Reformatted for gjots from the original Psion files quotes.s5 from http://3lib.ukonline.co.uk/pocketinfo/index.html by Bob Hepple bhepple@freeshell.org Nov 2002 \NewEntry A baby is God's opinion that life should go on. Carl Sandburg \NewEntry A bad casting call: Can't act. Can't sing. Balding. Can dance a little. MGM exec (about Fred Astaire's screen test) \NewEntry A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. Robert Frost \NewEntry A big man is one who makes us feel bigger when we are with him. John C. Maxwell \NewEntry A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours. Anonymous \NewEntry A champion views resistance as a gift of energy. Michael J. Gelb \NewEntry A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. Herbert Prochnow \NewEntry A Classic is something that everyone wants to have read but nobody wants to read. Mark Twain \NewEntry A closed mouth gathers no foot. Anonymous \NewEntry A committee is a group of the unwilling, chosen from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. Anonymous \NewEntry A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. Douglas Adams \NewEntry A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm. Henrik Ibsen \NewEntry A Conservative Government is an organised hypocrisy. Benjamin Disraeli \NewEntry A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs. German Proverb \NewEntry A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave. Mahatma Gandhi \NewEntry A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Oscar Wilde \NewEntry A day without sunshine is like night. Anonymous \NewEntry A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. Robert Frost \NewEntry A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you. Francois Sagan \NewEntry A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in the experience. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry A feature is a bug with seniority. Anonymous \NewEntry A Frenchman must always be talking, whether or not he knows anything of the matter or not; an Englishman is content to say nothing when he has nothing to say. Samuel Johnson \NewEntry A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Anonymous \NewEntry A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry A goalscorer should let fly as soon as he sees the goal. Steve Bloomer \NewEntry A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit. John C. Maxwell \NewEntry A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. Katharine Whitehorn \NewEntry A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. Wilson Mizner \NewEntry A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming. Jane Fonda \NewEntry A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. William James \NewEntry A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash. Puzant Kevork Thomajan \NewEntry A high-class horse could not win a race with a feather on his back if he is not in condition. George E. Smith \NewEntry A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. Robert Frost \NewEntry A law is valuable not because it is law, but because there is right in it. Henry Ward Beecher \NewEntry A leader is a dealer in hope. Napoleon Bonaparte \NewEntry A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go but ought to be. Rosalynn Carter \NewEntry A little Government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them. P.J. O'Rourke \NewEntry A little less complaint and whining, and a little more dogged work and manly striving, would do us more credit than a thousand civil rights bills. W.E.B. DuBois \NewEntry A little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one. J.Pierpoint Morgan \NewEntry A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. Zsa Zsa Garbor \NewEntry A man is known by the books he reads. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry A man is measured by the size of things that anger him. Geof Greenleaf \NewEntry A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do, nothing else. Andre Malraux \NewEntry A man isn't poor if he can still laugh. Raymond Hitchcock \NewEntry A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. John C. Maxwell \NewEntry A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car, but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad. Franklin D. Roosevelt \NewEntry A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights. Napoleon Bonaparte \NewEntry A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle. Benjamin Franklin \NewEntry A man's best friends are his ten fingers. Robert Collyer \NewEntry A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world. George Santayana \NewEntry A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. Walter Bagehot \NewEntry A metaphor is like a simile. Anonymous \NewEntry A nuclear power plant is infinitely safer than eating, because 300 people choke to death on food every year. Dixy Lee Ray \NewEntry A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. Dwight D. Eisenhower \NewEntry A plausible impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility. Aristotle \NewEntry A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground. H. L. Mencken \NewEntry A poor life this if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare. William Henry Davies \NewEntry A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck. James A. Garfield \NewEntry A precedent embalms a principle. Benjamin Disraeli \NewEntry A religion is a heresy with an adequate army. Cariadoc \NewEntry A rolling stone gathers momentum. Anonymous \NewEntry A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself. Donald R. Perry Marquis \NewEntry A ship is always referred to as she because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder. Chester Nimitz \NewEntry A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. Joseph Stalin \NewEntry A single fact can spoil a good argument. Anonymous \NewEntry A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. Greek Proverb \NewEntry A Stanford research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days afte Anonymous \NewEntry A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him. Sidney Greenberg \NewEntry A visionary is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world. Oscar Wilde \NewEntry A wise and frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labour the bread it has earned. This i Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry Above all things I hope the education of the common people will be attended to, convinced that on their good sense we may rely with the most security for the preservation of a due degree of liberty. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry Absolute liberty is absence of restraint; responsibility is restraint; therefore, the ideally free individual is responsible to himself. Henry Brooks Adams \NewEntry Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. William James \NewEntry Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better. Anonymous \NewEntry Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. Mark Twain \NewEntry Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts. Saki H.H. Munro \NewEntry Advice to persons about to marry. Don't. Punch \NewEntry After you've done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over. Alfred Edward Perlman \NewEntry Again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made. Robert Schuller \NewEntry Alcohol is a very necessary article....It makes life bearable for millions of people who could not endure it's existence if they were quite sober. George Bernard Shaw \NewEntry All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. George Orwell \NewEntry All colours will agree in the dark. Francis Bacon \NewEntry All easy problems have already been solved. Anonymous \NewEntry All government, indeed every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue, and every prudent act, is founded on compromise and barter. Edmund Burke \NewEntry All life's answers are on TV. Homer Simpson \NewEntry All mankind loves a lover. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry All men are liable to error; and most men are, in many points, by passion or interest, under temptation to it. John Locke \NewEntry All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right. Anonymous \NewEntry All men think all men are mortal but themselves. Edward Young \NewEntry All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. Maurice Maeterlinck \NewEntry All right, you worthless vermin! No more Mister Nice Pope! Cerebus \NewEntry All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral or fattening. Alexander Woollcott \NewEntry All this buttoning and unbuttoning. Eighteenth Century suicide note \NewEntry All we are saying is give peace a chance. John Lennon \NewEntry All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. Oscar Wilde \NewEntry All you have to do to protect yourself from radiation is to go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath. David Miller \NewEntry Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. Mark Twain \NewEntry Always be a little kinder than necessary. James M. Barrie \NewEntry Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you. Cyril Connolly \NewEntry Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back. Anonymous \NewEntry Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain \NewEntry Always do what you are afraid to do. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. Yogi Berra \NewEntry Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. Robert Heilein \NewEntry Always question. Always analyse. But in the end, suspend judgement until you've been there. Live it to learn it. Mark McClinchie \NewEntry Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way. Anonymous \NewEntry America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation. Georges Clemenceau \NewEntry America's abundance was not created by public sacrifices to æthe common good,' but by the productive genius of free men who pursued their own personal interests and the making of their own private fortunes. Ayn Rand \NewEntry Americans have different ways of saying things. They say elevator, we say lift...they say President, we say stupid psychopathic git... Alexi Sayle \NewEntry Americans, indeed all freemen, remember that in the final choice, a soldier's pack is not so heavy a burden as a prisoner's chains. Dwight D. Eisenhower \NewEntry An aristocracy in a republic is like a chicken whose head has been cut off; it may run about in a lively way, but in fact it is dead. Nancy Mitford \NewEntry An armed society is a polite society. Anonymous \NewEntry An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Laurence J. Peter \NewEntry An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one. George Mikes \NewEntry An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field. Niels Bohr \NewEntry An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy. Anonymous \NewEntry An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. Nicholas Murray Butler \NewEntry An expert is a person who avoids small error as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy. Benjamin Stolberg \NewEntry An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. Simon Cameron \NewEntry An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience. Donald R. Perry Marquis \NewEntry An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts. John Junor \NewEntry Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no government at all. Anonymous \NewEntry And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.) Dave Barry \NewEntry And now the sequence of events in particular order. Dan Rather \NewEntry And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy business people Get Ahead by using their Macintosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report. Dave Barry \NewEntry And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. John F. Kennedy \NewEntry And when we think we lead, we are most led. Lord Byron \NewEntry Any colour - so long as it's black. Henry Ford \NewEntry Any coward can sit in his home and criticise a pilot for flying into a mountain in a fog. But I would rather, by far, die on a mountainside than in bed. What kind of man would live where there is no daring? And is life so dear that we should blame men for Charles Lindbergh Jr. \NewEntry Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. Samuel Butler \NewEntry Any law that takes hold of a man's daily life cannot prevail in a community, unless the vast majority of the community are actively in favour of it. The laws that are the most operative are the laws which protect life. Henry Ward Beecher \NewEntry Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its opponents blame it for the drought. Dwight Morrow \NewEntry Any shot that scores is a good shot. Steve Bloomer \NewEntry Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. Anonymous \NewEntry Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win. Doug Collins (basketball commentator). \NewEntry Anyone can count the seeds in an apple. No one can count the apples in a seed. Anonymous \NewEntry Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work. Al Capp \NewEntry Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory. Leonardo Da Vinci \NewEntry Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. Samuel Goldwyn \NewEntry Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation. Edward R. Murrow \NewEntry Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate. Anonymous \NewEntry Anything is possible. I have seen Bestie refuse a drink and I've seen Emlyn Hughes buy one. Alan Ball \NewEntry Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. Anonymous \NewEntry Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Anonymous \NewEntry Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies. Anonymous \NewEntry As a general rule, the freedom of any people can be judged by the volume of their laughter. Anonymous \NewEntry As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children. Anita Bryant \NewEntry As a rule, he or she who has the most information will have the greatest success in life. Disraeli \NewEntry As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. Dick Cavett \NewEntry As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for. Josh Billings \NewEntry As of 1992, they're called European Economic Community fries. Anonymous \NewEntry As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. Hagar the Horrible \NewEntry Ask a man which way he is going to vote, and he will probably tell you. Ask him, however, why, and vagueness is all. Bernard Levin \NewEntry Asking æwho ought to be the boss' is like asking æwho ought to be the tenor in the quartet?' Obviously, the man who can sing tenor. Henry Ford \NewEntry Assassination is the extreme form of censorship. George Bernard Shaw \NewEntry Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. George Jean Nathan \NewEntry Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. Mel Brooks \NewEntry Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical. Yogi Berra \NewEntry Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything. Aesop \NewEntry Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most. Anonymous \NewEntry Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. Michael Caine \NewEntry Be polite to all, but intimate with few. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so. H. Jackson Brown, Jr. \NewEntry Be wisely worldly, be not worldly wise. Francis Quarles \NewEntry Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. Murphys Law \NewEntry Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Because everyone uses language to talk, everyone thinks he can talk about language. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe \NewEntry Because just as good morals, if they are to be maintained, have need of the laws, so the laws, if they are to be observed, have need of good morals. NiccolŸ Machiavelli \NewEntry Before God we are equally wise - and equally foolish. Albert Einstein \NewEntry Before you kill something make sure you have something better to replace it with; something better than political opportunist slamming hate horse shit in the public park. Charles Bukowski \NewEntry Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. Og Mandino \NewEntry Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. Margaret Thatcher \NewEntry Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it. Andr Gide \NewEntry Better an ounce of luck than a pound of gold. Yiddish Proverb \NewEntry Better by far you should forget and smile that you should remember and be sad. Christina Rossetti \NewEntry Better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln \NewEntry Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Mae West \NewEntry Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same. Anonymous \NewEntry Bite the wax tadpole. Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese \NewEntry Bobby Knight told me this: ``There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offence.'' In other words a good offence wins. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. Kin Hubbard \NewEntry Brain researchers estimate that your unconscious data base outweighs the conscious on an order exceeding ten million to one. This data base is the source of you hidden, natural genius. In other words, a part of you is much smarter than you are. The wise p Michael J. Gelb \NewEntry Brevity is the best recommendation of speech, whether in a senator or an orator. Cicero \NewEntry Brevity is the soul of wit. William Shakespeare \NewEntry Bumper sticker: Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking dog. Dorothy. Anonymous \NewEntry Bumper sticker: DANGER! I drive like you do. Anonymous \NewEntry Business is like a wheelbarrow. Nothing ever happens until you start pushing. Anonymous \NewEntry But I'm not so think as you drunk I am. Sir J. C. Squire \NewEntry By and large, I seem to have made more mistakes than any others of whom I know, but have learned thereby to make ever swifter acknowledgement of the errors and thereafter immediately set about to deal more effectively with the truths disclosed by the ackn Buckminster Fuller \NewEntry By the time you say you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying û Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying. Dorothy Parker \NewEntry By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach. Sir Winston Churchill \NewEntry Call it what you will, incentives are what get people to work harder. Nikita Krushchev \NewEntry Can God write a check for a sum so large that he can't cover it? I can. If God can't, what does that say about his omnipotence? Dani Zweig \NewEntry Can heresy itself be a legitimate religion? Nilakantha the Simple \NewEntry Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity, it should end there. Clare Boothe Luce \NewEntry Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. They know that the best way to forecast the future is to create it. Michael J. Gelb \NewEntry Chance favours the prepared mind. Louis Pasteur \NewEntry Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries. James A. Michener \NewEntry Character is doing what's right when nobody's looking. J.C. Watts \NewEntry Character is much easier kept than recovered. Thomas Paine \NewEntry Character is power. Booker T. Washington \NewEntry Checks and balances does not mean writing the checks while ignoring the balances. Anonymous \NewEntry Cheer up! The worst is yet to come! Philander Chase Johnson \NewEntry Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. Anonymous \NewEntry Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? Jules Feiffer \NewEntry Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theatre. Roman Polanski \NewEntry Class has a sense of humour. It knows that a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations. Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes. Class bespeaks an aristocracy unrelated to ancestors or Ann Landers \NewEntry Class is how you treat people who can do nothing for you. Geof Greenleaf \NewEntry Clone, n 1. an exact duplicate, as in our product is a clone of their product. 2. a shoddy, spurious copy, as in their product is a clone of our product. Anonymous \NewEntry Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain \NewEntry Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage. Anonymous \NewEntry College isn't the place to go for ideas. Hellen Keller \NewEntry Comedy is tragedy plus time. Carol Burnett \NewEntry Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom. Samuel Coleridge \NewEntry Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. Albert Einstein \NewEntry Computer : a million morons working at the speed of light. David Ferrier \NewEntry Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Anonymous \NewEntry Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. Anonymous \NewEntry Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job will cost. Anonymous \NewEntry Condense soup, not books! Anonymous \NewEntry Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favourable do nothing. William Feather \NewEntry Confusion is the welcome mat at the door of creativity. Michael J. Gelb \NewEntry Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. H. L. Mencken \NewEntry Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Anonymous \NewEntry Conscious is when you are aware of something, and conscience is when you wish you weren't. Anonymous \NewEntry Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles. George Mikes \NewEntry Conversation is one of the greatest pleasures of life. But it wants leisure. W. Somerset Maugham \NewEntry Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. Anonymous \NewEntry Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. General George S. Patton \NewEntry Courage is grace under pressure. Ernest Hemingway \NewEntry Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Mark Twain \NewEntry Crazy people who are productive are geniuses. Crazy people who are rich are eccentric. Crazy people who are neither productive nor rich are just plain crazy. Geniuses and crazy people are both out in the middle of a deep ocean; geniuses swim, crazy people Michael J. Gelb \NewEntry Crime does not pay... as well as politics. A.E. Newman \NewEntry Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word, equality. But notice the difference: while democracy seeks equality in liberty, socialism seeks equality in restraint and servitude. Alexis De Tocqueville \NewEntry Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Laurance Peter \NewEntry Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes. Anonymous \NewEntry Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. R. E. Shay \NewEntry Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. William Jennings Bryan \NewEntry Did you ever expect a corporation to have a conscience, when it has no soul to be damned, and no body to be kicked ? Edward Thurlow \NewEntry Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics. Wendell Phillips \NewEntry Diligence is the mother of good luck. Benjamin Franklin \NewEntry Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice Doggie! till you can find a rock. Wynn Catlin \NewEntry Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. Will Rogers \NewEntry Do I not like that ! Graham Taylor \NewEntry Do not follow where the path may lead....go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Anonymous \NewEntry Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model. Vincent van Gogh \NewEntry Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry Do you know what I like about the Irish team ? They are the only team to who come off at the end of the game and ask Who won ?. Spike Milligan \NewEntry Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? Steven Wright \NewEntry Do your damnedest in an ostentatious manner all the time. General George S. Patton \NewEntry Dogs come when they are called. Cats have answering machines and may get back to you. Anonymous \NewEntry Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius. Henri-Frederic Amiel \NewEntry Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. Ann Landers \NewEntry Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison. John Hardwick \NewEntry Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain \NewEntry Don't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. Anonymous \NewEntry Don't let school interfere with your education. Mark Twain \NewEntry Don't Panic. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy \NewEntry Dorothy MacMillian: ôWhat are you looking forward to now ?ö Madame de Gualle: ôA penisö General de Gualle: ôMy dear, I think the English don't pronounce the word quite like that. It's not æa penis' but æappiness'. \NewEntry Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. Francis M. Voltaire \NewEntry Doubt is uncomfortable, certainty is ridiculous. Francis M. Voltaire \NewEntry Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. Alfred Hitchcock \NewEntry Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. Anonymous \NewEntry Due to budgetary restraints, the light at the end of the tunnel will be shut off until further notice. Anonymous \NewEntry Eagles don't flock - you have to find them one at a time. H. Ross Perot \NewEntry Economics is war pursued by other means. Raymond F. DeVoe Jr. \NewEntry Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. Laurance Peter \NewEntry Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. Will Duran \NewEntry Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self confidence. Robert Frost \NewEntry Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. Nelson Mandela \NewEntry Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. B. F. Skinner \NewEntry Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave. Henry Brougham \NewEntry Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure. Benjamin Franklin \NewEntry England and America are two countries divided by a common language. George Bernard Shaw \NewEntry Eschew obfuscation. Anonymous \NewEntry Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Arthur Godfrey \NewEntry Every absurdity has a champion to defend it, for error is always talkative. Oliver Goldsmith \NewEntry Every great mistake has a half-way moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied. Pearl Buck \NewEntry Every man I meet is in some way my superior. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Every man is dishonest who lives upon the labour of others, no matter if he occupies a throne. Robert Green Ingersoll \NewEntry Every revolutionary idea - in science, politics, art, or whatever - evokes three stages of reaction in a hearer: 1.It is completely impossible - don't waste my time. 2.It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along. Anonymous \NewEntry Every time history repeats itself the price goes up. Anonymous \NewEntry Every woman should marry - and no man. Benjamin Disraeli \NewEntry Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Joe Louis \NewEntry Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others. Winston Churchill \NewEntry Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. Will Rogers \NewEntry Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom. Albert Einstein \NewEntry Everything's in the mind. That's where it all starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it. Mae West \NewEntry Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb. Rick Moranis \NewEntry Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. Charles Caleb Colton \NewEntry Excellence in any department can be attained only by the labour of a lifetime; it is not to be purchased at a lesser price. Samuel Johnson \NewEntry Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. W. Somerset Maugham \NewEntry Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one, and they all stink. US Marine Proverb \NewEntry Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. Alice Walker \NewEntry Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope. Arnold Glasow \NewEntry Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey \NewEntry Expenditure rises to meet income. C. Northcote Parkinson \NewEntry Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other. Benjamin Franklin \NewEntry Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. Aldous Huxley \NewEntry Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes. Oscar Wilde \NewEntry Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence. John Quincy Adams \NewEntry Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. Aldous Huxley \NewEntry Failing doesn't make you a failure. Giving up, accepting your failure, refusing to try again does! Richard Exely \NewEntry Failing organisations are usually over-managed and under-led. Warren G. Bennis \NewEntry Failure is only postponed success as long as courage coaches ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory. Herbert Kaufman \NewEntry Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently. Henry Ford \NewEntry Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move. Anonymous \NewEntry Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though chequered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory or defeat Theodore Roosevelt \NewEntry Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them. Robert Green Ingersoll \NewEntry Fidelity purchased with money, money can destroy. Seneca \NewEntry Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth or the only truth. Charles A. Dana \NewEntry Fight organized crime: stamp out the IRS. Anonymous \NewEntry Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. Charles H. Grosvenor \NewEntry Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. H. Jackson Brown, Jr. \NewEntry Find expression for a sorrow and it will become dear to you. Find expression for a joy, and you will intensify its ecstasy. Anonymous \NewEntry Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it. Katherine Whitehorn \NewEntry First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity: no really self-respecting woman would take advantage of it. George Bernard Shaw \NewEntry Football is the fourth most popular sport in America after American Football, baseball, basketball and ice hockey. Alan Parry \NewEntry For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. Anonymous \NewEntry For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex ...uh...setbacks. George Bush \NewEntry For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. William Ross Wallace \NewEntry For NASA, space is still a high priority. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. John F. Kennedy \NewEntry Form is transitory, class is permanent. Viv Richards \NewEntry Frank doesn't have to fight in January. There are 12 other months in the year. Mickey Duff \NewEntry Frank O'Conner grows on you, like a cancer. Frank O'Conner \NewEntry Free people, remember this maxim: we may acquire liberty, but it is never recovered if it is once lost. Jean Jacques Rousseau \NewEntry Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem. J. Krishnamurti \NewEntry Freedom is being able to live with the consequences of your decisions. James X. Mullen \NewEntry Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. Samuel Butler \NewEntry From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. Karl Marx \NewEntry From the moment I picked it until the moment I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Groucho Marx \NewEntry Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. Wilson Mizner \NewEntry Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. George-Louis De Buffon \NewEntry Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration. Thomas Alva Edison \NewEntry Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done right. Walt Disney \NewEntry Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain \NewEntry Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. Zsa Zsa Gabor \NewEntry Give me control over a nation's currency, and I care not who makes its laws. Mayer Amschel Rothschild \NewEntry Give me six lines written by the most honourable of men, and I will find an excuse in them to hang him. Cardinal de Richelieu \NewEntry Give us the luxuries of life and we'll dispense with the necessaries. Oliver Wendell Holmes \NewEntry Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier. Anonymous \NewEntry Go peacefully amongst the things. Edwina (Eddie) on ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS \NewEntry Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain \NewEntry God has been replaced, as he has all over the West, with respectability and air conditioning. Imamu Amiri Baraka \NewEntry God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Reinhold Niebuhr \NewEntry Golf is a good walk spoiled. Mark Twain \NewEntry Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. Anne Morrow Lindbergh \NewEntry Good executives never put off until tomorrow what they can get someone else to do today. John C. Maxwell \NewEntry Good government generally begins in the family, and if the moral character of a people once degenerate, their political character must soon follow. Elias Boudinot \NewEntry Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement. Anonymous \NewEntry Good leaders must first become good servants. Robert Greenleaf \NewEntry Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success. Anonymous \NewEntry Good order is the foundation of all things. Edmund Burke \NewEntry Good taste is better than bad taste, but bad taste is better than no taste. Arnold Bennett \NewEntry Goodwill and artillery will get you more than goodwill alone anytime. Anonymous \NewEntry Government cannot make us equal; it can only recognise, respect, and protect us as equal before the law. Clarence Thomas \NewEntry Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks. Herodotus \NewEntry Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow \NewEntry Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. Ezra Pound \NewEntry Guidelines for bureaucrats: When in charge; ponder; When in trouble; delegate; When in doubt; mumble. James H. Boren \NewEntry Gun control is hitting your target. Andrew Beal \NewEntry Guns are always the best method for a private suicide. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time. P. J. O'Rourke \NewEntry Half of the people in the world are below average. Anonymous \NewEntry Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. Norman MacEwan \NewEntry Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Jeff Pesis \NewEntry Hartley's Second Law: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. Anonymous \NewEntry Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a - it is different than the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry He didn't say that. He read what was given to him in a speech. Richard Darman on George Bush \NewEntry Happy campers you have been, happy campers you are, and happy campers you will always be. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing. Cicero \NewEntry He first deceased; She for a little tried. To live without him; Liked it not, and died. Sir Henry Wotton \NewEntry He found it inconvenient to be poor. William Cowper \NewEntry He has achieved success who has worked well, laughed often, and loved much. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap. Anonymous \NewEntry He laughs best who laughs last. English Proverb \NewEntry He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. Benjamin Franklin \NewEntry He that hath a trade hath an estate; he that hath a calling hath an office of profit and honour. Benjamin Franklin \NewEntry He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. Chinese proverb \NewEntry He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit. Anonymous \NewEntry He who loses control, loses. Frank Pembleton \NewEntry He who opens a school door, closes a prison. Victor Hugo \NewEntry He who talks much cannot talk well. Carlo Goldoni \NewEntry He's going to chance his arm with his left foot. Trevor Brooking \NewEntry He's still green behind the ears. Congressman Cederberg of Michigan referring to a young attorney \NewEntry Here lies a man who knew how to enlist the service of better men than himself. Tombstone of Andrew Carnegie \NewEntry Heresy is another word for freedom of thought. Graham Greene \NewEntry Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. Billy Wilder \NewEntry Hindsight is an exact science. Anonymous \NewEntry His doubts are better than most people's certainties. Earl of Hardwicke \NewEntry History is more or less bunk. Henry Ford \NewEntry History is not going to be kind to liberals. With their mindless programs, they've managed to do to Black Americans what slavery, Reconstruction, and rank racism found impossible: destroy their family and work ethic. Walter Williams \NewEntry History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. Napoleon Bonaparte \NewEntry History suggests that Capitalism is a necessary condition for political freedom. Milton Friedman \NewEntry History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. Abba Eban \NewEntry Hitch your wagon to a star. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper. Francis Bacon \NewEntry Horses just naturally have mohawk haircuts. Anonymous \NewEntry How can you tell when sour cream goes bad? Anonymous \NewEntry How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry How noble the law, in its majestic equality, that both the rich and poor are equally prohibited from peeing in the streets, sleeping under bridges, and stealing bread! Anatole France \NewEntry How to store your baby walker: First, remove babyà. instructions on baby walker \NewEntry Humour is the shortest distance between two people. Victor Borge \NewEntry I am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry I am a jelly doughnut English translation of John F. Kennedy speaking at the Berlin Wall \NewEntry I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. W.C. Fields \NewEntry I am honoured today to begin my first term as the Governor of Baltimore - that is Maryland. William Donald Schaefer, first inaugural address \NewEntry I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry I am not wanting to make too long speech tonight as I am knowing your old English saying, ôEarly to bed and up with the cockö. Hungarian diplomat \NewEntry I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do. Helen Keller \NewEntry I am providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raisedà Marion Barry Jr \NewEntry I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Sir Winston Churchill \NewEntry I am responsible only to God and history. Francisco Franco \NewEntry I am very patriotic. I've committed one crime in my life. John Walker, convicted as a Soviet spy \NewEntry I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. Garrison Keillor \NewEntry I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike? Jean Cocteau \NewEntry I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. H. L. Mencken \NewEntry I believe in unions and I believe in non-unions. George Bush \NewEntry I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry I came, I saw, I conquered. Julius Caesar \NewEntry I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. Wilson Mizner \NewEntry I cannot be fired. Slaves have to be sold. Anonymous \NewEntry I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure - which is: Try to please everybody. Herbert Bayard Swope \NewEntry I cannot live without books. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry I conceive that a knowledge of books is the basis on which all other knowledge rests. George Washington \NewEntry I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control. Steven Wright \NewEntry I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake. J. Danforth Quayle, stepping out of the helicopter upon arrival at Alameda Naval Air Station. \NewEntry I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend. Abraham Lincoln \NewEntry I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain \NewEntry I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm jut here for the drugs. Nancy Reagan \NewEntry I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. Francis M. Voltaire \NewEntry I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. Samuel Butler \NewEntry I do not think that winning is the most important thing. I think it is the only thing. Bill Veeck \NewEntry I don't have to practice what I preach 'cause I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to! The Book of The Subgenius \NewEntry I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby \NewEntry I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers \NewEntry I don't believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights, not group rights. Clarence Thomas \NewEntry I don't even know what street Canada is on. Al Capone \NewEntry I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen \NewEntry I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. Ashleigh Brilliant \NewEntry I favour the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry I feel sorry for Cupid's mother. How'd you like to try to toilet-train an armed kid who can fly? Anonymous \NewEntry I forget what I was taught. I only remember what I've learnt. Patrick White \NewEntry I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts. John Locke \NewEntry I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. Jackie Mason \NewEntry I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Harry S. Truman \NewEntry I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. Fred Allen \NewEntry I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. Anonymous \NewEntry I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they (the whites of South Africa) have turned to loving, they will find we (the blacks) are turned to hating. Alan Paton \NewEntry I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. Oscar Wilde \NewEntry I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it. Steven Wright \NewEntry I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. Confucius \NewEntry I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Alfred, Lord Tennyson \NewEntry I hope I stand for anti-bigotry, anti-Semitism, anti-racism. This is what drives me. George Bush \NewEntry I hope the referee's next crap is a hedgehog. Mick McCarthy \NewEntry I keep seeing lousy films and saying to myself, 'I don't know anything about movie making, but I couldn't do any worse than this'. Stanley Kubrick \NewEntry I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. Albert Einstein \NewEntry I know that's a secret, for it's whispered everywhere. William Congreve \NewEntry I like a man who grins when he fights. Sir Winston Churchill \NewEntry I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Winston Churchill \NewEntry I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big. Donald Trump \NewEntry I like to give home-made gifts. Which one of the kids would you like? Anonymous \NewEntry I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation. Samuel Osgood \NewEntry I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English. Saki (H. H. Munro) \NewEntry I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams \NewEntry I may argue with my brother, but I fight beside my brother against my cousin, and with my cousin against a stranger. Old Arab adage \NewEntry I mean to live my life an obedient man, but obedient to God, subservient to the wisdom of my ancestors; never to the authority of political truths arrived at yesterday at the voting booth. William F. Buckley Jr. \NewEntry I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget. Benjamin Disraeli \NewEntry I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love. Henry Ward Beecher \NewEntry I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever, in religion, in philosophy, in politics or in anything else, where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and m Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. Albert Einstein \NewEntry I place economy among the first and important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers. To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. We must make our choice between economy and liberty, or profusion and Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process. Benjamin Harrison \NewEntry I sincerely believe... that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity under the name of funding is but swindling futurity on a large scale. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers. Ralph Nader \NewEntry I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is getting better. Anonymous \NewEntry I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. Anonymous \NewEntry I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it. Dwight D. Eisenhower \NewEntry I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. Jerry Seinfeld \NewEntry I think that, as life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time at peril of being judged not to have lived. Oliver Wendell Holmes \NewEntry I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary, to many parasites living on the labour of the industrious. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry I think, ôWhat are those things Christ would want me to do ? Would Christ get on a plane and fly to New York and go on the Phil Donahue Show ?ö I believe he would, so I go. Richard Viguerie \NewEntry I think, therefore I am. Rene Descartes \NewEntry I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign \NewEntry I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session. Gib Lewis \NewEntry I want you to take your balls in your hand and bounce them on the floor and then throw them as high as you can. Now, have you all got your balls in your hands ? Announcer of children's radio show Listen With Mother to her audience \NewEntry I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour? Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that longö. Steven Wright \NewEntry I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know. Mark Twain \NewEntry I was never less alone than when by myself. Edward Gibbon \NewEntry I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. Steven Wright \NewEntry I will have no man work for me who has not the capacity to become a partner. J.C. Penney \NewEntry I wish it were possible to obtain a single amendment to our Constitution. I would be willing to depend on that alone for the reduction of the administration of our government; I mean an additional article taking from the Federal Government the power of bo Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. Groucho Marx \NewEntry I would bet that the Great San Francisco Glaucoma Epidemic of 1992 will be one for the history books. Alan Furman \NewEntry I would have made a good pope. Richard Nixon \NewEntry I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry I would like to express my sympathy to all those impacted by this disaster. J. Danforth Quayle standing in front of the collapsed section of highway caused by the Loma Prieta quake. \NewEntry I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry I would rather belong to a poor nation that was free than to a rich nation that had ceased to be in love with liberty. Woodrow Wilson \NewEntry I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest. John Keats \NewEntry I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? Anonymous \NewEntry I'd rather live nowhere than in the suburbs of nowhere. Lara Bliss \NewEntry I'll get a life as soon as I can find the FTP site. Anonymous \NewEntry I'm enclosing a few densely written and colourfully printed sheets about the program, as well as a complex application that has brought tears of irritation to many. William Logan \NewEntry I'm hard-nosed about luck. I think it sucks. Yeah, if you spend seven years looking for a job as a copywriter, and then one day somebody gives you a job, you can say, æGee, I was lucky I happened to go up there today'. But, dammit, I was going to go up th Jerry Della Femina \NewEntry I'm in favour of legalising drugs. According to my values system, if people want to kill themselves, they have every right to do so. Most of the harm that comes from drugs is because they are illegal. Milton Friedman \NewEntry I'm not against the blacks and a lot of the good blacks will attest to that. Evan Mecham, then governor of Arizona \NewEntry I'm so na´ve about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realised I didn't understand, she had to explain: ôThat's like three Mercedes. Then I understood. Brooke Shields \NewEntry I'm the consul for information, but I don't have any information. Ofra Ben Yaacoe \NewEntry I've got a mind like a...what's that thing called that you use to strain spaghetti? Anonymous \NewEntry If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live. Martin Luther King Jr. \NewEntry If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? Stanislaw J. Lec \NewEntry If a tree falls on a laboratory mouse, does it cause cancer? Anonymous \NewEntry If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. Anonymous \NewEntry If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world. Blaise Pascal \NewEntry If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Anonymous \NewEntry If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you. Paul æbear' Bryant \NewEntry If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average. M.H. Alderson \NewEntry If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. Anonymous \NewEntry If I ever needed a brain transplant, I'd choose a teenager's because I'd want a brain that had never been used. Anonymous \NewEntry If I have a thousand ideas and only one turns out to be good, I am satisfied. Alfred Nobel \NewEntry If I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough I would be convinced that we're in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people? Anonymous \NewEntry If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Bert Lance \NewEntry If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought. Dennis Roch \NewEntry If one man can be allowed to determine for himself what is law, every man can. That means first chaos, then tyranny. Legal process is an essential part of the democratic process. Felix Frankfurter \NewEntry If people really liked to work, we'd still be plowing the land with sticks and transporting goods on our backs. Eilliam Feather \NewEntry If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. Matthew 15:14 \NewEntry If the car industry behaved like the computer industry over the last 30 years, a Rolls-Royce would cost $5, get 300 miles per gallon, and blow up once a year killing all passengers inside. Anonymous \NewEntry If the children are untaught, their ignorance and vices will in future life cost us much dearer in their consequences than it would have done in their correction by a good education. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work. Anonymous \NewEntry If the human brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. Anonymous \NewEntry If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will. Anonymous \NewEntry If there is anything better than to be loved it is loving. Anonymous \NewEntry If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation. Rush Limbaugh \NewEntry If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualise world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. Anonymous \NewEntry If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable. Louis D. Brandeis \NewEntry If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry If you are never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances. Julia Sorel \NewEntry If you are sure you understand everything that is going on, you are hopelessly confused. Walter Mondale \NewEntry If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system. Anonymous \NewEntry If you can count your money you don't have a billion dollars. J. Paul Getty \NewEntry If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Harry S. Truman \NewEntry If you can't convince them, confuse them. Harry S. Truman \NewEntry If you could have a large sum of money, how much would you want? All of it. Cerebus \NewEntry If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old. Ed Howe \NewEntry If you don't make mistakes, you aren't really trying. Coleman Hawking \NewEntry If you hear an onion ring, answer it. Anonymous \NewEntry If you judge poeple, you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa \NewEntry If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made. Otto von Bismarck \NewEntry If you love something, let it go. If it comes back... it's probably dependent on you. Anonymous \NewEntry If you see a snake, just kill it. Don't appoint a committee on snakes. H. Ross Perot \NewEntry If you sit down and don't see a fish at the table, the fish is you. Ken Flaton \NewEntry If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok \NewEntry If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Earl Wilson \NewEntry If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right. Marykay Ash \NewEntry If you want to get a good idea, get a lot of ideas. Linus Pauling \NewEntry If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. John D. Rockefeller, Jr. \NewEntry If you want to succeed, double your failure rate. Thomas Watson \NewEntry If you were asked a hypothetical question, would you answer it? Anonymous \NewEntry If you will tell me why the fen appears impassable, I then will tell you why I think that I can cross it if I try. Marianne Moore \NewEntry If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing. Napoleon Bonaparte \NewEntry If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate. Anonymous \NewEntry If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl. H.L. Mencken \NewEntry Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. Robert Orben \NewEntry Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited while imagination embraces the entire world. Albert Einstein \NewEntry If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. John F Kennedy \NewEntry If it is to be, it is up to me. Anonymous \NewEntry In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Laurence Peter \NewEntry In a survey taken several years ago, all incoming freshman at MIT were asked if they expected to graduate in the top half of their class. Ninety-seven percent responded that they did. Anonymous \NewEntry In a way, staring into a computer screen is like staring into an eclipse. It's brilliant and you don't realize the damage until it's too late. Bruce Sterling \NewEntry In a world of private property, if something isn't owned by somebody, it's going to be misused by somebody else. Pete Seeger \NewEntry In all forms of government the people is the true legislator. Edmund Burke \NewEntry In an Orkin Exterminating Co. survey of what pests Pittsburghers fear most, 1.3% named their spouses and kids. Anonymous \NewEntry In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order. Idi Amin Dada \NewEntry In baiting a mouse-trap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse. Saki H. H. Munro \NewEntry In California, on time doesn't mean anything at all. An appointment for a meeting at three o'clock on Tuesday indicates that there won't be a meeting and there might not be a Tuesday. Few words and no numbers have any meaning west of the Nevada border. P. J. O'Rourke \NewEntry In case of fire, do not use elevator. Water works better. Anonymous \NewEntry In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely. Geoffrey Francis Fisher \NewEntry In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry In pioneer days they used oxen for heavy pulling, and when one ox couldn't budge a log, they didn't try to grow a larger ox. We shouldn't be trying for bigger computers, but for more systems of computers. Grace Hopper \NewEntry In politics stupidity is not a handicap. Napoleon Bonaparte \NewEntry In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence. Cesar Chavez \NewEntry In the fight between you and the world, back the world. Franz Kafka \NewEntry In the great mass of our people there are plenty individuals of intelligence from among whom leadership can be recruited. Herbert Hoover \NewEntry In the long run we are all dead. John Maynard Keynes \NewEntry In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, however, there is. Anonymous \NewEntry In this theatre of man's life, it is reserved only for God and angels to be lookers-on. Pythagoras \NewEntry In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin \NewEntry In time of war the first casualty is truth. Boake Carter \NewEntry In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these. Paul Harvey \NewEntry In war there is no substitute for victory. General Douglas MacArthur \NewEntry In years to come the phrase tight as Graham's Arsenal may replace the present colourful colloquialism describing someone reluctant to part with money. Paul Johnson \NewEntry Include the success of others in your dreams for your own success. Anonymous \NewEntry Infinite patience brings immediate results. Wayne Dyer \NewEntry Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Martin Luther King Jr. \NewEntry Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. One defends when his strength is inadequate; he attacks when it is abundant. Sun Tzu \NewEntry Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors. T. H. Huxley \NewEntry Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves? Friedrich Nietzsche \NewEntry Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to. Anonymous \NewEntry Is the word spec short for specification, or for speculation? Anonymous \NewEntry Is tired old clichÚ one? Anonymous \NewEntry It behoves every man who values liberty of conscience for himself, to resist invasions of it in the case of others: or their case may, by change of circumstances, become his own. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, as long as it catches mice. Deng Xiaoping \NewEntry It is a bad plan that admits of no modification. Publiius Syrus \NewEntry It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data. Arthur Conan Doyle \NewEntry It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Sir Winston Churchill \NewEntry It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability. Ed La Rochfoucould \NewEntry It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake. H. L. Mencken \NewEntry It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. Jerome K. Jerome \NewEntry It is amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit. John Wooden \NewEntry It is amazing how much people can get done if they do not worry about who gets the credit. Sandra Swinney \NewEntry It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. Harry S. Truman \NewEntry It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies. Arthur Calwell \NewEntry It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes, than to be narrow-minded and all to prudent. Vincent van Gogh \NewEntry It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees! Emiliano Zapata \NewEntry It is better to wear out than to rust out. Richard Cumberland \NewEntry It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. Rod Serling \NewEntry It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. Alfred Adler \NewEntry It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. Henry Louis Mencken \NewEntry It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain \NewEntry It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations. Walter Bagehot \NewEntry It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved. NiccolŸ Machiavelli \NewEntry It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. Seneca \NewEntry It is not enough for a handful of experts to attempt the solution of a problem, to solve it and then to apply it. The restriction of knowledge to an elite group destroys the spirit of society and leads to its intellectual impoverishment. Albert Einstein \NewEntry It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce. Francis M. Voltaire \NewEntry It is not the critic who counts, nor the person who points out how the strong person stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena; whose face is actually marred by dust and sweat Theodore Roosevelt \NewEntry It is not true that life is one damn thing after another...It's one damn thing over and over. Edna St. Vincent Millay \NewEntry It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry It is only through labour and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things. Theodore Roosevelt \NewEntry It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are. Clive James \NewEntry It is said that God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions. Francis M. Voltaire \NewEntry It is the fight alone that pleases us, not the victory. Blaise Pascal \NewEntry It is the mark of an inexperienced man not to believe in luck. Joseph Conrad \NewEntry It is the spirit and not the form of law that keeps justice alive. Justice Earl Warren \NewEntry It is true that liberty is precious - so precious that it must be rationed. Nikolai Lenin \NewEntry It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond of it. Robert E. Lee \NewEntry It is what you learn after you know it all that counts. John Wooden \NewEntry It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry It isn't the fact that the cats like to hang around while sex is going on that annoys me: it's those little score cards they hold up afterwards. Folo \NewEntry It isn't the incompetent who destroys an organisation. The incompetent never gets in a position to destroy it. It is those who have achieved something and want to rest upon their achievements who are forever clogging things up. F.M. Young \NewEntry It isn't the people you fire who make your life miserable, it's the people you don't. Harvey Mackay \NewEntry It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper. Errol Flynn \NewEntry It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him. Arthur C. Clarke \NewEntry It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. Anonymous \NewEntry It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the Queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. Anonymous \NewEntry It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant. Perdue chicken ad, as mistranslated abroad \NewEntry It takes 20 years to make an overnight success. Eddie Cantor \NewEntry It was one of the things I was always going to take care of, but sometimes I did not find all the funds available or I did not have all the documents and other materials I needed. David Dinkins \NewEntry It was only after their population of fifty mysteriously shrank to eight that the other seven dwarfs began to suspect Hungry. Anonymous \NewEntry It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years. John Von Neumann \NewEntry It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. Anonymous \NewEntry It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs. David Coleman \NewEntry It's a tale of two systems, John, and both exactly the same. Mark Laurenson, Radio 5 Live \NewEntry It's a very valuable function and requirement that you're performing, so have a great day and keep a stiff upper lip. J. Danforth Quayle speaking to oil spill clean-up workers at Prince William Sound \NewEntry It's a well known fact that computing devices such as the abacus were invented thousands of years ago. But it's not well known that the first use of a common computer protocol occurred in the Old Testament. This, of course, was when Moses aborted the Egy Anonymous \NewEntry It's bad manners to apply cosmetics in public. It reminds people you need them... P.J. O'Rourke \NewEntry It's deja vu all over again. Yogi Berra \NewEntry It's evolution, innit ? If you swim a lot you get webbed feet, if you bowl a lot you get a knackered shoulder. Phil Tufnell \NewEntry It's great to be great but it's greater to be human. William Rogers \NewEntry It's hard to make a program foolproof because fools are so ingenious. Anonymous \NewEntry It's hard to seize the day when you first have to grapple with the morning. Anonymous \NewEntry It's national clean-off-your-desk day. I think I found Elvis. Anonymous \NewEntry It's not that I object to people re-inventing the wheel; what gets to me is watching them re-invent the flat tire. Todric \NewEntry It's not what we don't know that hurts us, it's what we know for sure that just ain't so. Mark Twain \NewEntry It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts. Millard Fuller \NewEntry It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. Tallulah Bankhead \NewEntry It's the good loser who finally loses out. Kin Hubbard \NewEntry [It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. Anonymous \NewEntry It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. Earl Weaver \NewEntry Jaw, jaw is better than war, war. Winston Churchill \NewEntry Jenny kissed me when we met, Jumping from the chair she sat in, Time you thief, who love to get, Sweets into your list, you put in, Say you're weary, say you're sad, Say that health and wealth have missed me, Say I'm growing old, but add Jenny kissed me. Leigh Hunt \NewEntry John Barrymore: you should play Hamlet. Jimmy Durante: To hell with them small towns. I'll stick to New York. \NewEntry John Hollins has a very strong wife. It might have been better if I'd made her manager. Ken Bates \NewEntry Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is. Anonymous \NewEntry Justice is incidental to law and order. J. Edgar Hoover \NewEntry Keep a stiff upper chin. Samuel Goldwyn \NewEntry Keep your head and your heart going in the right direction and you will not have to worry about your feet. Anonymous \NewEntry Kites rise highest against the wind; not with it. Sir Winston Churchill \NewEntry Knock, Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice! Anonymous \NewEntry Labour is man's greatest function. He is nothing, he can do nothing, he can achieve nothing, he can fulfil nothing, without working. Orville Dewey \NewEntry Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability. Flower A. Newhouse \NewEntry Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone, and the word solitude to express the glory of being alone. Paul Tillich \NewEntry Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Language is only the instrument of science, and words are but the signs of ideas. Samuel Johnson \NewEntry Language is the armoury of the human mind, and at once contains the trophies of its past and the weapons of its future conquests. Samuel Taylor Coleridge \NewEntry Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow. Oliver Wendell Holmes \NewEntry Language is the dress of thought. Samuel Johnson \NewEntry Last night I dreamed I had insomnia. I woke up exhausted, yet too well rested to go back to sleep. Bob Ingman \NewEntry Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. Victor Hugo \NewEntry Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain. Charlie Chaplin \NewEntry Laws that do not embody public opinion can never be enforced. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry Laws were made to be broken. Christopher North \NewEntry Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way. General George S. Patton \NewEntry Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it. Sam Levenson \NewEntry Leaders get out in front and stay there by raising the standards by which they judge themselves - and by which they are willing to be judged. Fredrick Smith \NewEntry Leaders who win the respect of others are the ones who deliver more than they promise, not the ones who promise more than they can deliver. Mark A. Clement \NewEntry Leadership is influence. John C. Maxwell \NewEntry Leadership is the other side of the coin of loneliness, and he who is a leader must always act alone. And acting alone, accept everything alone. Ferdinand Edralin Marcos \NewEntry Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. Dwight D. Eisenhower \NewEntry Learn and think imperially. Joseph Chamberlian \NewEntry Learn to say æno' to the good so you can say æyes' to the best. John C. Maxwell \NewEntry Legislators represent people, not trees or acres. Legislators are elected by voters, not farms or cities or economic interests. Earl Warren \NewEntry Leisure is a beautiful garment, but it will not do for constant wear. Anonymous \NewEntry Leisure is the mother of philosophy. Thomas Hobbes \NewEntry Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night. George Allen \NewEntry Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. John Fitzgerald Kennedy \NewEntry Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is, and how, what a challenge it is, because in 1988 the question is whether we're going forward to tomorrow or whether we're going to go past to the to the back! J. Danfroth Quayle \NewEntry Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity. Louis Pasteur \NewEntry Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. Mark Twain \NewEntry Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain \NewEntry Liberty can not be preserved without a general knowledge among the people. John Adams \NewEntry Liberty consists in wholesome restraint. Daniel Webster \NewEntry Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. Will Rogers \NewEntry Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have. Harry Emerson Fosdick \NewEntry Liberty is the only thing you can't have unless you give it to others. William Allen White \NewEntry Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. George Bernard Shaw \NewEntry Liberty, not communism, is the most contagious force in the world. Earl Warren \NewEntry Life is 10% what you make it, and 90% how you take it. Irving Berlin \NewEntry Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving. Michael J. Gelb \NewEntry Life is a dead-end street. H. L. Mencken \NewEntry Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns. Charles Feidelson, Jr. \NewEntry Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. Jean de La BruyÞre \NewEntry Life is just one damned thing after another. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry Life is like a cash register, in that every account, every thought, every deed, like every sale, is registered and recorded. Fulton J. Sheen \NewEntry Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways. Stephen Vincent BenÚt \NewEntry Life is not worth living unless you have a choice of all the gloriously unhygienic things that mankind - especially the French portion of it - has lovingly created. HRH Prince Charles \NewEntry Life is the acceptance of responsibilities or their evasion, it is a business of meeting obligations or avoiding them. To every man the choice is continually being offered, and by the manner of his choosing you may fairly measure him. Ben Ames Williams \NewEntry Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. Samuel Butler \NewEntry Life is the childhood of our immortality. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe \NewEntry Life is the continuous adjustment of internal relations to external relations. Herbert Spencer \NewEntry Life must be lived as play. Plato \NewEntry Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems. Grace Hopper \NewEntry Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour. Stephen Butler Leacock \NewEntry Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual. Anonymous \NewEntry Light is the first of painters. There is no object so foul that intense light will not make it beautiful. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Light is the symbol of truth. James Russell Lowell \NewEntry Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone. Anonymous \NewEntry Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round. David Lodge \NewEntry Literature is news that stays news. Ezra Pound \NewEntry Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice. Cyril Connolly \NewEntry Literature is the immortality of speech. August Wilhelm von Schlegel \NewEntry Literature is the orchestration of platitudes. Thornton Wilder \NewEntry Live the questions. Rilke \NewEntry Logic is neither a science nor an art, but a dodge. Benjamin Jowett \NewEntry Logic is the anatomy of thought. John Locke \NewEntry Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence. Joseph Wood Krutch \NewEntry Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. Lord Dunsany \NewEntry Logic: an instrument used for bolstering a prejudice. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry Looking for enlightenment is like looking for a flashlight when all you need the flashlight for is to find the flashlight. Lew Welch \NewEntry Loquacity and lying are cousins. German Proverb \NewEntry Lord, give me the courage to change what I can, the wisdom to accept that which I cannot change, and the heavy artillery to make up the difference. Patrick L. Humphrey \NewEntry Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it. Richard Whately \NewEntry Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies. John Donne \NewEntry Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. Antoine de Saint-ExupÚry \NewEntry Love gives itself; it is not bought. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow \NewEntry Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination. Francis M. Voltaire \NewEntry Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come. Friedrich Nietzsche \NewEntry Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. Jean Anouilh \NewEntry Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. Peter Ustinov \NewEntry Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. Lynda Barry \NewEntry Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Robert Frost \NewEntry Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. Rabbi Julius Gordon \NewEntry Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real. Iris Murdoch \NewEntry Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. W. Somerset Maugham \NewEntry Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. H. L. Mencken \NewEntry Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old. John Ciardi \NewEntry Love: the delusion that one woman differs from another. H. L. Mencken \NewEntry Love's like the measles, all the worse when it comes late. Douglas Jerrold \NewEntry Loyalty ... is a realisation that America was born of revolt, flourished in dissent, became great through experimentation. Henry S. Commager \NewEntry Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice. Woodrow Wilson \NewEntry Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. Mark Twain \NewEntry Luck is the residue of design. Branch Rickey \NewEntry Luxury is the first, second and third cause of the ruin of republics. It is the vampire which soothes us into a fatal slumber while it sucks the lifeblood of our veins. Edward Payson \NewEntry Luxury may possibly contribute to give bread to the poor; but if there were no luxury, there would be no poor. Henry Home \NewEntry Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Anonymous \NewEntry Make voyages! Attempt them...there's nothing else. Tennessee Williams \NewEntry Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them. Adlai Stevenson \NewEntry Man is not logical and his intellectual history is a record of mental reserves and compromises. He hangs on to what he can in his old beliefs even when he is compelled to surrender their logical basis. John Dewey \NewEntry Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. Mark Twain \NewEntry Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up and carry on. Sir Winston Churchill \NewEntry Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimension. Oliver Wendell Holmes \NewEntry Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. John F. Kennedy \NewEntry Many times I find myself in a comfortable position - and I don't feel happy about it. It is...an enormous desire to go further, to travel beyond my own limits. Ayrton Senna \NewEntry Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce \NewEntry Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives. Anonymous \NewEntry May fortune favour the foolish. Captain James T. Kirk \NewEntry May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world. The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.[Not a beacon of literacy, though.] \NewEntry May you live all the days of your life. Jonathan Swift \NewEntry Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Aldous Huxley \NewEntry Meat is murder. Fish is justifiable ichthyocide. Ken Johnson, presumably a vegetarian \NewEntry Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognises genius. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle \NewEntry Men and women, women and men. It will never work. Erica Jong \NewEntry Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have lies in this; when I have a subject in hand, I study it profoundly. Day and night it is before me. My mind b Alexander Hamilton \NewEntry Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. Pope John XXIII \NewEntry Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe \NewEntry Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts. Francis M. Francis M. Voltaire \NewEntry Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz \NewEntry Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open. Anonymous \NewEntry Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure. Anonymous \NewEntry Mistress (n): something which fits between a mister and a mattress. Joe Lewis \NewEntry Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. Woody Allen \NewEntry More irregular verbs: I address the issues, you launch ad-homonym attacks, he's a flaming maniac and should have his access pulled. Dani Zweig \NewEntry Mortal as I am, I know that I am born for a day. But, when I follow at my leisure the serried multitude of the stars in their circular course, my feet no longer touch the ground. Ptolemy \NewEntry Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. Aldous Huxley \NewEntry Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. Henry David Thoreau \NewEntry Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln \NewEntry Most people who succeed n the face of seemingly impossible conditions are people who simply don't know how to quit. Robert Schuller \NewEntry Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read. Frank Zappa \NewEntry Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea! And if you were my wife, I would drink it! Sir Winston Churchill \NewEntry Mr. Churchill, you're drunk! Yes, I am; and you are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober. Sir Winston Churchill \NewEntry Mr. Hussein, do you think it was wise to go to war with pilots who have played Nintendo for seven years? Dick Locher \NewEntry Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry My country right or wrong; when right, to keep her right; when wrong, to put her right. Carl Schurz \NewEntry My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments. Steven Wright \NewEntry My desk is not messy! It's just decaying into a lower energy level faster than everyone else's. Anonymous \NewEntry My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I've just signed legislation which outlaws Russia. The bombing begins in five minutes. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry My good friend Trevor Brookly... Pele \NewEntry My horse was in the lead coming down the homestretch, when the caddie had to fall off. Samuel Goldwyn \NewEntry My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. Steven Wright \NewEntry My pessimism goes to the point of suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists. Jean Rostand \NewEntry Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abraham Lincoln \NewEntry Nearly everyone is in favour of going to heaven but too many are hoping they'll live long enough to see an easing of the entrance requirements. Anonymous \NewEntry Necessity is the mother of invention. Plato \NewEntry Negotiation may cost far less than war, or infinitely more: for war cannot cost more than one's life. Klingon Proverb \NewEntry Never appeal to a man's better nature. he might not have one. Anonymous \NewEntry Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference. Anonymous \NewEntry Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity. Anonymous \NewEntry Never chase a lie. Let it alone, and it will run itself to death. I can work out a good character much faster than anyone can lie me out of it. Lyman Beecher \NewEntry Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Mathew Browne \NewEntry Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry Never fight an inanimate object. P. J. O'Rourke \NewEntry Never hate you enemies, it affects you judgement. Michael Corleone \NewEntry Never have sex with anyone in the office. Always wait until you get home. Anonymous \NewEntry Never judge a book by its movie. J.W. Eagan \NewEntry Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. Nelson Algren \NewEntry Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely. Anonymous \NewEntry Never sign a contract with someone whom you need to sign a contract with, but sign a contract anyhow. Anonymous \NewEntry Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. General George S. Patton \NewEntry Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. F. J. Raymond \NewEntry Nice guys finish last. Manager of Brooklyn Dodgers \NewEntry Nil Carborundum Illegitimi. Anonymous \NewEntry Nixon has been sitting in the White House while George McGovern has been exposing himself to the people of the United States. Frank Licht, then governor of Rhode Island, campaigning for McGovern in 1972 \NewEntry No arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry No evil is without its compensation. The less money, the less trouble; the less favour, the less envy. Even in those cases which put us out of wits, it is not the loss itself, but the estimate of the loss that troubles us. Seneca \NewEntry No fool can be silent at a feast. Solon \NewEntry No good deed goes unpunished. Clare Boothe Luce \NewEntry No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did he would cease to be an artist. Oscar Wilde \NewEntry No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry No legacy is so rich as honesty. William Shakespeare \NewEntry No man is rich enough to buy back his past. Oscar Wilde \NewEntry No man knows what true happiness is until he gets married. By then, of course, its too late. Anonymous \NewEntry No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. Henry Brooke Adams \NewEntry No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it. Andrew Carnegie \NewEntry No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the Legislature is in session. Gideon J. Tucker \NewEntry No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back. Turkish proverb \NewEntry No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt \NewEntry No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. H. L. Mencken \NewEntry No one gossips about other people's secret virtues. Bertrand Russell \NewEntry No person was ever honoured for what he received. Honour has been the reward for what he gave. Calvin Coolidge \NewEntry Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source. Ron Nesen \NewEntry Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own. Sydney Harris \NewEntry Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. Joe Theismann \NewEntry Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. Anonymous \NewEntry None are innocent. There are only those weak enough to believe they are, And those strong enough to revel in the knowledge they are not. Anonymous \NewEntry Normal is...spending all day in a sick building with windows that don't open and a thermostat that is seasonally dysfunctional in order to make the environment consistently comfy and user-friendly for the mainframe computer. Ellen Goodman \NewEntry Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live; Not where I love, but where I am, I die. Robert Southwell \NewEntry Note: I think it's interesting that of my five children both my fifteen year old daughter and her sixteen year old brother independently chose this as their favourite. Anonymous \NewEntry Nothing arouses more hope than the first four hours of a diet. Anonymous \NewEntry Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so. Charles DeGaulle \NewEntry Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. Martin Luther King \NewEntry Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone. Jorge Luis Borges \NewEntry Nothing is more common than unfulfilled potential. Howard Hendricks \NewEntry Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all. Georg Christoph Lichtenberg \NewEntry Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. Henry Ford \NewEntry Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. John Kenneth Galbraith \NewEntry Nothing is so aggravating than calmness. Oscar Wilde \NewEntry Nothing is sufficient for the person who finds sufficiency too little. Epicurus \NewEntry Nothing like faecal incontinence to clear a room. Anonymous \NewEntry Nowadays, when opportunity knocks, you have to unlock both deadbolts, remove the chain, and turn off the burglar alarm... Anonymous \NewEntry Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. Kin Hubbard \NewEntry Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know? ... I bet if they did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.' George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students \NewEntry Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to succeed. Ronald ReaganO Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. \NewEntry Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Anonymous \NewEntry Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal. E. Joseph Cossman \NewEntry Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. Hannah More \NewEntry Obviously I didn't do better than last year. But I equalled it, which is good as doing better. Colin Montgomerie \NewEntry Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Anonymous \NewEntry Of course the US Constitution isn't perfect, but it's a lot better than what we have now. Anonymous \NewEntry Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. Anonymous \NewEntry Okay, our focus: Are babies bing Bred for Satanic Sacrifice ? Controversial to say the least. Unbelievable to say the least. Disgusting to say the least. We'll be rifht back ! Geraldo Rivera \NewEntry Oh! A wondrous bird is the Pelican ! His beak holds more than his belican. He stores in his beak, Food enough for a week, But I'll be darned if I know how the helican. Dixon Larnier Merritt \NewEntry Oh, and here comes Caddick to bowl again from the pavilion end again... well, I don't suppose he'll mind if I read the scores between his balls. Henry Blofeld, BBC Radio \NewEntry Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania. Dorothy Parker \NewEntry On behalf of all of you, I want to express my appreciation for this tremendously warm recession. Ron Brown \NewEntry On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. George Mikes \NewEntry On the edge of destiny, you must test your strength. Billy Bishop \NewEntry On the soft bed of luxury most kingdoms have expired. Edward Young \NewEntry On the whole human beings want to be good, but not to good and not quite all the time. George Orwell \NewEntry One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. AndrÚ Gide \NewEntry One essential to success is that you desire be an all-obsessing one, your thoughts and aims be co-ordinated, and your energy be concentrated and applied without letup. Anonymous \NewEntry One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent. H. L. Mencken \NewEntry One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. Antonio Porchia \NewEntry One man with courage makes a majority. Andrew Jackson \NewEntry One of the great arts of escaping superfluous uneasiness is to free our minds from the habit of comparing our conditions with those of life are more bountifully bestowed. Anonymous \NewEntry One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know. John Kenneth Galbraith \NewEntry One of the pleasantest things in the world is going on a journey; but I like to go by myself. William Hazlitt \NewEntry One ought to have a good memory when he has told a lie. Corneille \NewEntry One should dies proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly. Friedrich Nietzsche \NewEntry One sometimes finds advice about life in the oddest places. I saw a plastic bag the other day that warned me To avoid danger of suffocation, keep away from babies and small children. And they always seemed so cute and harmless! Fred Wamsley \NewEntry One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague. Robert Burton \NewEntry One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry Only aim to do your duty, and mankind will give you credit where you fail. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry Only the winners decide what were war crimes. Gary Wills \NewEntry Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason. AndrÚ Gide \NewEntry Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. Robert F. Kennedy \NewEntry Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T.S. Eliot \NewEntry Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence. Hebrew Proverb \NewEntry Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. Kyle Chandler \NewEntry Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls, and looks like work. Thomas A. Edison \NewEntry Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. Sign in tailors \NewEntry Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. Laurance Peter \NewEntry Ossie said he was the man he wanted. I don't remember him from the World Cup but I am sure he impressed me. Alan Sugar \NewEntry Our high respect for a well-read man is praise enough of literature. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education. John F. Kennedy \NewEntry Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner. General Omar Bradley \NewEntry Over-seriousness is a warning sign for mediocrity and bureaucratic thinking. People who are seriously committed to mastery and high performance are secure enough to lighten up. Michael J. Gelb \NewEntry Patience and fortitude conquer all things. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel. Samuel Johnson \NewEntry Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. Anonymous \NewEntry Peace is never a wall that separates, it is a bridge which unites. Dr. George Carey \NewEntry People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Joseph F. Newton \NewEntry People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision. John C. Maxwell \NewEntry People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts. Robert Keith Leavitt \NewEntry People need religion. It's a vehicle for a moral tradition. A crucial role. Nothing can take its place. Irving Kristol \NewEntry People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry People seldom know what they want until you give them what they ask for. Anonymous \NewEntry People who are against seats bemoan the lack of singing at Highbury but I remember 0-0 draws under Don Howe when there wasn't much singing either. Boyd Hilton \NewEntry People who cannot recognise a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilisation. Agnes Repplier \NewEntry People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little. Jean Jacques Rousseau \NewEntry People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues. Anonymous \NewEntry Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave. Ad slogan Pepsi Comes Alive as originally translated into Chinese \NewEntry Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right than to be responsible and wrong. Winston Churchill \NewEntry Petty laws breed great crimes. Ouida \NewEntry Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives. Anonymous \NewEntry Physics isn't a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money. Leon Lederman \NewEntry Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. Jonathan Kozol \NewEntry Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women. Katherine Hepburn \NewEntry Plants do not have the power of locomotion except perhaps for kudzu. Anonymous \NewEntry Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is. Ashleigh Brilliant \NewEntry Please provide the date of your death. IRS form. \NewEntry Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. Nikita Khruschev \NewEntry Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. Ronald Reagan \NewEntry Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. John Kenneth Galbraith \NewEntry Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. Mao Zedong \NewEntry Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people. Richard Nixon \NewEntry Possessions, outward success, publicity, luxury--to me these have always been contemptible. I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for every one, best for both the body and the mind. Albert Einstein \NewEntry Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous. William Proxmire \NewEntry Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Lord Acton \NewEntry Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming. J.P. McEvoy \NewEntry Practice is the best of all instructors. Publilius Syrus \NewEntry Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment, the other for all time. Chilton \NewEntry Professor Anthony Clare: You were an only child. Do you know why? Uri Geller: My parents didn't have any other children. \NewEntry Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rich Cook \NewEntry Proper behavior means always giving the appearance of unperturbed grace. This appearance is much easier to achieve if you really don't care about anything. This is why people always seem to be on their best behavior right before they commit suicide... Anonymous \NewEntry Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater. William Hazlitt \NewEntry Prudence which degenerates into timidity is very seldom the path to safety. Viscount Cecil \NewEntry Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel. Boies Penrose \NewEntry Public speaking is very easy. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry Put not your trust in princes, bureaucrats or generals, they will plead expedience while spilling your blood from a safe distance. NiccolŸ Machiavelli \NewEntry Put two or three men in positions of conflicting authority. This will force them to work at loggerheads, allowing you to be the ultimate arbiter. Franklin D. Roosevelt \NewEntry Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein \NewEntry Psychiatrists say that one out of four people is mentally ill. Check three friends; if they're OK, you're it. Anonymous \NewEntry Q: How do you spell onomatopoeia? A: The way it sounds. Anonymous \NewEntry Q: What do you get when you cross an Ethernet with an income statement? A: A local area networth. Anonymous \NewEntry Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teaches our children. