• 1. Reformatted for gjots from the original Psion files quotes.s5
• 2. A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.
• 3. A bad casting call: Can't act. Can't sing. Balding. Can dance a little.
• 4. A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
• 5. A big man is one who makes us feel bigger when we are with him.
• 6. A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.
• 7. A champion views resistance as a gift of energy.
• 8. A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
• 9. A Classic is something that everyone wants to have read but nobody wants to read.
• 10. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
• 11. A committee is a group of the unwilling
• 12. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
• 13. A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.
• 14. A Conservative Government is an organised hypocrisy.
• 15. A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.
• 16. A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
• 17. A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
• 18. A day without sunshine is like night.
• 19. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
• 20. A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.
• 21. A failure is a man who has blundered
• 22. A feature is a bug with seniority.
• 23. A Frenchman must always be talking
• 24. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
• 25. A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him
• 26. A goalscorer should let fly as soon as he sees the goal.
• 27. A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.
• 28. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
• 29. A good listener is not only popular everywhere
• 30. A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.
• 31. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
• 32. A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning
• 33. A high-class horse could not win a race with a feather on his back if he is not in condition.
• 34. A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
• 35. A law is valuable not because it is law
• 36. A leader is a dealer in hope.
• 37. A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go but ought to be.
• 38. A little Government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them.
• 39. A little less complaint and whining
• 40. A little rebellion now and then is a good thing
• 41. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
• 42. A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good
• 43. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
• 44. A man is known by the books he reads.
• 45. A man is measured by the size of things that anger him.
• 46. A man is the sum of his actions
• 47. A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.
• 48. A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes
• 49. A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car
• 50. A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.
• 51. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
• 52. A man's best friends are his ten fingers.
• 53. A man's feet should be planted in his country
• 54. A man's mother is his misfortune
• 55. A metaphor is like a simile.
• 56. A nuclear power plant is infinitely safer than eating
• 57. A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
• 58. A plausible impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.
• 59. A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
• 60. A poor life this if
• 61. A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.
• 62. A precedent embalms a principle.
• 63. A religion is a heresy with an adequate army.
• 64. A rolling stone gathers momentum.
• 65. A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.
• 66. A ship is always referred to as she because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder. Chester Nimitz
• 67. A single death is a tragedy
• 68. A single fact can spoil a good argument.
• 69. A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.
• 70. A Stanford research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3
• 71. A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.
• 72. A visionary is one who can find his way by moonlight
• 73. A wise and frugal government
• 74. Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.
• 75. Above all things I hope the education of the common people will be attended to
• 76. Absolute liberty is absence of restraint; responsibility is restraint; therefore
• 77. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.
• 78. Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good
• 79. Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake
• 80. Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts.
• 81. Advice to persons about to marry. Don't.
• 82. After you've done a thing the same way for two years
• 83. Again and again
• 84. Alcohol is a very necessary article....It makes life bearable for millions of people who could not endure it's existence if they were quite sober.
• 85. All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
• 86. All colours will agree in the dark.
• 87. All easy problems have already been solved.
• 88. All government
• 89. All life's answers are on TV.
• 90. All mankind loves a lover.
• 91. All men are liable to error; and most men are
• 92. All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear
• 93. All men think all men are mortal but themselves.
• 94. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
• 95. All right
• 96. All the things I really like to do are either illegal
• 97. All this buttoning and unbuttoning.
• 98. All we are saying is give peace a chance.
• 99. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
• 100. All you have to do to protect yourself from radiation is to go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath.
• 101. Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
• 102. Always be a little kinder than necessary.
• 103. Always be nice to those younger than you
• 104. Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back.
• 105. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
• 106. Always do what you are afraid to do.
• 107. Always go to other people's funerals
• 108. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done
• 109. Always question. Always analyse. But in the end
• 110. Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.
• 111. America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation.
• 112. America's abundance was not created by public sacrifices to æthe common good
• 113. Americans have different ways of saying things. They say elevator
• 114. Americans
• 115. An aristocracy in a republic is like a chicken whose head has been cut off; it may run about in a lively way
• 116. An armed society is a polite society.
• 117. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
• 118. An Englishman
• 119. An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made
• 120. An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.
• 121. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
• 122. An expert is a person who avoids small error as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.
• 123. An honest politician is one who
• 124. An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.
• 125. An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
• 126. Anarchy may not be the best form of government
• 127. And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.) Dave Barry
• 128. And now the sequence of events in particular order.
• 129. And
• 130. And so
• 131. And when we think we lead
• 132. Any colour - so long as it's black.
• 133. Any coward can sit in his home and criticise a pilot for flying into a mountain in a fog. But I would rather
• 134. Any fool can tell the truth
• 135. Any law that takes hold of a man's daily life cannot prevail in a community
• 136. Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its opponents blame it for the drought.
• 137. Any shot that scores is a good shot.
• 138. Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
• 139. Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points
• 140. Anyone can count the seeds in an apple. No one can count the apples in a seed.
• 141. Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.
• 142. Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.
• 143. Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
• 144. Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
• 145. Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate.
• 146. Anything is possible. I have seen Bestie refuse a drink and I've seen Emlyn Hughes buy one.
• 147. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
• 148. Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
• 149. Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies.
• 150. As a general rule
• 151. As a mother
• 152. As a rule
• 153. As long as people will accept crap
• 154. As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.
• 155. As of 1992
• 156. As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.
• 157. Ask a man which way he is going to vote
• 158. Asking æwho ought to be the boss' is like asking æwho ought to be the tenor in the quartet?' Obviously
• 159. Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
• 160. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
• 161. Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
• 162. Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.
• 163. Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.
• 164. Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most.
• 165. Be like a duck. Calm on the surface
• 166. Be polite to all
• 167. Be smarter than other people
• 168. Be wisely worldly
• 169. Beauty is only skin deep
• 170. Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
• 171. Because everyone uses language to talk
• 172. Because just as good morals
• 173. Before God we are equally wise - and equally foolish.
• 174. Before you kill something make sure you have something better to replace it with; something better than political opportunist slamming hate horse shit in the public park.
• 175. Beginning today
• 176. Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are
• 177. Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.
• 178. Better an ounce of luck than a pound of gold.
• 179. Better by far you should forget and smile that you should remember and be sad.
• 180. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt.
• 181. Between two evils
• 182. Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.
• 183. Bite the wax tadpole.
• 184. Bobby Knight told me this: ``There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offence.'' In other words a good offence wins.
• 185. Boys will be boys
• 186. Brain researchers estimate that your unconscious data base outweighs the conscious on an order exceeding ten million to one. This data base is the source of you hidden
• 187. Brevity is the best recommendation of speech
• 188. Brevity is the soul of wit.
• 189. Bumper sticker: Auntie Em: Hate you
• 190. Bumper sticker: DANGER! I drive like you do.
• 191. Business is like a wheelbarrow. Nothing ever happens until you start pushing.
• 192. But I'm not so think as you drunk I am.
• 193. By and large
• 194. By the time you say you're his
• 195. By swallowing evil words unsaid
• 196. Call it what you will
• 197. Can God write a check for a sum so large that he can't cover it? I can. If God can't
• 198. Can heresy itself be a legitimate religion?
• 199. Censorship
• 200. Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure
• 201. Chance favours the prepared mind.
• 202. Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.
• 203. Character is doing what's right when nobody's looking.
• 204. Character is much easier kept than recovered.
• 205. Character is power.
• 206. Checks and balances does not mean writing the checks while ignoring the balances.
• 207. Cheer up! The worst is yet to come!
• 208. Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
• 209. Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?
• 210. Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theatre.
• 211. Class has a sense of humour. It knows that a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations. Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes. Class bespeaks an aristocracy unrelated to ancestors or
• 212. Class is how you treat people who can do nothing for you.
• 213. Clone
• 214. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
• 215. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
• 216. College isn't the place to go for ideas.
• 217. Comedy is tragedy plus time.
• 218. Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.
• 219. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
• 220. Computer : a million morons working at the speed of light.
• 221. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
• 222. Computers can figure out all kinds of problems
• 223. Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job will cost.
• 224. Condense soup
• 225. Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favourable do nothing.
• 226. Confusion is the welcome mat at the door of creativity.
• 227. Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
• 228. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
• 229. Conscious is when you are aware of something
• 230. Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.
• 231. Conversation is one of the greatest pleasures of life. But it wants leisure.
• 232. Copy from one
• 233. Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.
• 234. Courage is grace under pressure.
• 235. Courage is resistance to fear
• 236. Crazy people who are productive are geniuses. Crazy people who are rich are eccentric. Crazy people who are neither productive nor rich are just plain crazy. Geniuses and crazy people are both out in the middle of a deep ocean; geniuses swim
• 237. Crime does not pay... as well as politics.
• 238. Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word
• 239. Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
• 240. Democracy is mob rule
• 241. Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will
• 242. Destiny is not a matter of chance
• 243. Did you ever expect a corporation to have a conscience
• 244. Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.
• 245. Diligence is the mother of good luck.
• 246. Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice Doggie! till you can find a rock. Wynn Catlin
• 247. Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war
• 248. Do I not like that !
• 249. Do not follow where the path may lead....go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
• 250. Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.
• 251. Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
• 252. Do you know what I like about the Irish team ? They are the only team to who come off at the end of the game and ask Who won ?. Spike Milligan
• 253. Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
• 254. Do your damnedest in an ostentatious manner all the time.
• 255. Dogs come when they are called. Cats have answering machines and may get back to you.
• 256. Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius.
• 257. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
• 258. Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison
• 259. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
• 260. Don't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
• 261. Don't let school interfere with your education.
• 262. Don't Panic.
