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1. Reformatted for gjots from the original Psion files quotes.s5

from http://3lib.ukonline.co.uk/pocketinfo/index.html

by 

Bob Hepple bhepple@freeshell.org Nov 2002

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2. A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.

Carl Sandburg

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3. A bad casting call: Can't act. Can't sing. Balding. Can dance a little.

MGM exec (about Fred Astaire's screen test)

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4. A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Robert Frost

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5. A big man is one who makes us feel bigger when we are with him.

John C. Maxwell

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6. A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.

Anonymous

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7. A champion views resistance as a gift of energy.

Michael J. Gelb

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8. A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.

Herbert Prochnow

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9. A Classic is something that everyone wants to have read but nobody wants to read.

Mark Twain

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10. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Anonymous

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11. A committee is a group of the unwilling


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12. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Douglas Adams

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13. A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.

Henrik Ibsen

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14. A Conservative Government is an organised hypocrisy.

Benjamin Disraeli

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15. A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.

German Proverb

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16. A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

Mahatma Gandhi

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17. A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Oscar Wilde

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18. A day without sunshine is like night.

Anonymous

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19. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Frost

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20. A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.

Francois Sagan

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21. A failure is a man who has blundered


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22. A feature is a bug with seniority.

Anonymous

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23. A Frenchman must always be talking


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24. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Anonymous

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25. A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him


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26. A goalscorer should let fly as soon as he sees the goal.

Steve Bloomer

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27. A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.

John C. Maxwell

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28. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.

Katharine Whitehorn

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29. A good listener is not only popular everywhere


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30. A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.

Jane Fonda

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31. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

William James

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32. A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning


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33. A high-class horse could not win a race with a feather on his back if he is not in condition.

George E. Smith

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34. A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Robert Frost

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35. A law is valuable not because it is law


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36. A leader is a dealer in hope.

Napoleon Bonaparte

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37. A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go but ought to be.

Rosalynn Carter

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38. A little Government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them.

P.J. O'Rourke

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39. A little less complaint and whining


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40. A little rebellion now and then is a good thing


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41. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

J. Danforth Quayle

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42. A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good


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43. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

Zsa Zsa Garbor

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44. A man is known by the books he reads.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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45. A man is measured by the size of things that anger him.

Geof Greenleaf

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46. A man is the sum of his actions


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47. A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.

Raymond Hitchcock

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48. A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes


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49. A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car


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50. A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.

Napoleon Bonaparte

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51. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.

Benjamin Franklin

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52. A man's best friends are his ten fingers.

Robert Collyer

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53. A man's feet should be planted in his country


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54. A man's mother is his misfortune


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55. A metaphor is like a simile.

Anonymous

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56. A nuclear power plant is infinitely safer than eating


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57. A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

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58. A plausible impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Aristotle

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59. A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

H. L. Mencken

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60. A poor life this if


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61. A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.

James A. Garfield

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62. A precedent embalms a principle.

Benjamin Disraeli

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63. A religion is a heresy with an adequate army.

Cariadoc

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64. A rolling stone gathers momentum.

Anonymous

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65. A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

Donald R. Perry Marquis

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66. A ship is always referred to as she because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder. Chester Nimitz


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67. A single death is a tragedy


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68. A single fact can spoil a good argument.

Anonymous

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69. A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.

Greek Proverb

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70. A Stanford research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3


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71. A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.

Sidney Greenberg

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72. A visionary is one who can find his way by moonlight


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73. A wise and frugal government


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74. Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.

Ronald Reagan

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75. Above all things I hope the education of the common people will be attended to


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76. Absolute liberty is absence of restraint; responsibility is restraint; therefore


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77. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.

William James

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78. Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good


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79. Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake


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80. Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

Saki H.H. Munro

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81. Advice to persons about to marry. Don't.

Punch

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82. After you've done a thing the same way for two years


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83. Again and again


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84. Alcohol is a very necessary article....It makes life bearable for millions of people who could not endure it's existence if they were quite sober.

George Bernard Shaw

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85. All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

George Orwell

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86. All colours will agree in the dark.

Francis Bacon

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87. All easy problems have already been solved.

Anonymous

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88. All government


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89. All life's answers are on TV.

Homer Simpson

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90. All mankind loves a lover.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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91. All men are liable to error; and most men are


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92. All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear


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93. All men think all men are mortal but themselves.

Edward Young

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94. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

Maurice Maeterlinck

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95. All right


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96. All the things I really like to do are either illegal


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97. All this buttoning and unbuttoning.

Eighteenth Century suicide note

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98. All we are saying is give peace a chance.

John Lennon

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99. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

Oscar Wilde

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100. All you have to do to protect yourself from radiation is to go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath.

David Miller

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101. Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

Mark Twain

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102. Always be a little kinder than necessary.

James M. Barrie

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103. Always be nice to those younger than you


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104. Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back.

Anonymous

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105. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

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106. Always do what you are afraid to do.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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107. Always go to other people's funerals


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108. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done


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109. Always question. Always analyse. But in the end


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110. Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.

Anonymous

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111. America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation.

Georges Clemenceau

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112. America's abundance was not created by public sacrifices to Šthe common good


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113. Americans have different ways of saying things. They say elevator


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114. Americans


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115. An aristocracy in a republic is like a chicken whose head has been cut off; it may run about in a lively way


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116. An armed society is a polite society.

Anonymous

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117. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Laurence J. Peter

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118. An Englishman


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119. An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made


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120. An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.

Anonymous

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121. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.

Nicholas Murray Butler

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122. An expert is a person who avoids small error as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.

Benjamin Stolberg

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123. An honest politician is one who


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124. An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.

Donald R. Perry Marquis

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125. An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.

John Junor

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126. Anarchy may not be the best form of government


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127. And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.) Dave Barry


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128. And now the sequence of events in particular order.

Dan Rather

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129. And


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130. And so


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131. And when we think we lead


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132. Any colour - so long as it's black.

Henry Ford

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133. Any coward can sit in his home and criticise a pilot for flying into a mountain in a fog. But I would rather


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134. Any fool can tell the truth


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135. Any law that takes hold of a man's daily life cannot prevail in a community


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136. Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its opponents blame it for the drought.

Dwight Morrow

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137. Any shot that scores is a good shot.

Steve Bloomer

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138. Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Anonymous

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139. Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points


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140. Anyone can count the seeds in an apple. No one can count the apples in a seed.

Anonymous

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141. Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.

Al Capp

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142. Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.

Leonardo Da Vinci

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143. Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

Samuel Goldwyn

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144. Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.

Edward R. Murrow

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145. Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate.

Anonymous

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146. Anything is possible. I have seen Bestie refuse a drink and I've seen Emlyn Hughes buy one.

Alan Ball

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147. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.

Anonymous

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148. Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Anonymous

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149. Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies.

Anonymous

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150. As a general rule


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151. As a mother


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152. As a rule


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153. As long as people will accept crap


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154. As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

Josh Billings

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155. As of 1992


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156. As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.

Hagar the Horrible

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157. Ask a man which way he is going to vote


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158. Asking Šwho ought to be the boss' is like asking Šwho ought to be the tenor in the quartet?' Obviously


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159. Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.

George Bernard Shaw

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160. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

George Jean Nathan

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161. Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.

Mel Brooks

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162. Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.

Yogi Berra

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163. Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.

Aesop

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164. Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most.

Anonymous

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165. Be like a duck. Calm on the surface


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166. Be polite to all


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167. Be smarter than other people


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168. Be wisely worldly


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169. Beauty is only skin deep


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170. Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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171. Because everyone uses language to talk


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172. Because just as good morals


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173. Before God we are equally wise - and equally foolish.

Albert Einstein

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174. Before you kill something make sure you have something better to replace it with; something better than political opportunist slamming hate horse shit in the public park.

Charles Bukowski

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175. Beginning today


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176. Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are


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177. Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

Andr Gide

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178. Better an ounce of luck than a pound of gold.

Yiddish Proverb

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179. Better by far you should forget and smile that you should remember and be sad.

Christina Rossetti

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180. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln

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181. Between two evils


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182. Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.

Anonymous

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183. Bite the wax tadpole.

Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese

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184. Bobby Knight told me this: ``There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offence.'' In other words a good offence wins.

J. Danforth Quayle

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185. Boys will be boys


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186. Brain researchers estimate that your unconscious data base outweighs the conscious on an order exceeding ten million to one. This data base is the source of you hidden


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187. Brevity is the best recommendation of speech


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188. Brevity is the soul of wit.

William Shakespeare

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189. Bumper sticker: Auntie Em: Hate you


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190. Bumper sticker: DANGER! I drive like you do.

Anonymous

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191. Business is like a wheelbarrow. Nothing ever happens until you start pushing.

Anonymous

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192. But I'm not so think as you drunk I am.

Sir J. C. Squire

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193. By and large


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194. By the time you say you're his


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195. By swallowing evil words unsaid


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196. Call it what you will


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197. Can God write a check for a sum so large that he can't cover it? I can. If God can't


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198. Can heresy itself be a legitimate religion?

Nilakantha the Simple

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199. Censorship


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200. Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure


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201. Chance favours the prepared mind.

Louis Pasteur

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202. Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.

James A. Michener

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203. Character is doing what's right when nobody's looking.

J.C. Watts

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204. Character is much easier kept than recovered.

Thomas Paine

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205. Character is power.

Booker T. Washington

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206. Checks and balances does not mean writing the checks while ignoring the balances.

Anonymous

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207. Cheer up! The worst is yet to come!

Philander Chase Johnson

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208. Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Anonymous

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209. Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?

Jules Feiffer

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210. Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theatre.

Roman Polanski

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211. Class has a sense of humour. It knows that a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations. Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes. Class bespeaks an aristocracy unrelated to ancestors or

Ann Landers

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212. Class is how you treat people who can do nothing for you.

Geof Greenleaf

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213. Clone


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214. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Mark Twain

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215. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

Anonymous

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216. College isn't the place to go for ideas.