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; Drugs cause cramp; Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You may as well live. Dorothy Parker \NewEntry Religious Views of Life: Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, shit happens. Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening ? Hinduism: This shit happened before. Islam: If shit happens, it is the w Anonymous \NewEntry Re: Neil Gaiman, and Modern Comics The word `masturbate' was censored out of one of the stories. He said Karen Berger told him, `It is official policy. People don't masturbate in the DC universe.' To which Neil replied, `That's why they all wear funny co \NewEntry Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. Mark Twain \NewEntry Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. Anonymous \NewEntry Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. Confucius \NewEntry Real poverty is less a state of income than a state of mind. George Gilder \NewEntry Reason has moons, but moons not hers lie mirrored on her sea confounding her astronomers, but oh, delighting me. Anonymous \NewEntry Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. Josh Billings \NewEntry Religion is a defense against the experience of God. Carl Jung \NewEntry Religion... is the opium of the masses. Karl Marx \NewEntry Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls. John Carlson \NewEntry Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work. Thomas A. Edison \NewEntry Retraction: The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18 inch pizza and not a huge 18 inch penis, as described in an add. Blondie's Pizza would like to apologise for any confusion Friday's ad may have caused. Correction printed in The Daily Californian \NewEntry Rewards and punishments are the lowest form of education. Chuang-Tzu \NewEntry Rome was not implemented in a day. Anonymous \NewEntry Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme Anonymous \NewEntry Saint Valentine was martyred, after all. Probably by single people. Karen Norteman \NewEntry School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you. John Updike \NewEntry Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. Helen Keller \NewEntry Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. Muhammad Ali \NewEntry Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. Joseph Fischer \NewEntry Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best. Woody Allen \NewEntry Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servility crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be o Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson \NewEntry Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars. Les Brown \NewEntry Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure. Thomas A. Edison \NewEntry Simply the thing I am shall make me live. William Shakespeare \NewEntry Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all. Oliver Wendell Holmes \NewEntry Since when was a genius found respectable ? Elizabeth Barret Browning \NewEntry æSir, are you going to fire the employee who made a mistake that cost the company $600,000?' No, I just spent $600,000 training him. Why would I want fire somebody with his experience? Tom Watson \NewEntry Skiing: the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk. Anonymous \NewEntry Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. Fletcher Knebel \NewEntry So little done, so much to do. Cecil Rhodes \NewEntry So unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else. Don Marquis \NewEntry Some call it evolution. And others call it God. William H. Carruth \NewEntry Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. Joseph Heller \NewEntry Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say Why not? Robert F. Kennedy \NewEntry Some people make things happen, some watch while things happen, and some wonder 'What happened?' Anonymous \NewEntry Some people march to the beat of a different drummer. And some people tango! Anonymous \NewEntry Somehow liberals have been unable to acquire from birth what conservatives seem to be endowed with at birth: namely, a healthy scepticism of the powers of government to do good. Daniel Moynihan \NewEntry Something told Dorothy she wasn't in Kansas anymore. Maybe it was the colour of the sky; maybe it was the smell in the air; maybe it was the road sign that said, Welcome to Missouri. Anonymous \NewEntry Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sigmund Freud \NewEntry Sometimes democracy must be bathed in blood. Augusto Pinochet \NewEntry Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma. Anonymous \NewEntry Speaking much is a sign of vanity, for he that is lavish with words is a niggard in deed. Sir Walter Raleigh \NewEntry Spoken language is merely a series of squeaks. Alfred North Whitehead \NewEntry Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. Margaret Thatcher \NewEntry Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. W.C. Fields \NewEntry Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Aaron Levenstein \NewEntry Status quo. Latin for the mess we're in. Anonymous \NewEntry Strength is a matter of the made-up mind. John Beecher \NewEntry Strength lies not in defence but in attack. Adolf Hitler \NewEntry Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time. George Bernard Shaw \NewEntry Success in marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person. Anonymous \NewEntry Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong. Adolf Hitler \NewEntry Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. Abraham Lincoln \NewEntry Take a breath, Al... Inhale. J. Danforth Quayle politely cutting off Senator Al Gore during the VP Debate in Atlanta \NewEntry Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. Erica Jong \NewEntry Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Euripides \NewEntry Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike. Anonymous \NewEntry Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done. Ernie Kovacs \NewEntry Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. the most terrifying thing is what people do want. Clive Barnes \NewEntry Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent. Napoleon Bonaparte \NewEntry That government is best which governs least. Henry David Thoreau \NewEntry That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Neil Armstrong \NewEntry The academic community has in it the biggest concentration of alarmists, cranks and extremists this side of the giggle house. William F. Buckley Jr. \NewEntry The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper. Thomas Jefferson \NewEntry The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that J. Danforth Quayle may or may not make. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry The art of becoming wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. William James \NewEntry The avalanche has already started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote. Ambassador Kosh Naranek of the Vorlon Empire, Babylon 5 \NewEntry The basic difference between an ordinary person and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary person takes everything as a blessing or a curse. Carlos Castaneda \NewEntry The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. Henry Louis Mencken \NewEntry The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it. Theodore Roosevelt \NewEntry The best is the enemy of the good. Francis M. Voltaire \NewEntry The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life. William James \NewEntry The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly. Abraham Lincoln \NewEntry The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma. Abraham Lincoln \NewEntry The big majority of Americans, who are comparatively well off, have developed an ability to have enclaves of people living in the greatest misery without almost noticing them. Gunnar Myrdal \NewEntry The breakfast of champions is not cereal, it's the opposition. Nick Seitz \NewEntry The brighter you are, the more you have to learn. Don Herold \NewEntry The camera cannot lie. But it can be an accessory to untruth. Harold Evans \NewEntry The car has become an item of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete in the urban compound. Marshall McLuhan \NewEntry The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at. George Bush, on the Alaska pipeline \NewEntry The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty. Ashleigh Brilliant \NewEntry The Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic); the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive). W.C.Sellar & R.J.Yeatman \NewEntry The cheerful loser is the winner. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom. Cyril Parkinson \NewEntry The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as good cooks go, she went. Saki H. H. Munro \NewEntry The couple of times I've played with cornettos, the finger holes seemed completely irrelevant to what note came out the end. Bill Sommerfeld \NewEntry The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Ellen Parr \NewEntry The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway. Bernard Avishai \NewEntry The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and under-nourishment. Robert Hutchins \NewEntry The decline of literature indicates the decline of a nation. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe \NewEntry The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. William James \NewEntry The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. Vince Lombardi \NewEntry The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. Woody Allen \NewEntry The destruction, it is just very heart-rendering. J. Danforth Quayle attempting to say the SF earthquake wreckage was heart-rending \NewEntry The doer alone learneth. Friedrich Nietzsche \NewEntry The dwarf sees further than the giant, when he has the giant's shoulder to mount. S. T. Coleridge \NewEntry The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. R. Buckminster Fuller \NewEntry The end of labour is to gain leisure. Aristotle \NewEntry The English are a different race. They are never beaten because of their indestructible belief in their own superiority. Giampiero Boniperti \NewEntry The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. Oscar Wilde \NewEntry The extreme always seems to make an impression. Heathers \NewEntry The farther back you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see. Winston Churchill \NewEntry The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion. Arnold H. Glasow \NewEntry The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on. Walter Lippmann \NewEntry The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it. Abbie Hoffman \NewEntry The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. Clarence Darrow \NewEntry The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important. Milo Bloom \NewEntry The fruit derived from labour is the sweetest of all pleasures. Luc de Clapiers \NewEntry The future is like heaven - everyone exalts it, but no one wants to go there now. James Baldwin \NewEntry The future will be better tomorrow. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry The genius of the American system is that through freedom we have created extraordinary results from plain ordinary people. Senator Phil Gramm \NewEntry The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice. Anonymous \NewEntry The golden rule is that there are no golden rules. George Bernard Shaw \NewEntry The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one. Adolf Hitler \NewEntry The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse. Edmund Burke \NewEntry The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one. Elbert Hubbard \NewEntry The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances. Martha Washington \NewEntry The greatest threat towards future is indifference. Anonymous \NewEntry The harder you work, the luckier you get. Gary Player \NewEntry The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain, to show them that we love them, not when we feel like it, but when they do. Nan Fairbrother \NewEntry The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic. William E Gladstone \NewEntry The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. Anonymous \NewEntry The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century. J. Danforth Quayle \NewEntry The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity. The rest is overhead for the operating system. Anonymous \NewEntry The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain \NewEntry The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous \NewEntry The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. Mother Teresa \NewEntry The idea that 'the public interest' supersedes private interests and rights can have but one meaning: that the interests and rights of some individuals take precedence over the interests and rights of others. Ayn Rand \NewEntry The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. Henry Kissinger \NewEntry The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist. Aaron Machado \NewEntry The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein \NewEntry Th