• 263. Dorothy MacMillian: ôWhat are you looking forward to now ?ö Madame de Gualle: ôA penisö General de Gualle: ôMy dear
• 264. Doubt is not a pleasant condition
• 265. Doubt is uncomfortable
• 266. Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
• 267. Drawing on my fine command of language
• 268. Due to budgetary restraints
• 269. Eagles don't flock - you have to find them one at a time.
• 270. Economics is war pursued by other means.
• 271. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
• 272. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
• 273. Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self confidence.
• 274. Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.
• 275. Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
• 276. Education makes people easy to lead
• 277. Employ thy time well
• 278. England and America are two countries divided by a common language.
• 279. Eschew obfuscation.
• 280. Even if you're on the right track
• 281. Every absurdity has a champion to defend it
• 282. Every great mistake has a half-way moment
• 283. Every man I meet is in some way my superior.
• 284. Every man is dishonest who lives upon the labour of others
• 285. Every revolutionary idea - in science
• 286. Every time history repeats itself the price goes up.
• 287. Every woman should marry - and no man.
• 288. Everybody wants to go to heaven
• 289. Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
• 290. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.
• 291. Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom.
• 292. Everything's in the mind. That's where it all starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.
• 293. Evil will always triumph
• 294. Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared
• 295. Excellence in any department can be attained only by the labour of a lifetime; it is not to be purchased at a lesser price.
• 296. Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
• 297. Excuses are like assholes
• 298. Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.
• 299. Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.
• 300. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
• 301. Expenditure rises to meet income.
• 302. Experience is a dear teacher
• 303. Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.
• 304. Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes.
• 305. Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes
• 306. Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
• 307. Failing doesn't make you a failure. Giving up
• 308. Failing organisations are usually over-managed and under-led.
• 309. Failure is only postponed success as long as courage coaches ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory. Herbert Kaufman
• 310. Failure is the opportunity to begin again
• 311. Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move.
• 312. Far better is it to dare mighty things
• 313. Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them.
• 314. Fidelity purchased with money
• 315. Fight for your opinions
• 316. Fight organized crime: stamp out the IRS.
• 317. Figures won't lie
• 318. Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. H. Jackson Brown
• 319. Find expression for a sorrow and it will become dear to you. Find expression for a joy
• 320. Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.
• 321. First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity: no really self-respecting woman would take advantage of it.
• 322. Football is the fourth most popular sport in America after American Football
• 323. For centuries
• 324. For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex ...uh...setbacks.
• 325. For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.
• 326. For NASA
• 327. Forgive your enemies
• 328. Form is transitory
• 329. Frank doesn't have to fight in January. There are 12 other months in the year.
• 330. Frank O'Conner grows on you
• 331. Free people
• 332. Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.
• 333. Freedom is being able to live with the consequences of your decisions.
• 334. Friendship is like money
• 335. From each according to his abilities
• 336. From the moment I picked it until the moment I laid it down
• 337. Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
• 338. Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience.
• 339. Genius is one per cent inspiration
• 340. Genius may have its limitations
• 341. Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it
• 342. Get your facts first
• 343. Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
• 344. Give me control over a nation's currency
• 345. Give me six lines written by the most honourable of men
• 346. Give us the luxuries of life and we'll dispense with the necessaries.
• 347. Given a choice between two theories
• 348. Go peacefully amongst the things. Edwina (Eddie) on ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS
• 349. Go to Heaven for the climate
• 350. God has been replaced
• 351. God
• 352. Golf is a good walk spoiled.
• 353. Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee
• 354. Good executives never put off until tomorrow what they can get someone else to do today.
• 355. Good government generally begins in the family
• 356. Good judgement comes from experience
• 357. Good leaders must first become good servants.
• 358. Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success.
• 359. Good order is the foundation of all things.
• 360. Good taste is better than bad taste
• 361. Goodwill and artillery will get you more than goodwill alone anytime.
• 362. Government cannot make us equal; it can only recognise
• 363. Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
• 364. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves
• 365. Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.
• 366. Great is the art of beginning
• 367. Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree.
• 368. Guidelines for bureaucrats: When in charge; ponder; When in trouble; delegate; When in doubt; mumble.
• 369. Gun control is hitting your target.
• 370. Guns are always the best method for a private suicide. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time.
• 371. Half of the people in the world are below average.
• 372. Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get
• 373. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
• 374. Hartley's Second Law: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
• 375. Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.
• 376. Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a - it is different than the other 49 states. Well
• 377. He didn't say that. He read what was given to him in a speech.
• 378. Happy campers you have been
• 379. He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.
• 380. He first deceased; She for a little tried. To live without him; Liked it not
• 381. He found it inconvenient to be poor.
• 382. He has achieved success who has worked well
• 383. He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
• 384. He laughs best who laughs last.
• 385. He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
• 386. He that hath a trade hath an estate; he that hath a calling hath an office of profit and honour.
• 387. He who asks is a fool for five minutes
• 388. He who hesitates is not only lost
• 389. He who loses control
• 390. He who opens a school door
• 391. He who talks much cannot talk well.
• 392. He's going to chance his arm with his left foot.
• 393. He's still green behind the ears.
• 394. Here lies a man who knew how to enlist the service of better men than himself.
• 395. Heresy is another word for freedom of thought.
• 396. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
• 397. Hindsight is an exact science.
• 398. His doubts are better than most people's certainties.
• 399. History is more or less bunk.
• 400. History is not going to be kind to liberals. With their mindless programs
• 401. History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
• 402. History suggests that Capitalism is a necessary condition for political freedom.
• 403. History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
• 404. Hitch your wagon to a star.
• 405. Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
• 406. Hope is a good breakfast
• 407. Horses just naturally have mohawk haircuts.
• 408. How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?
• 409. How do you tell a communist? Well
• 410. How noble the law
• 411. How to store your baby walker: First
• 412. Humour is the shortest distance between two people.
• 413. I am a great believer in luck
• 414. I am a jelly doughnut
• 415. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
• 416. I am honoured today to begin my first term as the Governor of Baltimore - that is Maryland. William Donald Schaefer
• 417. I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
• 418. I am not wanting to make too long speech tonight as I am knowing your old English saying
• 419. I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything
• 420. I am providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raisedà
• 421. I am ready to meet my maker
• 422. I am responsible only to God and history.
• 423. I am very patriotic. I've committed one crime in my life. John Walker
• 424. I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
• 425. I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?
• 426. I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.
• 427. I believe in unions and I believe in non-unions.
• 428. I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.
• 429. I came
• 430. I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
• 431. I cannot be fired. Slaves have to be sold.
• 432. I cannot give you the formula for success
• 433. I cannot live without books.
• 434. I conceive that a knowledge of books is the basis on which all other knowledge rests.
• 435. I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
• 436. I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake. J. Danforth Quayle
• 437. I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.
• 438. I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it.
• 439. I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm jut here for the drugs.
• 440. I disapprove of what you say
• 441. I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible.
• 442. I do not mind lying
• 443. I do not think that winning is the most important thing. I think it is the only thing.
• 444. I don't have to practice what I preach 'cause I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to!
• 445. I don't know the key to success
• 446. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
• 447. I don't believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights
• 448. I don't even know what street Canada is on.
• 449. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
• 450. I either want less corruption
• 451. I favour the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.
• 452. I feel sorry for Cupid's mother. How'd you like to try to toilet-train an armed kid who can fly?
• 453. I forget what I was taught. I only remember what I've learnt.
• 454. I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.
• 455. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life
• 456. I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
• 457. I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
• 458. I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.
• 459. I have often regretted my speech
• 460. I have one great fear in my heart
• 461. I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
• 462. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
• 463. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
• 464. I hold it true
• 465. I hope I stand for anti-bigotry
• 466. I hope the referee's next crap is a hedgehog.
• 467. I keep seeing lousy films and saying to myself
• 468. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought
• 469. I know that's a secret
• 470. I like a man who grins when he fights.
• 471. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
• 472. I like the silent church before the service begins
• 473. I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything
• 474. I like to give home-made gifts. Which one of the kids would you like?
• 475. I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation.
• 476. I love Americans
• 477. I love California
• 478. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
• 479. I may argue with my brother
• 480. I mean to live my life an obedient man
• 481. I never deny
• 482. I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.
• 483. I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever
• 484. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
• 485. I place economy among the first and important virtues
• 486. I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process.
• 487. I sincerely believe... that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity under the name of funding is but swindling futurity on a large scale.
• 488. I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
• 489. I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders
• 490. I still miss my ex-wife
• 491. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
• 492. I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.
• 493. I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
• 494. I think that
• 495. I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary
• 496. I think
• 497. I think
• 498. I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job George Bush
• 499. I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session.
• 500. I want you to take your balls in your hand and bounce them on the floor and then throw them as high as you can. Now
• 501. I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said
• 502. I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.
• 503. I was never less alone than when by myself.
• 504. I was recently on a tour of Latin America
• 505. I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So
• 506. I will have no man work for me who has not the capacity to become a partner.
• 507. I wish it were possible to obtain a single amendment to our Constitution. I would be willing to depend on that alone for the reduction of the administration of our government; I mean an additional article taking from the Federal Government the power of bo
• 508. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
• 509. I would bet that the Great San Francisco Glaucoma Epidemic of 1992 will be one for the history books.
• 510. I would have made a good pope.
• 511. I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
• 512. I would like to express my sympathy to all those impacted by this disaster.
• 513. I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it.
• 514. I would rather belong to a poor nation that was free than to a rich nation that had ceased to be in love with liberty.
• 515. I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.
• 516. I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
• 517. I'd rather live nowhere than in the suburbs of nowhere.
• 518. I'll get a life as soon as I can find the FTP site.
• 519. I'm enclosing a few densely written and colourfully printed sheets about the program
• 520. I'm hard-nosed about luck. I think it sucks. Yeah
• 521. I'm in favour of legalising drugs. According to my values system
• 522. I'm not against the blacks and a lot of the good blacks will attest to that. Evan Mecham
• 523. I'm so na´ve about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realised I didn't understand