Hellen Keller

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217. Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett

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218. Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.

Samuel Coleridge

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219. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Albert Einstein

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220. Computer : a million morons working at the speed of light.

David Ferrier

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221. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Anonymous

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222. Computers can figure out all kinds of problems


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223. Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job will cost.

Anonymous

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224. Condense soup


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225. Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favourable do nothing.

William Feather

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226. Confusion is the welcome mat at the door of creativity.

Michael J. Gelb

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227. Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

H. L. Mencken

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228. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Anonymous

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229. Conscious is when you are aware of something


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230. Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

George Mikes

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231. Conversation is one of the greatest pleasures of life. But it wants leisure.

W. Somerset Maugham

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232. Copy from one


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233. Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.

General George S. Patton

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234. Courage is grace under pressure.

Ernest Hemingway

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235. Courage is resistance to fear


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236. Crazy people who are productive are geniuses. Crazy people who are rich are eccentric. Crazy people who are neither productive nor rich are just plain crazy. Geniuses and crazy people are both out in the middle of a deep ocean; geniuses swim


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237. Crime does not pay... as well as politics.

A.E. Newman

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238. Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word


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239. Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Laurance Peter

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240. Democracy is mob rule


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241. Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will


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242. Destiny is not a matter of chance


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243. Did you ever expect a corporation to have a conscience


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244. Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.

Wendell Phillips

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245. Diligence is the mother of good luck.

Benjamin Franklin

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246. Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice Doggie! till you can find a rock. Wynn Catlin


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247. Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war


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248. Do I not like that !

Graham Taylor

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249. Do not follow where the path may lead....go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Anonymous

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250. Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.

Vincent van Gogh

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251. Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

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252. Do you know what I like about the Irish team ? They are the only team to who come off at the end of the game and ask Who won ?. Spike Milligan


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253. Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Steven Wright

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254. Do your damnedest in an ostentatious manner all the time.

General George S. Patton

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255. Dogs come when they are called. Cats have answering machines and may get back to you.

Anonymous

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256. Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius.

Henri-Frederic Amiel

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257. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Ann Landers

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258. Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison


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259. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Mark Twain

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260. Don't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

Anonymous

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261. Don't let school interfere with your education.

Mark Twain

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262. Don't Panic.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

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263. Dorothy MacMillian: ˘What are you looking forward to now ?÷ Madame de Gualle: ˘A penis÷ General de Gualle: ˘My dear


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264. Doubt is not a pleasant condition


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265. Doubt is uncomfortable


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266. Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.

Alfred Hitchcock

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267. Drawing on my fine command of language


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268. Due to budgetary restraints


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269. Eagles don't flock - you have to find them one at a time.

H. Ross Perot

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270. Economics is war pursued by other means.

Raymond F. DeVoe Jr.

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271. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

Laurance Peter

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272. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Will Duran

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273. Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self confidence.

Robert Frost

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274. Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

Nelson Mandela

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275. Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.

B. F. Skinner

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276. Education makes people easy to lead


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277. Employ thy time well


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278. England and America are two countries divided by a common language.

George Bernard Shaw

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279. Eschew obfuscation.

Anonymous

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280. Even if you're on the right track


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281. Every absurdity has a champion to defend it


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282. Every great mistake has a half-way moment


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283. Every man I meet is in some way my superior.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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284. Every man is dishonest who lives upon the labour of others


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285. Every revolutionary idea - in science


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286. Every time history repeats itself the price goes up.

Anonymous

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287. Every woman should marry - and no man.

Benjamin Disraeli

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288. Everybody wants to go to heaven


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289. Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill

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290. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

Will Rogers

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291. Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom.

Albert Einstein

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292. Everything's in the mind. That's where it all starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.

Mae West

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293. Evil will always triumph


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294. Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared


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295. Excellence in any department can be attained only by the labour of a lifetime; it is not to be purchased at a lesser price.

Samuel Johnson

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296. Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.

W. Somerset Maugham

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297. Excuses are like assholes


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298. Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.

Alice Walker

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299. Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.

Arnold Glasow

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300. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

Dennis Wholey

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301. Expenditure rises to meet income.

C. Northcote Parkinson

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302. Experience is a dear teacher


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303. Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.

Aldous Huxley

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304. Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes.

Oscar Wilde

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305. Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes


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306. Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Aldous Huxley

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307. Failing doesn't make you a failure. Giving up


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308. Failing organisations are usually over-managed and under-led.

Warren G. Bennis

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309. Failure is only postponed success as long as courage coaches ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory. Herbert Kaufman


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310. Failure is the opportunity to begin again


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311. Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move.

Anonymous

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312. Far better is it to dare mighty things


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313. Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them.

Robert Green Ingersoll

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314. Fidelity purchased with money


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315. Fight for your opinions


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316. Fight organized crime: stamp out the IRS.

Anonymous

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317. Figures won't lie


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318. Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. H. Jackson Brown


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319. Find expression for a sorrow and it will become dear to you. Find expression for a joy


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320. Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.

Katherine Whitehorn

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321. First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity: no really self-respecting woman would take advantage of it.

George Bernard Shaw

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322. Football is the fourth most popular sport in America after American Football


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323. For centuries


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324. For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex ...uh...setbacks.

George Bush

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325. For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.

William Ross Wallace

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326. For NASA


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327. Forgive your enemies


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328. Form is transitory


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329. Frank doesn't have to fight in January. There are 12 other months in the year.

Mickey Duff

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330. Frank O'Conner grows on you


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331. Free people


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332. Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.

J. Krishnamurti

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333. Freedom is being able to live with the consequences of your decisions.

James X. Mullen

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334. Friendship is like money


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335. From each according to his abilities


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336. From the moment I picked it until the moment I laid it down


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337. Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Wilson Mizner

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338. Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience.

George-Louis De Buffon

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339. Genius is one per cent inspiration


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340. Genius may have its limitations


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341. Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it


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342. Get your facts first


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343. Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

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344. Give me control over a nation's currency


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345. Give me six lines written by the most honourable of men


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346. Give us the luxuries of life and we'll dispense with the necessaries.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

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347. Given a choice between two theories


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348. Go peacefully amongst the things. Edwina (Eddie) on ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS


Contents


349. Go to Heaven for the climate


Contents


350. God has been replaced


Contents


351. God


Contents


352. Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Mark Twain

Contents


353. Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee


Contents


354. Good executives never put off until tomorrow what they can get someone else to do today.

John C. Maxwell

Contents


355. Good government generally begins in the family


Contents


356. Good judgement comes from experience


Contents


357. Good leaders must first become good servants.

Robert Greenleaf

Contents


358. Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success.

Anonymous

Contents


359. Good order is the foundation of all things.

Edmund Burke

Contents


360. Good taste is better than bad taste


Contents


361. Goodwill and artillery will get you more than goodwill alone anytime.

Anonymous

Contents


362. Government cannot make us equal; it can only recognise


Contents


363. Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

Ronald Reagan

Contents


364. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves


Contents


365. Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.

Herodotus

Contents


366. Great is the art of beginning


Contents


367. Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree.

Ezra Pound

Contents


368. Guidelines for bureaucrats: When in charge; ponder; When in trouble; delegate; When in doubt; mumble.

James H. Boren

Contents


369. Gun control is hitting your target.

Andrew Beal

Contents


370. Guns are always the best method for a private suicide. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time.

P. J. O'Rourke

Contents


371. Half of the people in the world are below average.

Anonymous

Contents


372. Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get


Contents


373. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Jeff Pesis

Contents


374. Hartley's Second Law: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

Anonymous

Contents


375. Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


376. Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a - it is different than the other 49 states. Well


Contents


377. He didn't say that. He read what was given to him in a speech.

Richard Darman on George Bush

Contents


378. Happy campers you have been


Contents


379. He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.

Cicero

Contents


380. He first deceased; She for a little tried. To live without him; Liked it not


Contents


381. He found it inconvenient to be poor.

William Cowper

Contents


382. He has achieved success who has worked well


Contents


383. He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.

Anonymous

Contents


384. He laughs best who laughs last.

English Proverb

Contents


385. He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

Benjamin Franklin

Contents


386. He that hath a trade hath an estate; he that hath a calling hath an office of profit and honour.

Benjamin Franklin

Contents


387. He who asks is a fool for five minutes


Contents


388. He who hesitates is not only lost


Contents


389. He who loses control


Contents


390. He who opens a school door


Contents


391. He who talks much cannot talk well.

Carlo Goldoni

Contents


392. He's going to chance his arm with his left foot.

Trevor Brooking

Contents


393. He's still green behind the ears.

Congressman Cederberg of Michigan referring to a young attorney

Contents


394. Here lies a man who knew how to enlist the service of better men than himself.

Tombstone of Andrew Carnegie

Contents


395. Heresy is another word for freedom of thought.

Graham Greene

Contents


396. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

Billy Wilder

Contents


397. Hindsight is an exact science.

Anonymous

Contents


398. His doubts are better than most people's certainties.

Earl of Hardwicke

Contents


399. History is more or less bunk.

Henry Ford

Contents


400. History is not going to be kind to liberals. With their mindless programs


Contents


401. History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Contents


402. History suggests that Capitalism is a necessary condition for political freedom.

Milton Friedman

Contents


403. History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Abba Eban

Contents


404. Hitch your wagon to a star.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


405. Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


406. Hope is a good breakfast


Contents


407. Horses just naturally have mohawk haircuts.

Anonymous

Contents


408. How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?

Anonymous

Contents


409. How do you tell a communist? Well


Contents


410. How noble the law


Contents


411. How to store your baby walker: First


Contents


412. Humour is the shortest distance between two people.

Victor Borge

Contents


413. I am a great believer in luck


Contents


414. I am a jelly doughnut

English translation of John F. Kennedy speaking at the Berlin Wall

Contents


415. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W.C. Fields

Contents


416. I am honoured today to begin my first term as the Governor of Baltimore - that is Maryland. William Donald Schaefer


Contents


417. I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


418. I am not wanting to make too long speech tonight as I am knowing your old English saying


Contents


419. I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything


Contents


420. I am providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raisedÓ

Marion Barry Jr

Contents


421. I am ready to meet my maker


Contents


422. I am responsible only to God and history.

Francisco Franco

Contents


423. I am very patriotic. I've committed one crime in my life. John Walker


Contents


424. I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor

Contents


425. I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?

Jean Cocteau

Contents


426. I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.

H. L. Mencken

Contents


427. I believe in unions and I believe in non-unions.

George Bush

Contents


428. I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


429. I came


Contents


430. I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

Wilson Mizner

Contents


431. I cannot be fired. Slaves have to be sold.

Anonymous

Contents


432. I cannot give you the formula for success


Contents


433. I cannot live without books.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


434. I conceive that a knowledge of books is the basis on which all other knowledge rests.

George Washington

Contents


435. I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

Steven Wright

Contents


436. I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake. J. Danforth Quayle


Contents


437. I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.

Abraham Lincoln

Contents


438. I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Mark Twain

Contents


439. I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm jut here for the drugs.

Nancy Reagan

Contents


440. I disapprove of what you say


Contents


441. I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


442. I do not mind lying


Contents


443. I do not think that winning is the most important thing. I think it is the only thing.

Bill Veeck

Contents


444. I don't have to practice what I preach 'cause I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to!

The Book of The Subgenius

Contents


445. I don't know the key to success


Contents


446. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

Contents


447. I don't believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights


Contents


448. I don't even know what street Canada is on.

Al Capone

Contents


449. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen

Contents


450. I either want less corruption


Contents


451. I favour the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.

Ronald Reagan

Contents


452. I feel sorry for Cupid's mother. How'd you like to try to toilet-train an armed kid who can fly?

Anonymous

Contents


453. I forget what I was taught. I only remember what I've learnt.

Patrick White

Contents


454. I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.

John Locke

Contents


455. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life


Contents


456. I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

Harry S. Truman

Contents


457. I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Fred Allen

Contents


458. I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


459. I have often regretted my speech


Contents


460. I have one great fear in my heart


Contents


461. I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Oscar Wilde

Contents


462. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

Steven Wright

Contents


463. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Confucius

Contents


464. I hold it true


Contents


465. I hope I stand for anti-bigotry


Contents


466. I hope the referee's next crap is a hedgehog.

Mick McCarthy

Contents


467. I keep seeing lousy films and saying to myself


Contents


468. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought


Contents


469. I know that's a secret


Contents


470. I like a man who grins when he fights.

Sir Winston Churchill

Contents


471. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill

Contents


472. I like the silent church before the service begins


Contents


473. I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything


Contents


474. I like to give home-made gifts. Which one of the kids would you like?

Anonymous

Contents


475. I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation.

Samuel Osgood

Contents


476. I love Americans


Contents


477. I love California


Contents


478. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Douglas Adams

Contents


479. I may argue with my brother


Contents


480. I mean to live my life an obedient man


Contents


481. I never deny


Contents


482. I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.

Henry Ward Beecher

Contents


483. I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever


Contents


484. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

Albert Einstein

Contents


485. I place economy among the first and important virtues


Contents


486. I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process.

Benjamin Harrison

Contents


487. I sincerely believe... that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity under the name of funding is but swindling futurity on a large scale.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


488. I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


489. I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders


Contents


490. I still miss my ex-wife


Contents


491. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Anonymous

Contents


492. I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Contents


493. I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Jerry Seinfeld

Contents


494. I think that


Contents


495. I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary


Contents


496. I think


Contents


497. I think


Contents


498. I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job George Bush


Contents


499. I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session.

Gib Lewis

Contents


500. I want you to take your balls in your hand and bounce them on the floor and then throw them as high as you can. Now


Contents


501. I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said


Contents


502. I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.

Mark Twain

Contents


503. I was never less alone than when by myself.

Edward Gibbon

Contents


504. I was recently on a tour of Latin America


Contents


505. I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So


Contents


506. I will have no man work for me who has not the capacity to become a partner.

J.C. Penney

Contents


507. I wish it were possible to obtain a single amendment to our Constitution. I would be willing to depend on that alone for the reduction of the administration of our government; I mean an additional article taking from the Federal Government the power of bo

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


508. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Groucho Marx

Contents


509. I would bet that the Great San Francisco Glaucoma Epidemic of 1992 will be one for the history books.

Alan Furman

Contents


510. I would have made a good pope.

Richard Nixon

Contents


511. I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Ronald Reagan

Contents


512. I would like to express my sympathy to all those impacted by this disaster.

J. Danforth Quayle standing in front of the collapsed section of highway caused by the Loma Prieta quake.

Contents


513. I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


514. I would rather belong to a poor nation that was free than to a rich nation that had ceased to be in love with liberty.

Woodrow Wilson

Contents


515. I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.

John Keats

Contents


516. I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Anonymous

Contents


517. I'd rather live nowhere than in the suburbs of nowhere.

Lara Bliss

Contents


518. I'll get a life as soon as I can find the FTP site.

Anonymous

Contents


519. I'm enclosing a few densely written and colourfully printed sheets about the program


Contents


520. I'm hard-nosed about luck. I think it sucks. Yeah


Contents


521. I'm in favour of legalising drugs. According to my values system


Contents


522. I'm not against the blacks and a lot of the good blacks will attest to that. Evan Mecham


Contents


523. I'm so na┤ve about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realised I didn't understand


Contents


524. I'm the consul for information


Contents


525. I've got a mind like a...what's that thing called that you use to strain spaghetti?

Anonymous

Contents


526. If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for


Contents


527. If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover


Contents


528. If a tree falls on a laboratory mouse


Contents


529. If all economists were laid end to end


Contents


530. If all men knew what others say of them


Contents


531. If all you have is a hammer


Contents


532. If anything goes bad


Contents


533. If at first you don't succeed


Contents


534. If God wanted me to touch my toes


Contents


535. If I ever needed a brain transplant


Contents


536. If I have a thousand ideas and only one turns out to be good


Contents


537. If I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough I would be convinced that we're in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed.

Ronald Reagan

Contents


538. If ignorance is bliss


Contents


539. If it ain't broke


Contents


540. If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind


Contents


541. If one man can be allowed to determine for himself what is law


Contents


542. If people really liked to work


Contents


543. If the blind lead the blind


Contents


544. If the car industry behaved like the computer industry over the last 30 years


Contents


545. If the children are untaught


Contents


546. If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough


Contents


547. If the human brain were so simple we could understand it


Contents


548. If the odds are a million to one against something occurring


Contents


549. If there is anything better than to be loved it is loving.

Anonymous

Contents


550. If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad


Contents


551. If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualise world peace for an hour


Contents


552. If we desire respect for the law


Contents


553. If we don't succeed


Contents


554. If you are never scared or embarrassed or hurt


Contents


555. If you are sure you understand everything that is going on


Contents


556. If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event


Contents


557. If you can count your money you don't have a billion dollars.

J. Paul Getty

Contents


558. If you can't stand the heat


Contents


559. If you can't convince them


Contents


560. If you could have a large sum of money


Contents


561. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble


Contents


562. If you don't make mistakes


Contents


563. If you hear an onion ring


Contents


564. If you judge poeple


Contents


565. If you like laws and sausages


Contents


566. If you love something


Contents


567. If you see a snake


Contents


568. If you sit down and don't see a fish at the table


Contents


569. If you think education is expensive


Contents


570. If you think nobody cares if you're alive


Contents


571. If you think you can


Contents


572. If you want to get a good idea


Contents


573. If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. John D. Rockefeller


Contents


574. If you want to succeed


Contents


575. If you were asked a hypothetical question


Contents


576. If you will tell me why the fen appears impassable


Contents


577. If you wish to be a success in the world


Contents


578. If you're not part of the solution


Contents


579. If


Contents


580. Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Robert Orben

Contents


581. Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


582. Imagination is more important than knowledge


Contents


583. If a free society cannot help the many who are poor


Contents


584. If it is to be


Contents


585. In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Laurence Peter

Contents


586. In a survey taken several years ago


Contents


587. In a way


Contents


588. In a world of private property


Contents


589. In all forms of government the people is the true legislator.

Edmund Burke

Contents


590. In an Orkin Exterminating Co. survey of what pests Pittsburghers fear most


Contents


591. In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.

Idi Amin Dada

Contents


592. In baiting a mouse-trap with cheese


Contents


593. In California


Contents


594. In case of fire


Contents


595. In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country


Contents


596. In every country and every age


Contents


597. In pioneer days they used oxen for heavy pulling


Contents


598. In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Contents


599. In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence.

Cesar Chavez

Contents


600. In the fight between you and the world


Contents


601. In the great mass of our people there are plenty individuals of intelligence from among whom leadership can be recruited.

Herbert Hoover

Contents


602. In the long run we are all dead.

John Maynard Keynes

Contents


603. In theory


Contents


604. In this theatre of man's life


Contents


605. In this world


Contents


606. In time of war the first casualty is truth.

Boake Carter

Contents


607. In times like these


Contents


608. In war there is no substitute for victory.

General Douglas MacArthur

Contents


609. In years to come the phrase tight as Graham's Arsenal may replace the present colourful colloquialism describing someone reluctant to part with money. Paul Johnson


Contents


610. Include the success of others in your dreams for your own success.

Anonymous

Contents


611. Infinite patience brings immediate results.

Wayne Dyer

Contents


612. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Contents


613. Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. One defends when his strength is inadequate; he attacks when it is abundant.

Sun Tzu

Contents


614. Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.

T. H. Huxley

Contents


615. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?