• 524. I'm the consul for information
• 525. I've got a mind like a...what's that thing called that you use to strain spaghetti?
• 526. If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for
• 527. If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover
• 528. If a tree falls on a laboratory mouse
• 529. If all economists were laid end to end
• 530. If all men knew what others say of them
• 531. If all you have is a hammer
• 532. If anything goes bad
• 533. If at first you don't succeed
• 534. If God wanted me to touch my toes
• 535. If I ever needed a brain transplant
• 536. If I have a thousand ideas and only one turns out to be good
• 537. If I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough I would be convinced that we're in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed.
• 538. If ignorance is bliss
• 539. If it ain't broke
• 540. If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind
• 541. If one man can be allowed to determine for himself what is law
• 542. If people really liked to work
• 543. If the blind lead the blind
• 544. If the car industry behaved like the computer industry over the last 30 years
• 545. If the children are untaught
• 546. If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough
• 547. If the human brain were so simple we could understand it
• 548. If the odds are a million to one against something occurring
• 549. If there is anything better than to be loved it is loving.
• 550. If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad
• 551. If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualise world peace for an hour
• 552. If we desire respect for the law
• 553. If we don't succeed
• 554. If you are never scared or embarrassed or hurt
• 555. If you are sure you understand everything that is going on
• 556. If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event
• 557. If you can count your money you don't have a billion dollars.
• 558. If you can't stand the heat
• 559. If you can't convince them
• 560. If you could have a large sum of money
• 561. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble
• 562. If you don't make mistakes
• 563. If you hear an onion ring
• 564. If you judge poeple
• 565. If you like laws and sausages
• 566. If you love something
• 567. If you see a snake
• 568. If you sit down and don't see a fish at the table
• 569. If you think education is expensive
• 570. If you think nobody cares if you're alive
• 571. If you think you can
• 572. If you want to get a good idea
• 573. If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. John D. Rockefeller
• 574. If you want to succeed
• 575. If you were asked a hypothetical question
• 576. If you will tell me why the fen appears impassable
• 577. If you wish to be a success in the world
• 578. If you're not part of the solution
• 579. If
• 580. Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
• 581. Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.
• 582. Imagination is more important than knowledge
• 583. If a free society cannot help the many who are poor
• 584. If it is to be
• 585. In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
• 586. In a survey taken several years ago
• 587. In a way
• 588. In a world of private property
• 589. In all forms of government the people is the true legislator.
• 590. In an Orkin Exterminating Co. survey of what pests Pittsburghers fear most
• 591. In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.
• 592. In baiting a mouse-trap with cheese
• 593. In California
• 594. In case of fire
• 595. In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country
• 596. In every country and every age
• 597. In pioneer days they used oxen for heavy pulling
• 598. In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
• 599. In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence.
• 600. In the fight between you and the world
• 601. In the great mass of our people there are plenty individuals of intelligence from among whom leadership can be recruited.
• 602. In the long run we are all dead.
• 603. In theory
• 604. In this theatre of man's life
• 605. In this world
• 606. In time of war the first casualty is truth.
• 607. In times like these
• 608. In war there is no substitute for victory.
• 609. In years to come the phrase tight as Graham's Arsenal may replace the present colourful colloquialism describing someone reluctant to part with money. Paul Johnson
• 610. Include the success of others in your dreams for your own success.
• 611. Infinite patience brings immediate results.
• 612. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
• 613. Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. One defends when his strength is inadequate; he attacks when it is abundant.
• 614. Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.
• 615. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?
• 616. Is the glass half empty
• 617. Is the word spec short for specification
• 618. Is tired old clichÚ one? Anonymous
• 619. It behoves every man who values liberty of conscience for himself
• 620. It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white
• 621. It is a bad plan that admits of no modification.
• 622. It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data.
• 623. It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.
• 624. It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability.
• 625. It is a sin to believe evil of others
• 626. It is always the best policy to tell the truth
• 627. It is amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit.
• 628. It is amazing how much people can get done if they do not worry about who gets the credit.
• 629. It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
• 630. It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.
• 631. It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes
• 632. It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!
• 633. It is better to wear out than to rust out.
• 634. It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
• 635. It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
• 636. It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
• 637. It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
• 638. It is good to be without vices
• 639. It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.
• 640. It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.
• 641. It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
• 642. It is not enough for a handful of experts to attempt the solution of a problem
• 643. It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.
• 644. It is not the critic who counts
• 645. It is not true that life is one damn thing after another...It's one damn thing over and over.
• 646. It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
• 647. It is only through labour and painful effort
• 648. It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
• 649. It is said that God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions.
• 650. It is the fight alone that pleases us
• 651. It is the mark of an inexperienced man not to believe in luck.
• 652. It is the spirit and not the form of law that keeps justice alive.
• 653. It is true that liberty is precious - so precious that it must be rationed.
• 654. It is well that war is so terrible
• 655. It is what you learn after you know it all that counts.
• 656. It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
• 657. It isn't the fact that the cats like to hang around while sex is going on that annoys me: it's those little score cards they hold up afterwards.
• 658. It isn't the incompetent who destroys an organisation. The incompetent never gets in a position to destroy it. It is those who have achieved something and want to rest upon their achievements who are forever clogging things up.
• 659. It isn't the people you fire who make your life miserable
• 660. It isn't what they say about you
• 661. It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.
• 662. It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
• 663. It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday
• 664. It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant. Perdue chicken ad
• 665. It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.
• 666. It was one of the things I was always going to take care of
• 667. It was only after their population of fifty mysteriously shrank to eight that the other seven dwarfs began to suspect Hungry.
• 668. It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology
• 669. It's a small world
• 670. It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs.
• 671. It's a tale of two systems
• 672. It's a very valuable function and requirement that you're performing
• 673. It's a well known fact that computing devices such as the abacus were invented thousands of years ago. But it's not well known that the first use of a common computer protocol occurred in the Old Testament. This
• 674. It's bad manners to apply cosmetics in public. It reminds people you need them...
• 675. It's deja vu all over again.
• 676. It's evolution
• 677. It's great to be great but it's greater to be human.
• 678. It's hard to make a program foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
• 679. It's hard to seize the day when you first have to grapple with the morning.
• 680. It's national clean-off-your-desk day. I think I found Elvis.
• 681. It's not that I object to people re-inventing the wheel; what gets to me is watching them re-invent the flat tire.
• 682. It's not what we don't know that hurts us
• 683. It's not your blue blood
• 684. It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
• 685. It's the good loser who finally loses out.
• 686. [It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.
• 687. It's tough to make predictions
• 688. It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
• 689. Jaw
• 690. Jenny kissed me when we met
• 691. John Barrymore: you should play Hamlet. Jimmy Durante: To hell with them small towns. I'll stick to New York.
• 692. John Hollins has a very strong wife. It might have been better if I'd made her manager.
• 693. Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.
• 694. Justice is incidental to law and order.
• 695. Keep a stiff upper chin.
• 696. Keep your head and your heart going in the right direction and you will not have to worry about your feet.
• 697. Kites rise highest against the wind; not with it.
• 698. Knock
• 699. Labour is man's greatest function. He is nothing
• 700. Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability.
• 701. Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone
• 702. Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.
• 703. Language is only the instrument of science
• 704. Language is the armoury of the human mind
• 705. Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
• 706. Language is the dress of thought.
• 707. Last night I dreamed I had insomnia. I woke up exhausted
• 708. Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
• 709. Laughter is the tonic
• 710. Laws that do not embody public opinion can never be enforced.
• 711. Laws were made to be broken.
• 712. Lead me
• 713. Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.
• 714. Leaders get out in front and stay there by raising the standards by which they judge themselves - and by which they are willing to be judged.
• 715. Leaders who win the respect of others are the ones who deliver more than they promise
• 716. Leadership is influence.
• 717. Leadership is the other side of the coin of loneliness
• 718. Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
• 719. Learn and think imperially.
• 720. Learn to say æno' to the good so you can say æyes' to the best.
• 721. Legislators represent people
• 722. Leisure is a beautiful garment
• 723. Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
• 724. Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night.
• 725. Let every nation know
• 726. Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is
• 727. Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity.
• 728. Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
• 729. Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
• 730. Liberty can not be preserved without a general knowledge among the people.
• 731. Liberty consists in wholesome restraint.
• 732. Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
• 733. Liberty is always dangerous
• 734. Liberty is the only thing you can't have unless you give it to others.
• 735. Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
• 736. Liberty
• 737. Life is 10% what you make it
• 738. Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving.
• 739. Life is a dead-end street.
• 740. Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns. Charles Feidelson
• 741. Life is a tragedy for those who feel
• 742. Life is just one damned thing after another.
• 743. Life is like a cash register
• 744. Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute
• 745. Life is not worth living unless you have a choice of all the gloriously unhygienic things that mankind - especially the French portion of it - has lovingly created.
• 746. Life is the acceptance of responsibilities or their evasion
• 747. Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.
• 748. Life is the childhood of our immortality.
• 749. Life is the continuous adjustment of internal relations to external relations.
• 750. Life must be lived as play.
• 751. Life was simple before World War II. After that
• 752. Life
• 753. Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual.
• 754. Light is the first of painters. There is no object so foul that intense light will not make it beautiful.
• 755. Light is the symbol of truth.
• 756. Like winter snow on summer lawn
• 757. Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.
• 758. Literature is news that stays news.
• 759. Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice.
• 760. Literature is the immortality of speech.
• 761. Literature is the orchestration of platitudes.
• 762. Live the questions.
• 763. Logic is neither a science nor an art
• 764. Logic is the anatomy of thought.
• 765. Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.
• 766. Logic
• 767. Logic: an instrument used for bolstering a prejudice.
• 768. Looking for enlightenment is like looking for a flashlight when all you need the flashlight for is to find the flashlight.
• 769. Loquacity and lying are cousins.
• 770. Lord
• 771. Lose an hour in the morning
• 772. Love built on beauty
• 773. Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.
• 774. Love gives itself; it is not bought.
• 775. Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.
• 776. Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over
• 777. Love is
• 778. Love is an act of endless forgiveness
• 779. Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
• 780. Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
• 781. Love is not blind - it sees more
• 782. Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.
• 783. Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
• 784. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
• 785. Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young
• 786. Love: the delusion that one woman differs from another.
• 787. Love's like the measles
• 788. Loyalty ... is a realisation that America was born of revolt
• 789. Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.
• 790. Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