Friedrich Nietzsche

Contents


616. Is the glass half empty


Contents


617. Is the word spec short for specification


Contents


618. Is tired old clich┌ one? Anonymous


Contents


619. It behoves every man who values liberty of conscience for himself


Contents


620. It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white


Contents


621. It is a bad plan that admits of no modification.

Publiius Syrus

Contents


622. It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Contents


623. It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.

Sir Winston Churchill

Contents


624. It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability.

Ed La Rochfoucould

Contents


625. It is a sin to believe evil of others


Contents


626. It is always the best policy to tell the truth


Contents


627. It is amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit.

John Wooden

Contents


628. It is amazing how much people can get done if they do not worry about who gets the credit.

Sandra Swinney

Contents


629. It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

Harry S. Truman

Contents


630. It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.

Arthur Calwell

Contents


631. It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes


Contents


632. It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!

Emiliano Zapata

Contents


633. It is better to wear out than to rust out.

Richard Cumberland

Contents


634. It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Rod Serling

Contents


635. It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Alfred Adler

Contents


636. It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

Henry Louis Mencken

Contents


637. It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Mark Twain

Contents


638. It is good to be without vices


Contents


639. It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


640. It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.

Niccolč Machiavelli

Contents


641. It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.

Seneca

Contents


642. It is not enough for a handful of experts to attempt the solution of a problem


Contents


643. It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.

Francis M. Voltaire

Contents


644. It is not the critic who counts


Contents


645. It is not true that life is one damn thing after another...It's one damn thing over and over.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

Contents


646. It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


647. It is only through labour and painful effort


Contents


648. It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

Clive James

Contents


649. It is said that God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions.

Francis M. Voltaire

Contents


650. It is the fight alone that pleases us


Contents


651. It is the mark of an inexperienced man not to believe in luck.

Joseph Conrad

Contents


652. It is the spirit and not the form of law that keeps justice alive.

Justice Earl Warren

Contents


653. It is true that liberty is precious - so precious that it must be rationed.

Nikolai Lenin

Contents


654. It is well that war is so terrible


Contents


655. It is what you learn after you know it all that counts.

John Wooden

Contents


656. It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


657. It isn't the fact that the cats like to hang around while sex is going on that annoys me: it's those little score cards they hold up afterwards.

Folo

Contents


658. It isn't the incompetent who destroys an organisation. The incompetent never gets in a position to destroy it. It is those who have achieved something and want to rest upon their achievements who are forever clogging things up.

F.M. Young

Contents


659. It isn't the people you fire who make your life miserable


Contents


660. It isn't what they say about you


Contents


661. It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.

Arthur C. Clarke

Contents


662. It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Anonymous

Contents


663. It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday


Contents


664. It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant. Perdue chicken ad


Contents


665. It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.

Eddie Cantor

Contents


666. It was one of the things I was always going to take care of


Contents


667. It was only after their population of fifty mysteriously shrank to eight that the other seven dwarfs began to suspect Hungry.

Anonymous

Contents


668. It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology


Contents


669. It's a small world


Contents


670. It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs.

David Coleman

Contents


671. It's a tale of two systems


Contents


672. It's a very valuable function and requirement that you're performing


Contents


673. It's a well known fact that computing devices such as the abacus were invented thousands of years ago. But it's not well known that the first use of a common computer protocol occurred in the Old Testament. This


Contents


674. It's bad manners to apply cosmetics in public. It reminds people you need them...

P.J. O'Rourke

Contents


675. It's deja vu all over again.

Yogi Berra

Contents


676. It's evolution


Contents


677. It's great to be great but it's greater to be human.

William Rogers

Contents


678. It's hard to make a program foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Anonymous

Contents


679. It's hard to seize the day when you first have to grapple with the morning.

Anonymous

Contents


680. It's national clean-off-your-desk day. I think I found Elvis.

Anonymous

Contents


681. It's not that I object to people re-inventing the wheel; what gets to me is watching them re-invent the flat tire.

Todric

Contents


682. It's not what we don't know that hurts us


Contents


683. It's not your blue blood


Contents


684. It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

Tallulah Bankhead

Contents


685. It's the good loser who finally loses out.

Kin Hubbard

Contents


686. [It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


687. It's tough to make predictions


Contents


688. It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

Earl Weaver

Contents


689. Jaw


Contents


690. Jenny kissed me when we met


Contents


691. John Barrymore: you should play Hamlet. Jimmy Durante: To hell with them small towns. I'll stick to New York.


Contents


692. John Hollins has a very strong wife. It might have been better if I'd made her manager.

Ken Bates

Contents


693. Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Anonymous

Contents


694. Justice is incidental to law and order.

J. Edgar Hoover

Contents


695. Keep a stiff upper chin.

Samuel Goldwyn

Contents


696. Keep your head and your heart going in the right direction and you will not have to worry about your feet.

Anonymous

Contents


697. Kites rise highest against the wind; not with it.

Sir Winston Churchill

Contents


698. Knock


Contents


699. Labour is man's greatest function. He is nothing


Contents


700. Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability.

Flower A. Newhouse

Contents


701. Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone


Contents


702. Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


703. Language is only the instrument of science


Contents


704. Language is the armoury of the human mind


Contents


705. Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Contents


706. Language is the dress of thought.

Samuel Johnson

Contents


707. Last night I dreamed I had insomnia. I woke up exhausted


Contents


708. Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

Victor Hugo

Contents


709. Laughter is the tonic


Contents


710. Laws that do not embody public opinion can never be enforced.

Elbert Hubbard

Contents


711. Laws were made to be broken.

Christopher North

Contents


712. Lead me


Contents


713. Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

Sam Levenson

Contents


714. Leaders get out in front and stay there by raising the standards by which they judge themselves - and by which they are willing to be judged.

Fredrick Smith

Contents


715. Leaders who win the respect of others are the ones who deliver more than they promise


Contents


716. Leadership is influence.

John C. Maxwell

Contents


717. Leadership is the other side of the coin of loneliness


Contents


718. Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Contents


719. Learn and think imperially.

Joseph Chamberlian

Contents


720. Learn to say Šno' to the good so you can say Šyes' to the best.

John C. Maxwell

Contents


721. Legislators represent people


Contents


722. Leisure is a beautiful garment


Contents


723. Leisure is the mother of philosophy.

Thomas Hobbes

Contents


724. Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night.

George Allen

Contents


725. Let every nation know


Contents


726. Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is


Contents


727. Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity.

Louis Pasteur

Contents


728. Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

Mark Twain

Contents


729. Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Mark Twain

Contents


730. Liberty can not be preserved without a general knowledge among the people.

John Adams

Contents


731. Liberty consists in wholesome restraint.

Daniel Webster

Contents


732. Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

Will Rogers

Contents


733. Liberty is always dangerous


Contents


734. Liberty is the only thing you can't have unless you give it to others.

William Allen White

Contents


735. Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

George Bernard Shaw

Contents


736. Liberty


Contents


737. Life is 10% what you make it


Contents


738. Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving.

Michael J. Gelb

Contents


739. Life is a dead-end street.

H. L. Mencken

Contents


740. Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns. Charles Feidelson


Contents


741. Life is a tragedy for those who feel


Contents


742. Life is just one damned thing after another.

Elbert Hubbard

Contents


743. Life is like a cash register


Contents


744. Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute


Contents


745. Life is not worth living unless you have a choice of all the gloriously unhygienic things that mankind - especially the French portion of it - has lovingly created.

HRH Prince Charles

Contents


746. Life is the acceptance of responsibilities or their evasion


Contents


747. Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.

Samuel Butler

Contents


748. Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Contents


749. Life is the continuous adjustment of internal relations to external relations.

Herbert Spencer

Contents


750. Life must be lived as play.

Plato

Contents


751. Life was simple before World War II. After that


Contents


752. Life


Contents


753. Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual.

Anonymous

Contents


754. Light is the first of painters. There is no object so foul that intense light will not make it beautiful.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


755. Light is the symbol of truth.

James Russell Lowell

Contents


756. Like winter snow on summer lawn


Contents


757. Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.

David Lodge

Contents


758. Literature is news that stays news.

Ezra Pound

Contents


759. Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice.

Cyril Connolly

Contents


760. Literature is the immortality of speech.

August Wilhelm von Schlegel

Contents


761. Literature is the orchestration of platitudes.

Thornton Wilder

Contents


762. Live the questions.

Rilke

Contents


763. Logic is neither a science nor an art


Contents


764. Logic is the anatomy of thought.

John Locke

Contents


765. Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.

Joseph Wood Krutch

Contents


766. Logic


Contents


767. Logic: an instrument used for bolstering a prejudice.

Elbert Hubbard

Contents


768. Looking for enlightenment is like looking for a flashlight when all you need the flashlight for is to find the flashlight.

Lew Welch

Contents


769. Loquacity and lying are cousins.

German Proverb

Contents


770. Lord


Contents


771. Lose an hour in the morning


Contents


772. Love built on beauty


Contents


773. Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.

Antoine de Saint-Exup┌ry

Contents


774. Love gives itself; it is not bought.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Contents


775. Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.

Francis M. Voltaire

Contents


776. Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over


Contents


777. Love is


Contents


778. Love is an act of endless forgiveness


Contents


779. Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

Lynda Barry

Contents


780. Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Robert Frost

Contents


781. Love is not blind - it sees more


Contents


782. Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.

Iris Murdoch

Contents


783. Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

W. Somerset Maugham

Contents


784. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

H. L. Mencken

Contents


785. Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young


Contents


786. Love: the delusion that one woman differs from another.

H. L. Mencken

Contents


787. Love's like the measles


Contents


788. Loyalty ... is a realisation that America was born of revolt


Contents


789. Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.

Woodrow Wilson

Contents


790. Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

Mark Twain

Contents


791. Luck is the residue of design.

Branch Rickey

Contents


792. Luxury is the first


Contents


793. Luxury may possibly contribute to give bread to the poor; but if there were no luxury


Contents


794. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Anonymous

Contents


795. Make voyages! Attempt them...there's nothing else.

Tennessee Williams

Contents


796. Man does not live by words alone


Contents


797. Man is not logical and his intellectual history is a record of mental reserves and compromises. He hangs on to what he can in his old beliefs even when he is compelled to surrender their logical basis.