• 791. Luck is the residue of design.
• 792. Luxury is the first
• 793. Luxury may possibly contribute to give bread to the poor; but if there were no luxury
• 794. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
• 795. Make voyages! Attempt them...there's nothing else.
• 796. Man does not live by words alone
• 797. Man is not logical and his intellectual history is a record of mental reserves and compromises. He hangs on to what he can in his old beliefs even when he is compelled to surrender their logical basis.
• 798. Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
• 799. Man will occasionally stumble over the truth
• 800. Man's mind
• 801. Mankind must put an end to war
• 802. Many times I find myself in a comfortable position - and I don't feel happy about it. It is...an enormous desire to go further
• 803. Marriage
• 804. Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun
• 805. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
• 806. May fortune favour the foolish.
• 807. May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world. The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.[Not a beacon of literacy
• 808. May you live all the days of your life.
• 809. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
• 810. Meat is murder. Fish is justifiable ichthyocide. Ken Johnson
• 811. Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself
• 812. Men and women
• 813. Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have lies in this; when I have a subject in hand
• 814. Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar
• 815. Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.
• 816. Men use thought only as authority for their injustice
• 817. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
• 818. Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
• 819. Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
• 820. Mistress (n): something which fits between a mister and a mattress.
• 821. Money is better than poverty
• 822. More irregular verbs: I address the issues
• 823. Mortal as I am
• 824. Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
• 825. Most of the luxuries
• 826. Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
• 827. Most people who succeed n the face of seemingly impossible conditions are people who simply don't know how to quit.
• 828. Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.
• 829. Mr. Churchill
• 830. Mr. Churchill
• 831. Mr. Hussein
• 832. Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.
• 833. My country right or wrong; when right
• 834. My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit
• 835. My desk is not messy! It's just decaying into a lower energy level faster than everyone else's.
• 836. My fellow Americans
• 837. My good friend Trevor Brookly...
• 838. My horse was in the lead coming down the homestretch
• 839. My house is made out of balsa wood
• 840. My pessimism goes to the point of suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
• 841. Nearly all men can stand adversity
• 842. Nearly everyone is in favour of going to heaven but too many are hoping they'll live long enough to see an easing of the entrance requirements.
• 843. Necessity is the mother of invention.
• 844. Negotiation may cost far less than war
• 845. Never appeal to a man's better nature. he might not have one. Anonymous
• 846. Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.
• 847. Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.
• 848. Never chase a lie. Let it alone
• 849. Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.
• 850. Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
• 851. Never fight an inanimate object.
• 852. Never hate you enemies
• 853. Never have sex with anyone in the office. Always wait until you get home.
• 854. Never judge a book by its movie.
• 855. Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.
• 856. Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
• 857. Never sign a contract with someone whom you need to sign a contract with
• 858. Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
• 859. Next to being shot at and missed
• 860. Nice guys finish last.
• 861. Nil Carborundum Illegitimi.
• 862. Nixon has been sitting in the White House while George McGovern has been exposing himself to the people of the United States. Frank Licht
• 863. No arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.
• 864. No evil is without its compensation. The less money
• 865. No fool can be silent at a feast.
• 866. No good deed goes unpunished.
• 867. No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did he would cease to be an artist.
• 868. No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature.
• 869. No legacy is so rich as honesty.
• 870. No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
• 871. No man knows what true happiness is until he gets married. By then
• 872. No man means all he says
• 873. No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself
• 874. No man's life
• 875. No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road
• 876. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
• 877. No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
• 878. No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
• 879. No person was ever honoured for what he received. Honour has been the reward for what he gave.
• 880. Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
• 881. Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.
• 882. Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
• 883. Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.
• 884. None are innocent. There are only those weak enough to believe they are
• 885. Normal is...spending all day in a sick building with windows that don't open and a thermostat that is seasonally dysfunctional in order to make the environment consistently comfy and user-friendly for the mainframe computer.
• 886. Not where I breathe
• 887. Note: I think it's interesting that of my five children both my fifteen year old daughter and her sixteen year old brother independently chose this as their favourite.
• 888. Nothing arouses more hope than the first four hours of a diet.
• 889. Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
• 890. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
• 891. Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men
• 892. Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
• 893. Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand
• 894. Nothing is more common than unfulfilled potential.
• 895. Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.
• 896. Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
• 897. Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.
• 898. Nothing is so aggravating than calmness.
• 899. Nothing is sufficient for the person who finds sufficiency too little.
• 900. Nothing like faecal incontinence to clear a room.
• 901. Nowadays
• 902. Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
• 903. Now
• 904. Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to succeed. Ronald ReaganO Lord
• 905. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
• 906. Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.
• 907. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
• 908. Obviously I didn't do better than last year. But I equalled it
• 909. Of all the things I've lost
• 910. Of course the US Constitution isn't perfect
• 911. Often
• 912. Okay
• 913. Oh! A wondrous bird is the Pelican ! His beak holds more than his belican. He stores in his beak
• 914. Oh
• 915. Oh
• 916. On behalf of all of you
• 917. On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.
• 918. On the edge of destiny
• 919. On the soft bed of luxury most kingdoms have expired.
• 920. On the whole human beings want to be good
• 921. One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
• 922. One essential to success is that you desire be an all-obsessing one
• 923. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.
• 924. One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.
• 925. One man with courage makes a majority.
• 926. One of the great arts of escaping superfluous uneasiness is to free our minds from the habit of comparing our conditions with those of life are more bountifully bestowed.
• 927. One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know.
• 928. One of the pleasantest things in the world is going on a journey; but I like to go by myself.
• 929. One ought to have a good memory when he has told a lie.
• 930. One should dies proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.
• 931. One sometimes finds advice about life in the oddest places. I saw a plastic bag the other day that warned me To avoid danger of suffocation
• 932. One was never married
• 933. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president
• 934. Only aim to do your duty
• 935. Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
• 936. Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.
• 937. Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
• 938. Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
• 939. Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence.
• 940. Opportunity does not knock
• 941. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls
• 942. Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
• 943. Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
• 944. Ossie said he was the man he wanted. I don't remember him from the World Cup but I am sure he impressed me.
• 945. Our high respect for a well-read man is praise enough of literature.
• 946. Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education.
• 947. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence
• 948. Over-seriousness is a warning sign for mediocrity and bureaucratic thinking. People who are seriously committed to mastery and high performance are secure enough to lighten up.
• 949. Patience and fortitude conquer all things.
• 950. Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
• 951. Peace: In international affairs
• 952. Peace is never a wall that separates
• 953. People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
• 954. People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.
• 955. People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good
• 956. People need religion. It's a vehicle for a moral tradition. A crucial role. Nothing can take its place.
• 957. People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.
• 958. People seldom know what they want until you give them what they ask for.
• 959. People who are against seats bemoan the lack of singing at Highbury but I remember 0-0 draws under Don Howe when there wasn't much singing either.
• 960. People who cannot recognise a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilisation.
• 961. People who know little are usually great talkers
• 962. People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
• 963. Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave. Ad slogan Pepsi Comes Alive as originally translated into Chinese
• 964. Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right than to be responsible and wrong.
• 965. Petty laws breed great crimes.
• 966. Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
• 967. Physics isn't a religion. If it were
• 968. Pick battles big enough to matter
• 969. Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women.
• 970. Plants do not have the power of locomotion except perhaps for kudzu.
• 971. Please don't ask me what the score is
• 972. Please provide the date of your death.
• 973. Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.
• 974. Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards
• 975. Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.
• 976. Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.
• 977. Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.
• 978. Possessions
• 979. Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret
• 980. Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
• 981. Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.
• 982. Practice is the best of all instructors.
• 983. Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment
• 984. Professor Anthony Clare: You were an only child. Do you know why? Uri Geller: My parents didn't have any other children.
• 985. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs
• 986. Proper behavior means always giving the appearance of unperturbed grace. This appearance is much easier to achieve if you really don't care about anything. This is why people always seem to be on their best behavior right before they commit suicide...
• 987. Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.
• 988. Prudence which degenerates into timidity is very seldom the path to safety.
• 989. Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
• 990. Public speaking is very easy.
• 991. Put not your trust in princes
• 992. Put two or three men in positions of conflicting authority. This will force them to work at loggerheads
• 993. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute
• 994. Psychiatrists say that one out of four people is mentally ill. Check three friends; if they're OK
• 995. Q: How do you spell onomatopoeia? A: The way it sounds. Anonymous
• 996. Q: What do you get when you cross an Ethernet with an income statement? A: A local area networth.
• 997. Quite frankly
• 998. Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; Drugs cause cramp; Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You may as well live.
• 999. Religious Views of Life: Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say
• 1000. Re: Neil Gaiman
• 1001. Reader
• 1002. Reading maketh a full man
• 1003. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
• 1004. Real poverty is less a state of income than a state of mind.
• 1005. Reason has moons
• 1006. Reason often makes mistakes
• 1007. Religion is a defense against the experience of God.
• 1008. Religion... is the opium of the masses.
• 1009. Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
• 1010. Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
• 1011. Results! Why
• 1012. Retraction: The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18 inch pizza and not a huge 18 inch penis
• 1013. Rewards and punishments are the lowest form of education.
• 1014. Rome was not implemented in a day.
• 1015. Roses are red
• 1016. Saint Valentine was martyred
• 1017. School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you.
• 1018. Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings.
• 1019. Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
• 1020. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it
• 1021. Sex without love is an empty experience
• 1022. Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices
• 1023. Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.
• 1024. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.
• 1025. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man
• 1026. Simply the thing I am shall make me live.
• 1027. Sin has many tools
• 1028. Since when was a genius found respectable ?
• 1029. æSir
• 1030. Skiing: the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.
• 1031. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
• 1032. So little done
• 1033. So unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else.
• 1034. Some call it evolution. And others call it God.
• 1035. Some men are born mediocre
• 1036. Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say Why not? Robert F. Kennedy
• 1037. Some people make things happen
• 1038. Some people march to the beat of a different drummer. And some people tango!
• 1039. Somehow liberals have been unable to acquire from birth what conservatives seem to be endowed with at birth: namely
• 1040. Something told Dorothy she wasn't in Kansas anymore. Maybe it was the colour of the sky; maybe it was the smell in the air; maybe it was the road sign that said
• 1041. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
• 1042. Sometimes democracy must be bathed in blood.
• 1043. Sorry
• 1044. Speaking much is a sign of vanity
• 1045. Spoken language is merely a series of squeaks.
• 1046. Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides.
• 1047. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
• 1048. Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive
• 1049. Status quo. Latin for the mess we're in. Anonymous
• 1050. Strength is a matter of the made-up mind.
• 1051. Strength lies not in defence but in attack.
• 1052. Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.
• 1053. Success in marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person.
• 1054. Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.
• 1055. Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
• 1056. Take a breath
• 1057. Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.
• 1058. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
• 1059. Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.
• 1060. Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.
• 1061. Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. the most terrifying thing is what people do want.
• 1062. Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.
• 1063. That government is best which governs least.
• 1064. That government is best which governs the least
• 1065. That's one small step for man
• 1066. The academic community has in it the biggest concentration of alarmists
• 1067. The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.
• 1068. The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that J. Danforth Quayle may or may not make.
• 1069. The art of becoming wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
• 1070. The avalanche has already started
• 1071. The basic difference between an ordinary person and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary person takes everything as a blessing or a curse.
• 1072. The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy
• 1073. The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done
• 1074. The best is the enemy of the good.
• 1075. The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life.
• 1076. The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.
• 1077. The Bible is not my book
• 1078. The big majority of Americans
• 1079. The breakfast of champions is not cereal
• 1080. The brighter you are
• 1081. The camera cannot lie. But it can be an accessory to untruth.
• 1082. The car has become an item of dress without which we feel uncertain
• 1083. The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at. George Bush
• 1084. The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.
• 1085. The Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic); the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive).
• 1086. The cheerful loser is the winner.
• 1087. The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom.
• 1088. The cook was a good cook
• 1089. The couple of times I've played with cornettos
• 1090. The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
• 1091. The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men
• 1092. The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy
• 1093. The decline of literature indicates the decline of a nation.
• 1094. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
• 1095. The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength
• 1096. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
• 1097. The destruction
• 1098. The doer alone learneth.
• 1099. The dwarf sees further than the giant
• 1100. The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
• 1101. The end of labour is to gain leisure.
• 1102. The English are a different race. They are never beaten because of their indestructible belief in their own superiority.
• 1103. The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
• 1104. The extreme always seems to make an impression.
• 1105. The farther back you can look
• 1106. The fewer the facts
• 1107. The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on.
• 1108. The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
• 1109. The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents
• 1110. The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.
• 1111. The fruit derived from labour is the sweetest of all pleasures.
• 1112. The future is like heaven - everyone exalts it
• 1113. The future will be better tomorrow.
• 1114. The genius of the American system is that through freedom we have created extraordinary results from plain ordinary people.
• 1115. The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.
• 1116. The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
• 1117. The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.
• 1118. The greater the power
• 1119. The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one.
• 1120. The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions
• 1121. The greatest threat towards future is indifference.
• 1122. The harder you work
• 1123. The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection
• 1124. The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic.
• 1125. The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
• 1126. The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
• 1127. The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity. The rest is overhead for the operating system.
• 1128. The human race has one really effective weapon
• 1129. The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
• 1130. The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
• 1131. The idea that 'the public interest' supersedes private interests and rights can have but one meaning: that the interests and rights of some individuals take precedence over the interests and rights of others.
• 1132. The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.
• 1133. The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
• 1134. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
• 1135. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
• 1136. The injury to a man
• 1137. The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.
• 1138. The issue of race could benefit from a period of benign neglect.
• 1139. The key to successful leadership today is influence
• 1140. The law is not a light for you or any man to see by; the law is not an instrument of any kind. The law is a causeway upon which so long as he keeps to it a citizen may walk safely. Robert Bolt
• 1141. The lawgiver
• 1142. The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed
• 1143. The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story
• 1144. The light at the end of the tunnel is usually a No Exit sign. Anonymous
• 1145. The little I know
• 1146. The longer I live
• 1147. The longer you stay in the mall
• 1148. The Lord's Prayer is 66 words
• 1149. The loss of life will be irreplaceable.
• 1150. The Loyalists say they won't just lie down and walk away. Dennis Murray
• 1151. The man who gets the most satisfactory results is not always the man with the most brilliant single mind
• 1152. The man who is denied the opportunity of taking decisions of importance begins to regard as important the decisions he is allowed to take.
• 1153. The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
• 1154. The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.
• 1155. The measure of a man is what he does with power.
• 1156. The mind has its own logic but does not often let others in on it.
• 1157. The missus says that if someone in the street doesn't recognise me
• 1158. The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is
• 1159. The more sins you confess
• 1160. The more things a man is ashamed of
• 1161. The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.
• 1162. The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.
• 1163. The most important thing about having goals is having one.
• 1164. The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat
• 1165. The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
• 1166. The most likely way for the world to be destroyed
• 1167. The most successful politician is he who says what everybody is thinking most often and in the loudest voice.
• 1168. The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.
• 1169. The nation will find it very hard to look up to the leaders who are keeping their ears to the ground.
• 1170. The National Debt is a very Good Thing and to pay it off would be dangerous
• 1171. The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap - and they know it.
• 1172. The nice thing about standards is
• 1173. The number you have dialled is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again.
• 1174. The office of government is not to confer happiness
• 1175. The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
• 1176. The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.
• 1177. The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.
• 1178. The only modest thing about Chris Eubank is his talent.
• 1179. The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
• 1180. The only reason we're seven-and-oh is because is because we've won all seven of our games.
• 1181. The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.
• 1182. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
• 1183. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.
• 1184. The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
• 1185. The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds
• 1186. The other day
• 1187. The paper burns
• 1188. The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.
• 1189. The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense
• 1190. The philosophy exam was a piece of cake - which was a bit of a surprise
• 1191. ôThe predicate here is more opennessö
• 1192. The President is going to benefit from me reporting directly to him when I arrive.
• 1193. The price of greatness is responsibility.
• 1194. The price works so well
• 1195. The principal fact of life is
• 1196. The purpose of time is to keep everything from happening at once. It's not working.
• 1197. The pursuit of perfection
• 1198. The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence
• 1199. The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
• 1200. The quickest and shortest way to crush whatever laurels you have won is for you to rest on them.
• 1201. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
• 1202. The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it not without doubt but in spite of doubt.
• 1203. The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
• 1204. The reward of a thing well done is to have it done.
• 1205. The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
• 1206. The road to success is always under construction.
• 1207. The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.
• 1208. The scientists split the atom; now the atom is splitting us.
• 1209. The secret of success is constancy to purpose.
• 1210. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
• 1211. The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once.
• 1212. The speed of time is one second per second.
• 1213. The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.
• 1214. The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures.
• 1215. The streets are safe in Philadelphia
• 1216. The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.
• 1217. The successful revolutionary is a statesman
• 1218. The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
• 1219. The superfluous
• 1220. The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.
• 1221. The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
• 1222. The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.
• 1223. The thing you really believe in always happens... and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
• 1224. The time to stop a revolution is at the beginning
• 1225. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it's natural manure.
• 1226. The trouble is
• 1227. The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win
• 1228. The true use of speech is not so much to express our wants as to conceal them.
• 1229. The truth is not always the same as the majority decision.
• 1230. The truth is rarely pure
• 1231. The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.
• 1232. The Twelve Months: Snowy
• 1233. The ultimate leader is one who is willing to develop people to the point that they surpass him or her in knowledge and ability. Fred A. Manske
• 1234. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort
• 1235. The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it
• 1236. The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.
• 1237. The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.
• 1238. The way to love anything is to realise that it might be lost.
• 1239. The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness
• 1240. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves
• 1241. The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.
• 1242. The world began without man
• 1243. The world is full of willing people; some willing to work
• 1244. The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them
• 1245. The young do not know enough to be prudent
• 1246. There are 11 men sitting on yellow cards and that is a very uncomfortable position to be in.
• 1247. There are a million ways to lose a work day
• 1248. There are four things that hold back human progress. Ignorance
• 1249. There are no ugly women
• 1250. There are some strings. They're just not attached.
• 1251. There are three kinds of lies: lies
• 1252. There are three types of people: those that can add up and those that can't.
• 1253. There are truths which are not for all men
• 1254. There are two kinds of light--the glow that illumines
• 1255. There are two kinds of truths: small truth and great truth. You can recognise a small truth because its opposite is a falsehood. The opposite of a great truth is another great truth.
• 1256. There are two schools of thought on Nostradamus: either (1) he had supernatural powers which enabled him to prophesy the future with uncanny accuracy
• 1257. There can be no justice so long as rules are absolute.
• 1258. There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail.
• 1259. There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.
• 1260. There has been in recent years excessive emphasis on a citizen's rights and inadequate stress put upon his duties and responsibilities.
• 1261. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love
• 1262. There is a Law that man should love his neighbor as himself. In a few years it should be as natural to mankind as breathing or the upright gait; but if he does not learn it he must perish.
• 1263. There is all the difference in the world between treating people equally and attempting to make them equal. While the first is the condition of a free society
• 1264. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
• 1265. There is an inverse relationship between reliance on the state and self-reliance.
• 1266. There is enough in the world for everyone's need