John Dewey

Contents


798. Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

Mark Twain

Contents


799. Man will occasionally stumble over the truth


Contents


800. Man's mind


Contents


801. Mankind must put an end to war


Contents


802. Many times I find myself in a comfortable position - and I don't feel happy about it. It is...an enormous desire to go further


Contents


803. Marriage


Contents


804. Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun


Contents


805. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Anonymous

Contents


806. May fortune favour the foolish.

Captain James T. Kirk

Contents


807. May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world. The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.[Not a beacon of literacy


Contents


808. May you live all the days of your life.

Jonathan Swift

Contents


809. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Aldous Huxley

Contents


810. Meat is murder. Fish is justifiable ichthyocide. Ken Johnson


Contents


811. Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself


Contents


812. Men and women


Contents


813. Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have lies in this; when I have a subject in hand


Contents


814. Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar


Contents


815. Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Contents


816. Men use thought only as authority for their injustice


Contents


817. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Susan Ertz

Contents


818. Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

Anonymous

Contents


819. Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Anonymous

Contents


820. Mistress (n): something which fits between a mister and a mattress.

Joe Lewis

Contents


821. Money is better than poverty


Contents


822. More irregular verbs: I address the issues


Contents


823. Mortal as I am


Contents


824. Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.

Aldous Huxley

Contents


825. Most of the luxuries


Contents


826. Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Abraham Lincoln

Contents


827. Most people who succeed n the face of seemingly impossible conditions are people who simply don't know how to quit.

Robert Schuller

Contents


828. Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.

Frank Zappa

Contents


829. Mr. Churchill


Contents


830. Mr. Churchill


Contents


831. Mr. Hussein


Contents


832. Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


833. My country right or wrong; when right


Contents


834. My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit


Contents


835. My desk is not messy! It's just decaying into a lower energy level faster than everyone else's.

Anonymous

Contents


836. My fellow Americans


Contents


837. My good friend Trevor Brookly...

Pele

Contents


838. My horse was in the lead coming down the homestretch


Contents


839. My house is made out of balsa wood


Contents


840. My pessimism goes to the point of suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.

Jean Rostand

Contents


841. Nearly all men can stand adversity


Contents


842. Nearly everyone is in favour of going to heaven but too many are hoping they'll live long enough to see an easing of the entrance requirements.

Anonymous

Contents


843. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Plato

Contents


844. Negotiation may cost far less than war


Contents


845. Never appeal to a man's better nature. he might not have one. Anonymous


Contents


846. Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.

Anonymous

Contents


847. Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.

Anonymous

Contents


848. Never chase a lie. Let it alone


Contents


849. Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.

Mathew Browne

Contents


850. Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.

Elbert Hubbard

Contents


851. Never fight an inanimate object.

P. J. O'Rourke

Contents


852. Never hate you enemies


Contents


853. Never have sex with anyone in the office. Always wait until you get home.

Anonymous

Contents


854. Never judge a book by its movie.

J.W. Eagan

Contents


855. Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.

Nelson Algren

Contents


856. Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.

Anonymous

Contents


857. Never sign a contract with someone whom you need to sign a contract with


Contents


858. Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

General George S. Patton

Contents


859. Next to being shot at and missed


Contents


860. Nice guys finish last.

Manager of Brooklyn Dodgers

Contents


861. Nil Carborundum Illegitimi.

Anonymous

Contents


862. Nixon has been sitting in the White House while George McGovern has been exposing himself to the people of the United States. Frank Licht


Contents


863. No arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.

Ronald Reagan

Contents


864. No evil is without its compensation. The less money


Contents


865. No fool can be silent at a feast.

Solon

Contents


866. No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce

Contents


867. No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did he would cease to be an artist.

Oscar Wilde

Contents


868. No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


869. No legacy is so rich as honesty.

William Shakespeare

Contents


870. No man is rich enough to buy back his past.

Oscar Wilde

Contents


871. No man knows what true happiness is until he gets married. By then


Contents


872. No man means all he says


Contents


873. No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself


Contents


874. No man's life


Contents


875. No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road


Contents


876. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Contents


877. No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

H. L. Mencken

Contents


878. No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.

Bertrand Russell

Contents


879. No person was ever honoured for what he received. Honour has been the reward for what he gave.

Calvin Coolidge

Contents


880. Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

Ron Nesen

Contents


881. Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.

Sydney Harris

Contents


882. Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

Joe Theismann

Contents


883. Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

Anonymous

Contents


884. None are innocent. There are only those weak enough to believe they are


Contents


885. Normal is...spending all day in a sick building with windows that don't open and a thermostat that is seasonally dysfunctional in order to make the environment consistently comfy and user-friendly for the mainframe computer.

Ellen Goodman

Contents


886. Not where I breathe


Contents


887. Note: I think it's interesting that of my five children both my fifteen year old daughter and her sixteen year old brother independently chose this as their favourite.

Anonymous

Contents


888. Nothing arouses more hope than the first four hours of a diet.

Anonymous

Contents


889. Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


890. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


891. Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men


Contents


892. Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

Martin Luther King

Contents


893. Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand


Contents


894. Nothing is more common than unfulfilled potential.

Howard Hendricks

Contents


895. Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Contents


896. Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.

Henry Ford

Contents


897. Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.

John Kenneth Galbraith

Contents


898. Nothing is so aggravating than calmness.

Oscar Wilde

Contents


899. Nothing is sufficient for the person who finds sufficiency too little.

Epicurus

Contents


900. Nothing like faecal incontinence to clear a room.

Anonymous

Contents


901. Nowadays


Contents


902. Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Kin Hubbard

Contents


903. Now


Contents


904. Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to succeed. Ronald ReaganO Lord


Contents


905. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

Anonymous

Contents


906. Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.

E. Joseph Cossman

Contents


907. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

Hannah More

Contents


908. Obviously I didn't do better than last year. But I equalled it


Contents


909. Of all the things I've lost


Contents


910. Of course the US Constitution isn't perfect


Contents


911. Often


Contents


912. Okay


Contents


913. Oh! A wondrous bird is the Pelican ! His beak holds more than his belican. He stores in his beak


Contents


914. Oh


Contents


915. Oh


Contents


916. On behalf of all of you


Contents


917. On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

George Mikes

Contents


918. On the edge of destiny


Contents


919. On the soft bed of luxury most kingdoms have expired.

Edward Young

Contents


920. On the whole human beings want to be good


Contents


921. One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.

Andr┌ Gide

Contents


922. One essential to success is that you desire be an all-obsessing one


Contents


923. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.

H. L. Mencken

Contents


924. One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.

Antonio Porchia

Contents


925. One man with courage makes a majority.

Andrew Jackson

Contents


926. One of the great arts of escaping superfluous uneasiness is to free our minds from the habit of comparing our conditions with those of life are more bountifully bestowed.

Anonymous

Contents


927. One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know.

John Kenneth Galbraith

Contents


928. One of the pleasantest things in the world is going on a journey; but I like to go by myself.

William Hazlitt

Contents


929. One ought to have a good memory when he has told a lie.

Corneille

Contents


930. One should dies proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Contents


931. One sometimes finds advice about life in the oddest places. I saw a plastic bag the other day that warned me To avoid danger of suffocation


Contents


932. One was never married


Contents


933. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president


Contents


934. Only aim to do your duty


Contents


935. Only the winners decide what were war crimes.

Gary Wills

Contents


936. Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.

Andr┌ Gide

Contents


937. Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

Robert F. Kennedy

Contents


938. Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

T.S. Eliot

Contents


939. Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence.

Hebrew Proverb

Contents


940. Opportunity does not knock


Contents


941. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls


Contents


942. Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Sign in tailors

Contents


943. Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Laurance Peter

Contents


944. Ossie said he was the man he wanted. I don't remember him from the World Cup but I am sure he impressed me.

Alan Sugar

Contents


945. Our high respect for a well-read man is praise enough of literature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


946. Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education.

John F. Kennedy

Contents


947. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence


Contents


948. Over-seriousness is a warning sign for mediocrity and bureaucratic thinking. People who are seriously committed to mastery and high performance are secure enough to lighten up.

Michael J. Gelb

Contents


949. Patience and fortitude conquer all things.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


950. Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

Samuel Johnson

Contents


951. Peace: In international affairs


Contents


952. Peace is never a wall that separates


Contents


953. People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

Joseph F. Newton

Contents


954. People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.

John C. Maxwell

Contents


955. People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good


Contents


956. People need religion. It's a vehicle for a moral tradition. A crucial role. Nothing can take its place.

Irving Kristol

Contents


957. People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


958. People seldom know what they want until you give them what they ask for.

Anonymous

Contents


959. People who are against seats bemoan the lack of singing at Highbury but I remember 0-0 draws under Don Howe when there wasn't much singing either.

Boyd Hilton

Contents


960. People who cannot recognise a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilisation.

Agnes Repplier

Contents


961. People who know little are usually great talkers


Contents


962. People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.

Anonymous

Contents


963. Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave. Ad slogan Pepsi Comes Alive as originally translated into Chinese


Contents


964. Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right than to be responsible and wrong.

Winston Churchill

Contents


965. Petty laws breed great crimes.

Ouida

Contents


966. Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Anonymous

Contents


967. Physics isn't a religion. If it were


Contents


968. Pick battles big enough to matter


Contents


969. Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women.

Katherine Hepburn

Contents


970. Plants do not have the power of locomotion except perhaps for kudzu.

Anonymous

Contents


971. Please don't ask me what the score is


Contents


972. Please provide the date of your death.

IRS form.

Contents


973. Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.

Nikita Khruschev

Contents


974. Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards


Contents


975. Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

John Kenneth Galbraith

Contents


976. Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.