• 1267. There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.
• 1268. There is no distinctly American criminal class
• 1269. There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.
• 1270. There is no real wealth but the labour of man.
• 1271. There is no security on this earth. Only opportunity.
• 1272. There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.
• 1273. There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.
• 1274. There is nothing permanent except change.
• 1275. There is nothing wrong with Americans
• 1276. There is no such thing as a 'self-made' man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us
• 1277. There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving
• 1278. There is only one principle of war and that's this. Hit the other fellow
• 1279. There is only one sort of love
• 1280. There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about
• 1281. There is plenty of law at the end of a nightstick.
• 1282. There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.
• 1283. There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad its not a fence.
• 1284. There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
• 1285. There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true
• 1286. There's no future in time travel.
• 1287. There's no such thing as an over-engineered solution
• 1288. They always talk who never think
• 1289. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist
• 1290. They need help
• 1291. They talk most who have the least to say.
• 1292. They talk of the dignity of work. Bosh. The dignity is in leisure.
• 1293. They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
• 1294. They were offered the opportunity to examine the contents of Michael Atherton's trousers but declined.
• 1295. They x-rayed my head and found nothing. Jerome Dizzy Dean
• 1296. Things are not always what they seem.
• 1297. Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.
• 1298. Think with the wise
• 1299. This above all: to thine own self be true.
• 1300. This book has too much plot and not enough story.
• 1301. This calls for a special blend of psychology and extreme violence. Vyvyan
• 1302. This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!
• 1303. This is a great day for France! Richard Nixon
• 1304. This is not a book that should be cast aside lightly. It should be thrown away with great force.
• 1305. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
• 1306. This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet
• 1307. This will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.
• 1308. Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
• 1309. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
• 1310. Those who died asked for no conditions or guarantees; they gave everything and asked for nothing. Perhaps those of us left alive ask for too much and give too little.
• 1311. Those who have easy
• 1312. Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
• 1313. Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
• 1314. Those who would give up essential Liberty
• 1315. Though analogy is often misleading
• 1316. Though my soul may sit in darkness
• 1317. Thought for the day: What if there were no hypothetical situations?
• 1318. Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.
• 1319. Time is a great teacher
• 1320. Time is an illusion
• 1321. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.
• 1322. Time is the great legaliser
• 1323. Time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.
• 1324. Tis my opinion every man cheats in his way
• 1325. To act with my clothes on is a performance; to act with my clothes off is a documentary.
• 1326. Tobacco exports should be expanded aggressively because Americans are smoking less.
• 1327. To be a critic
• 1328. To be a winner
• 1329. To be loved
• 1330. To be sure of hitting the target
• 1331. To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.
• 1332. To commit the perfect crime
• 1333. To different minds
• 1334. To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.
• 1335. To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer.
• 1336. To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's responsibility as a free man.
• 1337. To know one thing
• 1338. To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.
• 1339. To succeed in life
• 1340. Today is the yesterday you worried about tomorrow.
• 1341. Tomorrow is often the busiest time of the year.
• 1342. Tongue: a variety of meat
• 1343. Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved.
• 1344. Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
• 1345. Trust Everybody
• 1346. Truth is our most valuable commodity - let us economise.
• 1347. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive
• 1348. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
• 1349. Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following a push-by shooting incident.
• 1350. Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
• 1351. Two wrongs don't make a right
• 1352. Unless you can find some sort of loyalty
• 1353. Verbosity leads to unclear
• 1354. Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins
• 1355. Victory comes from the Government
• 1356. Vigour is contagious
• 1357. Virtue is its own punishment.
• 1358. Voters quickly forget what a man says.
• 1359. Walter Mondale: George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologise. George Bush: Well
• 1360. War destroys men
• 1361. War has ended
• 1362. War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.
• 1363. War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.
• 1364. War will cease when men refuse to fight.
• 1365. Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
• 1366. Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war ?
• 1367. Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.
• 1368. Watch what people are cynical about
• 1369. Watership Down: You've read the book. You've seen the movie. Now eat the stew!
• 1370. We all perform...all the time
• 1371. We always love those who admire us
• 1372. We are all in the gutter
• 1373. We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
• 1374. We are here to add what we can to life
• 1375. We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the child at play.
• 1376. We are not abandoning our convictions
• 1377. We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
• 1378. We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.
• 1379. We are told that talent creates its own opportunities. But it sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities
• 1380. We can not expect to breed respect for law and order among people who do not share the fruits of our freedom.
• 1381. We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
• 1382. We compound our suffering by victimising each other.
• 1383. We do not inherit this land from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.
• 1384. We don't see things as they are
• 1385. We don't want to go back to tomorrow
• 1386. We expect them to work toward the elimination of human rights.
• 1387. We give up leisure in order that we may have leisure
• 1388. We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die
• 1389. We have a firm commitment to NATO
• 1390. We have done so much
• 1391. We have introduced something new into training at Spurs. Running.
• 1392. We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world - or to make it the last.
• 1393. We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
• 1394. We haven't had problems here about race. We just don't go for letting the coloured ones in.
• 1395. We hold these truths to be sacred and undeniable; that all men are created equal and independent
• 1396. We join ourselves to no party that does not carry the American flag
• 1397. We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.
• 1398. We love your adherence to democratic principles.
• 1399. We must face the fact that the preservation of individual freedom is incompatible with a full satisfaction of our views of distributive justice.
• 1400. We pray for MacArthur's erection. Sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo
• 1401. We promise according to our hopes
• 1402. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
• 1403. We win half the battle when we make up our minds to take the world as we find it
• 1404. We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
• 1405. We
• 1406. We're all capable of mistakes
• 1407. We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
• 1408. We're overpaying him but he's worth it.
• 1409. Wealth is not without its advantages
• 1410. Welcome to President Bush
• 1411. Welfare is the art of taking the money you've earned and giving it to someone who hasn't.
• 1412. Well-balanced meal: to have selected items from both the left and right sides of the vending machine.
• 1413. Well
• 1414. Well I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.
• 1415. Well done is better than well said.
• 1416. Were it offered to my choice
• 1417. What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
• 1418. What broke in a man when he could bring himself to kill another?
• 1419. What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
• 1420. What did you ask at school today?
• 1421. What does not destroy me
• 1422. What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car ?
• 1423. What doesn't kill me better be able to run damn fast.
• 1424. What experience and history teach is this - that people and governments never have learnt anything from history
• 1425. What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
• 1426. What is the difference between journalism and literature? Journalism is unreadable
• 1427. What is the meaning of life? Life has no meaning. It's just a fortunate coincidence of carbon chemistry. Forget about it.
• 1428. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
• 1429. What light is to the eyes--what air is to the lungs--what love is to the heart
• 1430. What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
• 1431. What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
• 1432. What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.
• 1433. What we call morals is simply blind obedience to words of command. Havelock Ellis
• 1434. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.
• 1435. Whatever you can do
• 1436. Whatever you do
• 1437. What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped?
• 1438. When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing
• 1439. When a man says he approves of something in principle
• 1440. When all else fails
• 1441. When all is said and done
• 1442. When angry
• 1443. When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A.
• 1444. When I use a word
• 1445. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
• 1446. When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one
• 1447. When in doubt
• 1448. When the going gets tough
• 1449. When one has been threatened with a great injustice
• 1450. When the president does it
• 1451. When the tide of life turns against you; And the current upsets your boat; Don't waste tears on what might have been; Just lie on your back and float.
• 1452. When the rich make war it's the poor that die.
• 1453. When wealth is lost
• 1454. When you are angry or frustrated
• 1455. When you get right down to it
• 1456. When you have completed 95% of your journey you are halfway there.
• 1457. When you have nothing important or interesting to say
• 1458. When you have nothing to say
• 1459. When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before.
• 1460. When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers
• 1461. Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery
• 1462. Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
• 1463. Whenever you see a successful business
• 1464. Where all men think alike
• 1465. Where liberty is
• 1466. Where self-interest is suppressed
• 1467. Where would we be without rhetorical questions?
• 1468. Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
• 1469. While money can't buy happiness
• 1470. While most peoples' opinions change
• 1471. While one person hesitates because he feels inferior
• 1472. Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
• 1473. Who knows what we live
• 1474. Who will not suffer labour in this world
• 1475. Who will protect the public when the police violate the law?
• 1476. Why can you only have two doors on a chicken coop? If it had four it would be a chicken sedan.
• 1477. Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres! Jerry Coleman
• 1478. Winners repeat frequently while the defeated are apt to be defeated almost continuously.
• 1479. Winning is not everything. It's the only thing.
• 1480. Wisdom denotes the pursuing of the best ends by the best means.
• 1481. Wise men never sit and wail their loss
• 1482. Without courage
• 1483. Women like silent men. They think they're listening.
• 1484. Women prefer Democrats to men.
• 1485. Wooing
• 1486. Words are
• 1487. Words divide us
• 1488. Work 8 hours
• 1489. Work expands so as to fill the time available for it's completion.
• 1490. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
• 1491. Writers must avoid clichÚs like the plague.
• 1492. Writing a book is like washing an elephant: there's no good place to begin or end
• 1493. Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
• 1494. You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
• 1495. You are only young once
• 1496. You can best reward a liar by believing nothing of what he says.
• 1497. You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
• 1498. You can fool all the people some of the time
• 1499. You can fool some of the people all of the time
• 1500. You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
• 1501. You can have brilliant ideas
• 1502. You can lead a horticulture
• 1503. You can never plan the future by the past.
• 1504. You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
• 1505. You can only live once
• 1506. You can outdistance that which is running after you
• 1507. You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans.
• 1508. You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
• 1509. You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do.
• 1510. You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.
• 1511. You cannot be a leader
• 1512. You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
• 1513. You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team
• 1514. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
• 1515. You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
• 1516. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
• 1517. You can't try to do things; you simply must do them.
• 1518. You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one.
• 1519. You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault
• 1520. You don't have to stay up nights to succeed; you have to stay awake days.
• 1521. You don't have to worry about me. I might have been born yesterday...but I stayed up all night.
• 1522. You either make dust or eat dust. H. Jackson Brown
• 1523. You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
• 1524. You manage things; you lead people.
• 1525. You may abuse a tragedy
• 1526. You simply must stop taking advice from other people.
• 1527. You will find it a very good practice always to verify your references
• 1528. You're only as good as the people you hire.
• 1529. Youth is a blunder
• 1530.