Mao Zedong

Contents


977. Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.

Richard Nixon

Contents


978. Possessions


Contents


979. Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret


Contents


980. Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Lord Acton

Contents


981. Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

J.P. McEvoy

Contents


982. Practice is the best of all instructors.

Publilius Syrus

Contents


983. Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment


Contents


984. Professor Anthony Clare: You were an only child. Do you know why? Uri Geller: My parents didn't have any other children.


Contents


985. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs


Contents


986. Proper behavior means always giving the appearance of unperturbed grace. This appearance is much easier to achieve if you really don't care about anything. This is why people always seem to be on their best behavior right before they commit suicide...

Anonymous

Contents


987. Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.

William Hazlitt

Contents


988. Prudence which degenerates into timidity is very seldom the path to safety.

Viscount Cecil

Contents


989. Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Boies Penrose

Contents


990. Public speaking is very easy.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


991. Put not your trust in princes


Contents


992. Put two or three men in positions of conflicting authority. This will force them to work at loggerheads


Contents


993. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute


Contents


994. Psychiatrists say that one out of four people is mentally ill. Check three friends; if they're OK


Contents


995. Q: How do you spell onomatopoeia? A: The way it sounds. Anonymous


Contents


996. Q: What do you get when you cross an Ethernet with an income statement? A: A local area networth.

Anonymous

Contents


997. Quite frankly


Contents


998. Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; Drugs cause cramp; Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You may as well live.

Dorothy Parker

Contents


999. Religious Views of Life: Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say


Contents


1000. Re: Neil Gaiman


Contents


1001. Reader


Contents


1002. Reading maketh a full man


Contents


1003. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.

Confucius

Contents


1004. Real poverty is less a state of income than a state of mind.

George Gilder

Contents


1005. Reason has moons


Contents


1006. Reason often makes mistakes


Contents


1007. Religion is a defense against the experience of God.

Carl Jung

Contents


1008. Religion... is the opium of the masses.

Karl Marx

Contents


1009. Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

John Carlson

Contents


1010. Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

 J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


1011. Results! Why


Contents


1012. Retraction: The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18 inch pizza and not a huge 18 inch penis


Contents


1013. Rewards and punishments are the lowest form of education.

Chuang-Tzu

Contents


1014. Rome was not implemented in a day.

Anonymous

Contents


1015. Roses are red


Contents


1016. Saint Valentine was martyred


Contents


1017. School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you.

John Updike

Contents


1018. Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings.

Helen Keller

Contents


1019. Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.

Muhammad Ali

Contents


1020. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it


Contents


1021. Sex without love is an empty experience


Contents


1022. Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices


Contents


1023. Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


1024. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.

Les Brown

Contents


1025. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man


Contents


1026. Simply the thing I am shall make me live.

William Shakespeare

Contents


1027. Sin has many tools


Contents


1028. Since when was a genius found respectable ?

Elizabeth Barret Browning

Contents


1029. ŠSir


Contents


1030. Skiing: the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.

Anonymous

Contents


1031. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Fletcher Knebel

Contents


1032. So little done


Contents


1033. So unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else.

Don Marquis

Contents


1034. Some call it evolution. And others call it God.

William H. Carruth

Contents


1035. Some men are born mediocre


Contents


1036. Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say Why not? Robert F. Kennedy


Contents


1037. Some people make things happen


Contents


1038. Some people march to the beat of a different drummer. And some people tango!

Anonymous

Contents


1039. Somehow liberals have been unable to acquire from birth what conservatives seem to be endowed with at birth: namely


Contents


1040. Something told Dorothy she wasn't in Kansas anymore. Maybe it was the colour of the sky; maybe it was the smell in the air; maybe it was the road sign that said


Contents


1041. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Sigmund Freud

Contents


1042. Sometimes democracy must be bathed in blood.

Augusto Pinochet

Contents


1043. Sorry


Contents


1044. Speaking much is a sign of vanity


Contents


1045. Spoken language is merely a series of squeaks.

Alfred North Whitehead

Contents


1046. Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides.

Margaret Thatcher

Contents


1047. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W.C. Fields

Contents


1048. Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive


Contents


1049. Status quo. Latin for the mess we're in. Anonymous


Contents


1050. Strength is a matter of the made-up mind.

John Beecher

Contents


1051. Strength lies not in defence but in attack.

Adolf Hitler

Contents


1052. Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.

George Bernard Shaw

Contents


1053. Success in marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person.

Anonymous

Contents


1054. Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.

Adolf Hitler

Contents


1055. Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Abraham Lincoln

Contents


1056. Take a breath


Contents


1057. Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.

Erica Jong

Contents


1058. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Euripides

Contents


1059. Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

Anonymous

Contents


1060. Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.

Ernie Kovacs

Contents


1061. Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. the most terrifying thing is what people do want.

Clive Barnes

Contents


1062. Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Contents


1063. That government is best which governs least.

Henry David Thoreau

Contents


1064. That government is best which governs the least


Contents


1065. That's one small step for man


Contents


1066. The academic community has in it the biggest concentration of alarmists


Contents


1067. The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


1068. The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that J. Danforth Quayle may or may not make.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


1069. The art of becoming wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

William James

Contents


1070. The avalanche has already started


Contents


1071. The basic difference between an ordinary person and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary person takes everything as a blessing or a curse.

Carlos Castaneda

Contents


1072. The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy


Contents


1073. The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done


Contents


1074. The best is the enemy of the good.

Francis M. Voltaire

Contents


1075. The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life.

William James

Contents


1076. The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.

Abraham Lincoln

Contents


1077. The Bible is not my book


Contents


1078. The big majority of Americans


Contents


1079. The breakfast of champions is not cereal


Contents


1080. The brighter you are


Contents


1081. The camera cannot lie. But it can be an accessory to untruth.

Harold Evans

Contents


1082. The car has become an item of dress without which we feel uncertain


Contents


1083. The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at. George Bush


Contents


1084. The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Contents


1085. The Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic); the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive).

W.C.Sellar & R.J.Yeatman

Contents


1086. The cheerful loser is the winner.

Elbert Hubbard

Contents


1087. The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom.

Cyril Parkinson

Contents


1088. The cook was a good cook


Contents


1089. The couple of times I've played with cornettos


Contents


1090. The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Ellen Parr

Contents


1091. The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men


Contents


1092. The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy


Contents


1093. The decline of literature indicates the decline of a nation.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Contents


1094. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.

William James

Contents


1095. The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength


Contents


1096. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen

Contents


1097. The destruction


Contents


1098. The doer alone learneth.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Contents


1099. The dwarf sees further than the giant


Contents


1100. The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

R. Buckminster Fuller

Contents


1101. The end of labour is to gain leisure.

Aristotle

Contents


1102. The English are a different race. They are never beaten because of their indestructible belief in their own superiority.

Giampiero Boniperti

Contents


1103. The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.

Oscar Wilde

Contents


1104. The extreme always seems to make an impression.

Heathers

Contents


1105. The farther back you can look


Contents


1106. The fewer the facts


Contents


1107. The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on.

Walter Lippmann

Contents


1108. The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Abbie Hoffman

Contents


1109. The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents


Contents


1110. The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.

Milo Bloom

Contents


1111. The fruit derived from labour is the sweetest of all pleasures.

Luc de Clapiers

Contents


1112. The future is like heaven - everyone exalts it


Contents


1113. The future will be better tomorrow.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


1114. The genius of the American system is that through freedom we have created extraordinary results from plain ordinary people.

Senator Phil Gramm

Contents


1115. The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.

Anonymous

Contents


1116. The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

George Bernard Shaw

Contents


1117. The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.

Adolf Hitler

Contents


1118. The greater the power


Contents


1119. The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one.

Elbert Hubbard

Contents


1120. The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions


Contents


1121. The greatest threat towards future is indifference.

Anonymous

Contents


1122. The harder you work


Contents


1123. The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection


Contents


1124. The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic.

William E Gladstone

Contents


1125. The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

Anonymous

Contents


1126. The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


1127. The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity. The rest is overhead for the operating system.

Anonymous

Contents


1128. The human race has one really effective weapon


Contents


1129. The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

Anonymous

Contents


1130. The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

Mother Teresa

Contents


1131. The idea that 'the public interest' supersedes private interests and rights can have but one meaning: that the interests and rights of some individuals take precedence over the interests and rights of others.

Ayn Rand

Contents


1132. The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

Henry Kissinger

Contents


1133. The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.

Aaron Machado

Contents


1134. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein

Contents


1135. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.

Sir Winston Churchill

Contents


1136. The injury to a man


Contents


1137. The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


1138. The issue of race could benefit from a period of benign neglect.

Daniel Moynihan

Contents


1139. The key to successful leadership today is influence


Contents


1140. The law is not a light for you or any man to see by; the law is not an instrument of any kind. The law is a causeway upon which so long as he keeps to it a citizen may walk safely. Robert Bolt


Contents


1141. The lawgiver


Contents


1142. The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed


Contents


1143. The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story


Contents


1144. The light at the end of the tunnel is usually a No Exit sign. Anonymous


Contents


1145. The little I know


Contents


1146. The longer I live


Contents


1147. The longer you stay in the mall


Contents


1148. The Lord's Prayer is 66 words


Contents


1149. The loss of life will be irreplaceable.

J. Danforth Quayle (after the San Francisco earthquake)

Contents


1150. The Loyalists say they won't just lie down and walk away. Dennis Murray


Contents


1151. The man who gets the most satisfactory results is not always the man with the most brilliant single mind


Contents


1152. The man who is denied the opportunity of taking decisions of importance begins to regard as important the decisions he is allowed to take.

C. Northcote Parkinson

Contents


1153. The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


1154. The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.

Chinese Proverb

Contents


1155. The measure of a man is what he does with power.

Pittacus

Contents


1156. The mind has its own logic but does not often let others in on it.

Bernard de Voto

Contents


1157. The missus says that if someone in the street doesn't recognise me


Contents


1158. The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is


Contents


1159. The more sins you confess


Contents


1160. The more things a man is ashamed of


Contents


1161. The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.

Zig Ziglar

Contents


1162. The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.

Theodore Roosevelt

Contents


1163. The most important thing about having goals is having one.

Geoffrey F. Abert

Contents


1164. The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat


Contents


1165. The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Albert Einstein

Contents


1166. The most likely way for the world to be destroyed


Contents


1167. The most successful politician is he who says what everybody is thinking most often and in the loudest voice.

Theodore Roosevelt

Contents


1168. The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.

Anonymous

Contents


1169. The nation will find it very hard to look up to the leaders who are keeping their ears to the ground.

Winston Churchill

Contents


1170. The National Debt is a very Good Thing and to pay it off would be dangerous


Contents


1171. The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap - and they know it.

Fred Friendly

Contents


1172. The nice thing about standards is


Contents


1173. The number you have dialled is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again.

Anonymous

Contents


1174. The office of government is not to confer happiness


Contents


1175. The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

H. L. Mencken

Contents


1176. The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.

Anonymous

Contents


1177. The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.

Salvador Dali

Contents


1178. The only modest thing about Chris Eubank is his talent.

Simon Barnes

Contents


1179. The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Donald Kendall

Contents


1180. The only reason we're seven-and-oh is because is because we've won all seven of our games.

Dave Garcia

Contents


1181. The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

Wilson Mizner

Contents


1182. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Contents


1183. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Anonymous

Contents


1184. The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

James Branch Cabell

Contents


1185. The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds


Contents


1186. The other day


Contents


1187. The paper burns


Contents


1188. The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.

L. P. Hartley

Contents


1189. The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense


Contents


1190. The philosophy exam was a piece of cake - which was a bit of a surprise


Contents


1191. ˘The predicate here is more openness÷


Contents


1192. The President is going to benefit from me reporting directly to him when I arrive.

J. Danforth Quayle speaking to oil spill clean-up workers at Prince William Sound

Contents


1193. The price of greatness is responsibility.

Sir Winston Churchill

Contents


1194. The price works so well


Contents


1195. The principal fact of life is


Contents


1196. The purpose of time is to keep everything from happening at once. It's not working.

Anonymous

Contents


1197. The pursuit of perfection


Contents


1198. The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence


Contents


1199. The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

E. W. Dijkstra

Contents


1200. The quickest and shortest way to crush whatever laurels you have won is for you to rest on them.

Donald P. Jones

Contents


1201. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

George Bernard Shaw

Contents


1202. The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it not without doubt but in spite of doubt.

Rollo May

Contents


1203. The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

Albert Einstein

Contents


1204. The reward of a thing well done is to have it done.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contents


1205. The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Hubert H. Humphrey

Contents


1206. The road to success is always under construction.

Jim Miller

Contents


1207. The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Professor J.K.Galbraith

Contents


1208. The scientists split the atom; now the atom is splitting us.

Quentin Reynolds

Contents


1209. The secret of success is constancy to purpose.

Benjamin Franklin

Contents


1210. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

Jean Giraudoux

Contents


1211. The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once.

Samuel Smiles

Contents


1212. The speed of time is one second per second.

Anonymous

Contents


1213. The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


1214. The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures.

Jutice Earl Warren

Contents


1215. The streets are safe in Philadelphia


Contents


1216. The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.

Henrik Ibsen

Contents


1217. The successful revolutionary is a statesman


Contents


1218. The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.

Steven Wright

Contents


1219. The superfluous


Contents


1220. The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.

Thomas Wolfe

Contents


1221. The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Contents


1222. The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Contents


1223. The thing you really believe in always happens... and the belief in a thing makes it happen.

Frank Lloyd Wright

Contents


1224. The time to stop a revolution is at the beginning


Contents


1225. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it's natural manure.

Thomas Jefferson

Contents


1226. The trouble is


Contents


1227. The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win


Contents


1228. The true use of speech is not so much to express our wants as to conceal them.

Oliver Goldsmith

Contents


1229. The truth is not always the same as the majority decision.

Pope Jean Paul

Contents


1230. The truth is rarely pure


Contents


1231. The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.

H. L. Mencken

Contents


1232. The Twelve Months: Snowy


Contents


1233. The ultimate leader is one who is willing to develop people to the point that they surpass him or her in knowledge and ability. Fred A. Manske


Contents


1234. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort


Contents


1235. The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it


Contents


1236. The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.

Adolf Hitler

Contents


1237. The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.

William Jennings Bryan

Contents


1238. The way to love anything is to realise that it might be lost.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

Contents


1239. The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness


Contents


1240. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves


Contents


1241. The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.

Reggie Jackson

Contents


1242. The world began without man


Contents


1243. The world is full of willing people; some willing to work


Contents


1244. The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them


Contents


1245. The young do not know enough to be prudent


Contents


1246. There are 11 men sitting on yellow cards and that is a very uncomfortable position to be in.

John Motson

Contents


1247. There are a million ways to lose a work day


Contents


1248. There are four things that hold back human progress. Ignorance


Contents


1249. There are no ugly women


Contents


1250. There are some strings. They're just not attached.

Anonymous

Contents


1251. There are three kinds of lies: lies


Contents


1252. There are three types of people: those that can add up and those that can't.

Anonymous

Contents


1253. There are truths which are not for all men


Contents


1254. There are two kinds of light--the glow that illumines


Contents


1255. There are two kinds of truths: small truth and great truth. You can recognise a small truth because its opposite is a falsehood. The opposite of a great truth is another great truth.

Niels Bohr

Contents


1256. There are two schools of thought on Nostradamus: either (1) he had supernatural powers which enabled him to prophesy the future with uncanny accuracy


Contents


1257. There can be no justice so long as rules are absolute.

Patrick Stewart

Contents


1258. There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail.

Eric Hoffer

Contents


1259. There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.

Anonymous

Contents


1260. There has been in recent years excessive emphasis on a citizen's rights and inadequate stress put upon his duties and responsibilities.

Paxton Blair

Contents


1261. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love


Contents


1262. There is a Law that man should love his neighbor as himself. In a few years it should be as natural to mankind as breathing or the upright gait; but if he does not learn it he must perish.

Alfred Adler

Contents


1263. There is all the difference in the world between treating people equally and attempting to make them equal. While the first is the condition of a free society


Contents


1264. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

Nietzsche

Contents


1265. There is an inverse relationship between reliance on the state and self-reliance.

William F. Buckley Jr.

Contents


1266. There is enough in the world for everyone's need


Contents


1267. There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.

Bertrand Russell

Contents


1268. There is no distinctly American criminal class


Contents


1269. There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.

John Andrew Holmes

Contents


1270. There is no real wealth but the labour of man.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

Contents


1271. There is no security on this earth. Only opportunity.

General Douglas MacArthur

Contents


1272. There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.

William James

Contents


1273. There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.

Swift

Contents


1274. There is nothing permanent except change.

Heraclitus

Contents


1275. There is nothing wrong with Americans


Contents


1276. There is no such thing as a 'self-made' man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us


Contents


1277. There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving


Contents


1278. There is only one principle of war and that's this. Hit the other fellow


Contents


1279. There is only one sort of love


Contents


1280. There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about


Contents


1281. There is plenty of law at the end of a nightstick.

Grover A. Whalen

Contents


1282. There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.

John Erskine

Contents


1283. There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad its not a fence.

Anonymous

Contents


1284. There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

Anonymous

Contents


1285. There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true


Contents


1286. There's no future in time travel.

Anonymous

Contents


1287. There's no such thing as an over-engineered solution


Contents


1288. They always talk who never think


Contents


1289. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist

Army Officer

Contents


1290. They need help


Contents


1291. They talk most who have the least to say.

Mathew Prior

Contents


1292. They talk of the dignity of work. Bosh. The dignity is in leisure.

Herman Melville

Contents


1293. They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

Benjamin Franklin

Contents


1294. They were offered the opportunity to examine the contents of Michael Atherton's trousers but declined.

Ray Illingworth

Contents


1295. They x-rayed my head and found nothing. Jerome Dizzy Dean


Contents


1296. Things are not always what they seem.

Phaedrus

Contents


1297. Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.

William Butler Yeats

Contents


1298. Think with the wise


Contents


1299. This above all: to thine own self be true.

William Shakespeare

Contents


1300. This book has too much plot and not enough story.

Samuel Goldwyn

Contents


1301. This calls for a special blend of psychology and extreme violence. Vyvyan


Contents


1302. This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


1303. This is a great day for France! Richard Nixon


Contents


1304. This is not a book that should be cast aside lightly. It should be thrown away with great force.

Dorothy Parker

Contents


1305. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.

T. S. Eliot

Contents


1306. This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet


Contents


1307. This will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.

Elmer Davis

Contents


1308. Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.

James Matthew Barrie

Contents


1309. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

George Santayana

Contents


1310. Those who died asked for no conditions or guarantees; they gave everything and asked for nothing. Perhaps those of us left alive ask for too much and give too little.

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother

Contents


1311. Those who have easy


Contents


1312. Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

John F. Kennedy

Contents


1313. Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.

Alex Hamilton

Contents


1314. Those who would give up essential Liberty


Contents


1315. Though analogy is often misleading


Contents


1316. Though my soul may sit in darkness


Contents


1317. Thought for the day: What if there were no hypothetical situations?

Anonymous

Contents


1318. Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.

Benjamin Franklin

Contents


1319. Time is a great teacher


Contents


1320. Time is an illusion


Contents


1321. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.