1. Reformatted for gjots from the original Psion files quotes.s5

from http://3lib.ukonline.co.uk/pocketinfo/index.html

by 

Bob Hepple bhepple@freeshell.org Nov 2002

2. A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.

Carl Sandburg

3. A bad casting call: Can't act. Can't sing. Balding. Can dance a little.

MGM exec (about Fred Astaire's screen test)

4. A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Robert Frost

5. A big man is one who makes us feel bigger when we are with him.

John C. Maxwell

6. A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.

Anonymous

7. A champion views resistance as a gift of energy.

Michael J. Gelb

8. A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.

Herbert Prochnow

9. A Classic is something that everyone wants to have read but nobody wants to read.

Mark Twain

10. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Anonymous

11. A committee is a group of the unwilling

12. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Douglas Adams

13. A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.

Henrik Ibsen

14. A Conservative Government is an organised hypocrisy.

Benjamin Disraeli

15. A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.

German Proverb

16. A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

Mahatma Gandhi

17. A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Oscar Wilde

18. A day without sunshine is like night.

Anonymous

19. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Frost

20. A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.

Francois Sagan

21. A failure is a man who has blundered

22. A feature is a bug with seniority.

Anonymous

23. A Frenchman must always be talking

24. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Anonymous

25. A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him

26. A goalscorer should let fly as soon as he sees the goal.

Steve Bloomer

27. A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.

John C. Maxwell

28. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.

Katharine Whitehorn

29. A good listener is not only popular everywhere

30. A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.

Jane Fonda

31. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

William James

32. A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning

33. A high-class horse could not win a race with a feather on his back if he is not in condition.

George E. Smith

34. A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Robert Frost

35. A law is valuable not because it is law

36. A leader is a dealer in hope.

Napoleon Bonaparte

37. A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go but ought to be.

Rosalynn Carter

38. A little Government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them.

P.J. O'Rourke

39. A little less complaint and whining

40. A little rebellion now and then is a good thing

41. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

J. Danforth Quayle

42. A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good

43. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

Zsa Zsa Garbor

44. A man is known by the books he reads.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

45. A man is measured by the size of things that anger him.

Geof Greenleaf

46. A man is the sum of his actions

47. A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.

Raymond Hitchcock

48. A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes

49. A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car

50. A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.

Napoleon Bonaparte

51. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.

Benjamin Franklin

52. A man's best friends are his ten fingers.

Robert Collyer

53. A man's feet should be planted in his country

54. A man's mother is his misfortune

55. A metaphor is like a simile.

Anonymous

56. A nuclear power plant is infinitely safer than eating

57. A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

58. A plausible impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Aristotle

59. A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

H. L. Mencken

60. A poor life this if

61. A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.

James A. Garfield

62. A precedent embalms a principle.

Benjamin Disraeli

63. A religion is a heresy with an adequate army.

Cariadoc

64. A rolling stone gathers momentum.

Anonymous

65. A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

Donald R. Perry Marquis

66. A ship is always referred to as she because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder. Chester Nimitz

67. A single death is a tragedy

68. A single fact can spoil a good argument.

Anonymous

69. A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.

Greek Proverb

70. A Stanford research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3

71. A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.

Sidney Greenberg

72. A visionary is one who can find his way by moonlight

73. A wise and frugal government

74. Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.

Ronald Reagan

75. Above all things I hope the education of the common people will be attended to

76. Absolute liberty is absence of restraint; responsibility is restraint; therefore

77. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.

William James

78. Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good

79. Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake

80. Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

Saki H.H. Munro

81. Advice to persons about to marry. Don't.

Punch

82. After you've done a thing the same way for two years

83. Again and again

84. Alcohol is a very necessary article....It makes life bearable for millions of people who could not endure it's existence if they were quite sober.

George Bernard Shaw

85. All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

George Orwell

86. All colours will agree in the dark.

Francis Bacon

87. All easy problems have already been solved.

Anonymous

88. All government

89. All life's answers are on TV.

Homer Simpson

90. All mankind loves a lover.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

91. All men are liable to error; and most men are

92. All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear

93. All men think all men are mortal but themselves.

Edward Young

94. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

Maurice Maeterlinck

95. All right

96. All the things I really like to do are either illegal

97. All this buttoning and unbuttoning.

Eighteenth Century suicide note

98. All we are saying is give peace a chance.

John Lennon

99. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

Oscar Wilde

100. All you have to do to protect yourself from radiation is to go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath.

David Miller

101. Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

Mark Twain

102. Always be a little kinder than necessary.

James M. Barrie

103. Always be nice to those younger than you

104. Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back.

Anonymous

105. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

106. Always do what you are afraid to do.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

107. Always go to other people's funerals

108. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done

109. Always question. Always analyse. But in the end

110. Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.

Anonymous

111. America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation.

Georges Clemenceau

112. America's abundance was not created by public sacrifices to æthe common good

113. Americans have different ways of saying things. They say elevator

114. Americans

115. An aristocracy in a republic is like a chicken whose head has been cut off; it may run about in a lively way

116. An armed society is a polite society.

Anonymous

117. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Laurence J. Peter

118. An Englishman

119. An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made

120. An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.

Anonymous

121. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.

Nicholas Murray Butler

122. An expert is a person who avoids small error as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.

Benjamin Stolberg

123. An honest politician is one who

124. An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.

Donald R. Perry Marquis

125. An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.

John Junor

126. Anarchy may not be the best form of government

127. And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.) Dave Barry

128. And now the sequence of events in particular order.

Dan Rather

129. And

130. And so

131. And when we think we lead

132. Any colour - so long as it's black.

Henry Ford

133. Any coward can sit in his home and criticise a pilot for flying into a mountain in a fog. But I would rather

134. Any fool can tell the truth

135. Any law that takes hold of a man's daily life cannot prevail in a community

136. Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its opponents blame it for the drought.

Dwight Morrow

137. Any shot that scores is a good shot.

Steve Bloomer

138. Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Anonymous

139. Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points

140. Anyone can count the seeds in an apple. No one can count the apples in a seed.

Anonymous

141. Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.

Al Capp

142. Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.

Leonardo Da Vinci

143. Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

Samuel Goldwyn

144. Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.

Edward R. Murrow

145. Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate.

Anonymous

146. Anything is possible. I have seen Bestie refuse a drink and I've seen Emlyn Hughes buy one.

Alan Ball

147. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.

Anonymous

148. Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Anonymous

149. Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies.

Anonymous

150. As a general rule

151. As a mother

152. As a rule

153. As long as people will accept crap

154. As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

Josh Billings

155. As of 1992

156. As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.

Hagar the Horrible

157. Ask a man which way he is going to vote

158. Asking æwho ought to be the boss' is like asking æwho ought to be the tenor in the quartet?' Obviously

159. Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.

George Bernard Shaw

160. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

George Jean Nathan

161. Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.

Mel Brooks

162. Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.

Yogi Berra

163. Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.

Aesop

164. Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most.

Anonymous

165. Be like a duck. Calm on the surface

166. Be polite to all

167. Be smarter than other people

168. Be wisely worldly

169. Beauty is only skin deep

170. Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

171. Because everyone uses language to talk

172. Because just as good morals

173. Before God we are equally wise - and equally foolish.

Albert Einstein

174. Before you kill something make sure you have something better to replace it with; something better than political opportunist slamming hate horse shit in the public park.

Charles Bukowski

175. Beginning today

176. Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are

177. Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

Andr Gide

178. Better an ounce of luck than a pound of gold.

Yiddish Proverb

179. Better by far you should forget and smile that you should remember and be sad.

Christina Rossetti

180. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln

181. Between two evils

182. Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.

Anonymous

183. Bite the wax tadpole.

Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese

184. Bobby Knight told me this: ``There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offence.'' In other words a good offence wins.