Anonymous

Contents


1322. Time is the great legaliser


Contents


1323. Time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

C. Northcote Parkinson

Contents


1324. Tis my opinion every man cheats in his way


Contents


1325. To act with my clothes on is a performance; to act with my clothes off is a documentary.

Julia Roberts

Contents


1326. Tobacco exports should be expanded aggressively because Americans are smoking less.

J. Danforth Quayle

Contents


1327. To be a critic


Contents


1328. To be a winner


Contents


1329. To be loved


Contents


1330. To be sure of hitting the target


Contents


1331. To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.

Bertrand Russell

Contents


1332. To commit the perfect crime


Contents


1333. To different minds


Contents


1334. To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.

Theodore Roosevelt

Contents


1335. To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Anonymous

Contents


1336. To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's responsibility as a free man.

Alan Paton

Contents


1337. To know one thing


Contents


1338. To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.

Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibnitz

Contents


1339. To succeed in life


Contents


1340. Today is the yesterday you worried about tomorrow.

Anonymous

Contents


1341. Tomorrow is often the busiest time of the year.

Spanish Proverb

Contents


1342. Tongue: a variety of meat


Contents


1343. Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved.

Anonymous

Contents


1344. Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

Mae West

Contents


1345. Trust Everybody


Contents


1346. Truth is our most valuable commodity - let us economise.

Mark Twain

Contents


1347. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive


Contents


1348. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

Contents


1349. Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following a push-by shooting incident.

Anonymous

Contents


1350. Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.

Polish proverb

Contents


1351. Two wrongs don't make a right


Contents


1352. Unless you can find some sort of loyalty


Contents


1353. Verbosity leads to unclear


Contents


1354. Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins


Contents


1355. Victory comes from the Government


Contents


1356. Vigour is contagious


Contents


1357. Virtue is its own punishment.

Anonymous

Contents


1358. Voters quickly forget what a man says.

Richard Nixon

Contents


1359. Walter Mondale: George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologise. George Bush: Well


Contents


1360. War destroys men


Contents


1361. War has ended


Contents


1362. War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.

Desiderius Erasmus

Contents


1363. War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.

Georges Clemenceau

Contents


1364. War will cease when men refuse to fight.

Fridtjof Hansen

Contents


1365. Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.

John F. Kennedy

Contents


1366. Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war ?

Rev. William Spooner

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1367. Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.

Marcus Aurelius

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1368. Watch what people are cynical about


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1369. Watership Down: You've read the book. You've seen the movie. Now eat the stew!

Dani Zweig

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1370. We all perform...all the time


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1371. We always love those who admire us


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1372. We are all in the gutter


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1373. We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

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1374. We are here to add what we can to life


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1375. We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the child at play.

Heraclitus

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1376. We are not abandoning our convictions


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1377. We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

J. Danforth Quayle

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1378. We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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1379. We are told that talent creates its own opportunities. But it sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities


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1380. We can not expect to breed respect for law and order among people who do not share the fruits of our freedom.

Hubert H. Humphrey

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1381. We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

Will Rogers

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1382. We compound our suffering by victimising each other.

Athol Fugard

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1383. We do not inherit this land from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.

Haida Indian saying

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1384. We don't see things as they are


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1385. We don't want to go back to tomorrow


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1386. We expect them to work toward the elimination of human rights.

J. Danforth Quayle

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1387. We give up leisure in order that we may have leisure


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1388. We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die


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1389. We have a firm commitment to NATO


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1390. We have done so much


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1391. We have introduced something new into training at Spurs. Running.

Gerry Francis

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1392. We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world - or to make it the last.

John F. Kennedy

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1393. We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.

Epictetus

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1394. We haven't had problems here about race. We just don't go for letting the coloured ones in.

Rainbow girls leader

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1395. We hold these truths to be sacred and undeniable; that all men are created equal and independent


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1396. We join ourselves to no party that does not carry the American flag


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1397. We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.

Oscar Wilde

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1398. We love your adherence to democratic principles.

William F. Buckley

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1399. We must face the fact that the preservation of individual freedom is incompatible with a full satisfaction of our views of distributive justice.

F.A. Hayek

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1400. We pray for MacArthur's erection. Sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo


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1401. We promise according to our hopes


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1402. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller

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1403. We win half the battle when we make up our minds to take the world as we find it


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1404. We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Aesop

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1405. We


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1406. We're all capable of mistakes


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1407. We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

J. Danforth Quayle

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1408. We're overpaying him but he's worth it.

Samuel Goldwyn

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1409. Wealth is not without its advantages


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1410. Welcome to President Bush


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1411. Welfare is the art of taking the money you've earned and giving it to someone who hasn't.

Anonymous

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1412. Well-balanced meal: to have selected items from both the left and right sides of the vending machine.

Aleccia McDonald

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1413. Well


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1414. Well I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

Yogi Berra

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1415. Well done is better than well said.

Benjamin Franklin

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1416. Were it offered to my choice


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1417. What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

J. Danforth Quayle

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1418. What broke in a man when he could bring himself to kill another?

Alan Paton

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1419. What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

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1420. What did you ask at school today?

Richard Fenyman

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1421. What does not destroy me


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1422. What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car ?

George Bernard Shaw

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1423. What doesn't kill me better be able to run damn fast.

Anonymous

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1424. What experience and history teach is this - that people and governments never have learnt anything from history


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1425. What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

Aristotle

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1426. What is the difference between journalism and literature? Journalism is unreadable


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1427. What is the meaning of life? Life has no meaning. It's just a fortunate coincidence of carbon chemistry. Forget about it.

Anonymous

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1428. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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1429. What light is to the eyes--what air is to the lungs--what love is to the heart


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1430. What luck for the rulers that men do not think.

Adolf Hitler

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1431. What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

Anonymous

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1432. What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.

Benjamin Disraeli

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1433. What we call morals is simply blind obedience to words of command. Havelock Ellis


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1434. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.

Charlotte Whitton

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1435. Whatever you can do


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1436. Whatever you do


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1437. What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped?

Anonymous

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1438. When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing


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1439. When a man says he approves of something in principle


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1440. When all else fails


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1441. When all is said and done


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1442. When angry


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1443. When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A.


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1444. When I use a word


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1445. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.

Clarence Darrow

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1446. When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one


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1447. When in doubt


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1448. When the going gets tough


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1449. When one has been threatened with a great injustice


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1450. When the president does it


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1451. When the tide of life turns against you; And the current upsets your boat; Don't waste tears on what might have been; Just lie on your back and float.

Anonymous

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1452. When the rich make war it's the poor that die.

Jean-Paul Sartre

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1453. When wealth is lost


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1454. When you are angry or frustrated


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1455. When you get right down to it


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1456. When you have completed 95% of your journey you are halfway there.

Japanese Proverb

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1457. When you have nothing important or interesting to say


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1458. When you have nothing to say


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1459. When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before.

Clifton Fadiman

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1460. When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers


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1461. Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery


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1462. Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.

Harry S. Truman

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1463. Whenever you see a successful business


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1464. Where all men think alike


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1465. Where liberty is


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1466. Where self-interest is suppressed


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1467. Where would we be without rhetorical questions?

Anonymous

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1468. Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.

Harry S. Truman

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1469. While money can't buy happiness


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1470. While most peoples' opinions change


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1471. While one person hesitates because he feels inferior


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1472. Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.

George Orwell

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1473. Who knows what we live


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1474. Who will not suffer labour in this world


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1475. Who will protect the public when the police violate the law?

Ramsey Clark

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1476. Why can you only have two doors on a chicken coop? If it had four it would be a chicken sedan.

Anonymous

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1477. Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres! Jerry Coleman


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1478. Winners repeat frequently while the defeated are apt to be defeated almost continuously.

George E. Smith

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1479. Winning is not everything. It's the only thing.

Vince Lombardi

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1480. Wisdom denotes the pursuing of the best ends by the best means.

Francis Hutcheson

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1481. Wise men never sit and wail their loss


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1482. Without courage


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1483. Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

Marcel Archard

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1484. Women prefer Democrats to men.

Representative Tony Coelho (D-Ca)

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1485. Wooing


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1486. Words are


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1487. Words divide us


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1488. Work 8 hours


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1489. Work expands so as to fill the time available for it's completion.

C Northcote Parkinson

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1490. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Oscar Wilde

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1491. Writers must avoid clich┌s like the plague.

Fleet Street memo

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1492. Writing a book is like washing an elephant: there's no good place to begin or end


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1493. Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.

Jules Renard

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1494. You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

From a guest directory at a Japanese hotel

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1495. You are only young once


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1496. You can best reward a liar by believing nothing of what he says.

Aristippus

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1497. You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

Eric Hoffer

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1498. You can fool all the people some of the time


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1499. You can fool some of the people all of the time


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1500. You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Al Capone

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1501. You can have brilliant ideas


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1502. You can lead a horticulture


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1503. You can never plan the future by the past.

Edmund Burke

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1504. You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Jeannette Rankin

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1505. You can only live once


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1506. You can outdistance that which is running after you


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1507. You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans.

Ronald Reagan

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1508. You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.

Naguib Mahfouz

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1509. You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do.

Henry Ford

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1510. You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.

John Wooden

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1511. You cannot be a leader


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1512. You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

Anonymous

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1513. You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team


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1514. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Steven Wright

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1515. You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.

Will Rogers

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1516. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.

H.R. Haldeman

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1517. You can't try to do things; you simply must do them.

Ray Bradbury

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1518. You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one.

Edward Keating

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1519. You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault


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1520. You don't have to stay up nights to succeed; you have to stay awake days.

Anonymous

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1521. You don't have to worry about me. I might have been born yesterday...but I stayed up all night.

Anonymous

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1522. You either make dust or eat dust. H. Jackson Brown


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1523. You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.

John Morley

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1524. You manage things; you lead people.

Admiral Grace Murray Hopper

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1525. You may abuse a tragedy


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1526. You simply must stop taking advice from other people.

Melissa Timberman

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1527. You will find it a very good practice always to verify your references


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1528. You're only as good as the people you hire.

Ray Kroc

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1529. Youth is a blunder


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1530.