J. Danforth Quayle

185. Boys will be boys

186. Brain researchers estimate that your unconscious data base outweighs the conscious on an order exceeding ten million to one. This data base is the source of you hidden

187. Brevity is the best recommendation of speech

188. Brevity is the soul of wit.

William Shakespeare

189. Bumper sticker: Auntie Em: Hate you

190. Bumper sticker: DANGER! I drive like you do.

Anonymous

191. Business is like a wheelbarrow. Nothing ever happens until you start pushing.

Anonymous

192. But I'm not so think as you drunk I am.

Sir J. C. Squire

193. By and large

194. By the time you say you're his

195. By swallowing evil words unsaid

196. Call it what you will

197. Can God write a check for a sum so large that he can't cover it? I can. If God can't

198. Can heresy itself be a legitimate religion?

Nilakantha the Simple

199. Censorship

200. Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure

201. Chance favours the prepared mind.

Louis Pasteur

202. Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.

James A. Michener

203. Character is doing what's right when nobody's looking.

J.C. Watts

204. Character is much easier kept than recovered.

Thomas Paine

205. Character is power.

Booker T. Washington

206. Checks and balances does not mean writing the checks while ignoring the balances.

Anonymous

207. Cheer up! The worst is yet to come!

Philander Chase Johnson

208. Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Anonymous

209. Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?

Jules Feiffer

210. Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theatre.

Roman Polanski

211. Class has a sense of humour. It knows that a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations. Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes. Class bespeaks an aristocracy unrelated to ancestors or

Ann Landers

212. Class is how you treat people who can do nothing for you.

Geof Greenleaf

213. Clone

214. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Mark Twain

215. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

Anonymous

216. College isn't the place to go for ideas.

Hellen Keller

217. Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett

218. Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.

Samuel Coleridge

219. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Albert Einstein

220. Computer : a million morons working at the speed of light.

David Ferrier

221. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Anonymous

222. Computers can figure out all kinds of problems

223. Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job will cost.

Anonymous

224. Condense soup

225. Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favourable do nothing.

William Feather

226. Confusion is the welcome mat at the door of creativity.

Michael J. Gelb

227. Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

H. L. Mencken

228. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Anonymous

229. Conscious is when you are aware of something

230. Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

George Mikes

231. Conversation is one of the greatest pleasures of life. But it wants leisure.

W. Somerset Maugham

232. Copy from one

233. Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.

General George S. Patton

234. Courage is grace under pressure.

Ernest Hemingway

235. Courage is resistance to fear

236. Crazy people who are productive are geniuses. Crazy people who are rich are eccentric. Crazy people who are neither productive nor rich are just plain crazy. Geniuses and crazy people are both out in the middle of a deep ocean; geniuses swim

237. Crime does not pay... as well as politics.

A.E. Newman

238. Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word

239. Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Laurance Peter

240. Democracy is mob rule

241. Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will

242. Destiny is not a matter of chance

243. Did you ever expect a corporation to have a conscience

244. Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.

Wendell Phillips

245. Diligence is the mother of good luck.

Benjamin Franklin

246. Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice Doggie! till you can find a rock. Wynn Catlin

247. Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war

248. Do I not like that !

Graham Taylor

249. Do not follow where the path may lead....go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Anonymous

250. Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.

Vincent van Gogh

251. Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

252. Do you know what I like about the Irish team ? They are the only team to who come off at the end of the game and ask Who won ?. Spike Milligan

253. Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Steven Wright

254. Do your damnedest in an ostentatious manner all the time.

General George S. Patton

255. Dogs come when they are called. Cats have answering machines and may get back to you.

Anonymous

256. Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius.

Henri-Frederic Amiel

257. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Ann Landers

258. Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison

259. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Mark Twain

260. Don't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

Anonymous

261. Don't let school interfere with your education.

Mark Twain

262. Don't Panic.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

263. Dorothy MacMillian: ôWhat are you looking forward to now ?ö Madame de Gualle: ôA penisö General de Gualle: ôMy dear

264. Doubt is not a pleasant condition

265. Doubt is uncomfortable

266. Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.

Alfred Hitchcock

267. Drawing on my fine command of language

268. Due to budgetary restraints

269. Eagles don't flock - you have to find them one at a time.

H. Ross Perot

270. Economics is war pursued by other means.

Raymond F. DeVoe Jr.

271. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

Laurance Peter

272. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Will Duran

273. Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self confidence.

Robert Frost

274. Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

Nelson Mandela

275. Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.

B. F. Skinner

276. Education makes people easy to lead

277. Employ thy time well

278. England and America are two countries divided by a common language.

George Bernard Shaw

279. Eschew obfuscation.

Anonymous

280. Even if you're on the right track

281. Every absurdity has a champion to defend it

282. Every great mistake has a half-way moment

283. Every man I meet is in some way my superior.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

284. Every man is dishonest who lives upon the labour of others

285. Every revolutionary idea - in science

286. Every time history repeats itself the price goes up.

Anonymous

287. Every woman should marry - and no man.

Benjamin Disraeli

288. Everybody wants to go to heaven

289. Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill

290. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

Will Rogers

291. Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom.

Albert Einstein

292. Everything's in the mind. That's where it all starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.

Mae West

293. Evil will always triumph

294. Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared

295. Excellence in any department can be attained only by the labour of a lifetime; it is not to be purchased at a lesser price.

Samuel Johnson

296. Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.

W. Somerset Maugham

297. Excuses are like assholes

298. Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.

Alice Walker

299. Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.

Arnold Glasow

300. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

Dennis Wholey

301. Expenditure rises to meet income.

C. Northcote Parkinson

302. Experience is a dear teacher

303. Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.

Aldous Huxley

304. Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes.

Oscar Wilde

305. Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes

306. Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Aldous Huxley

307. Failing doesn't make you a failure. Giving up

308. Failing organisations are usually over-managed and under-led.

Warren G. Bennis

309. Failure is only postponed success as long as courage coaches ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory. Herbert Kaufman

310. Failure is the opportunity to begin again

311. Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move.

Anonymous

312. Far better is it to dare mighty things

313. Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them.

Robert Green Ingersoll

314. Fidelity purchased with money

315. Fight for your opinions

316. Fight organized crime: stamp out the IRS.

Anonymous

317. Figures won't lie

318. Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. H. Jackson Brown

319. Find expression for a sorrow and it will become dear to you. Find expression for a joy

320. Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.

Katherine Whitehorn

321. First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity: no really self-respecting woman would take advantage of it.

George Bernard Shaw

322. Football is the fourth most popular sport in America after American Football

323. For centuries

324. For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex ...uh...setbacks.

George Bush

325. For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.

William Ross Wallace

326. For NASA

327. Forgive your enemies

328. Form is transitory

329. Frank doesn't have to fight in January. There are 12 other months in the year.

Mickey Duff

330. Frank O'Conner grows on you

331. Free people

332. Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.

J. Krishnamurti

333. Freedom is being able to live with the consequences of your decisions.

James X. Mullen

334. Friendship is like money

335. From each according to his abilities

336. From the moment I picked it until the moment I laid it down

337. Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Wilson Mizner

338. Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience.

George-Louis De Buffon

339. Genius is one per cent inspiration

340. Genius may have its limitations

341. Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it

342. Get your facts first

343. Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

344. Give me control over a nation's currency

345. Give me six lines written by the most honourable of men

346. Give us the luxuries of life and we'll dispense with the necessaries.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

347. Given a choice between two theories

348. Go peacefully amongst the things. Edwina (Eddie) on ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS

349. Go to Heaven for the climate

350. God has been replaced

351. God

352. Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Mark Twain

353. Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee

354. Good executives never put off until tomorrow what they can get someone else to do today.

John C. Maxwell

355. Good government generally begins in the family

356. Good judgement comes from experience

357. Good leaders must first become good servants.

Robert Greenleaf

358. Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success.

Anonymous

359. Good order is the foundation of all things.

Edmund Burke

360. Good taste is better than bad taste

361. Goodwill and artillery will get you more than goodwill alone anytime.

Anonymous

362. Government cannot make us equal; it can only recognise

363. Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

Ronald Reagan

364. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves

365. Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.

Herodotus

366. Great is the art of beginning

367. Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree.

Ezra Pound

368. Guidelines for bureaucrats: When in charge; ponder; When in trouble; delegate; When in doubt; mumble.

James H. Boren

369. Gun control is hitting your target.

Andrew Beal

370. Guns are always the best method for a private suicide. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time.

P. J. O'Rourke

371. Half of the people in the world are below average.

Anonymous

372. Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get

373. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Jeff Pesis

374. Hartley's Second Law: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

Anonymous

375. Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.

J. Danforth Quayle

376. Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a - it is different than the other 49 states. Well

377. He didn't say that. He read what was given to him in a speech.

Richard Darman on George Bush

378. Happy campers you have been

379. He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.

Cicero

380. He first deceased; She for a little tried. To live without him; Liked it not

381. He found it inconvenient to be poor.

William Cowper

382. He has achieved success who has worked well

383. He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.

Anonymous

384. He laughs best who laughs last.

English Proverb

385. He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

Benjamin Franklin

386. He that hath a trade hath an estate; he that hath a calling hath an office of profit and honour.

Benjamin Franklin

387. He who asks is a fool for five minutes

388. He who hesitates is not only lost

389. He who loses control

390. He who opens a school door

391. He who talks much cannot talk well.

Carlo Goldoni

392. He's going to chance his arm with his left foot.

Trevor Brooking

393. He's still green behind the ears.

Congressman Cederberg of Michigan referring to a young attorney

394. Here lies a man who knew how to enlist the service of better men than himself.

Tombstone of Andrew Carnegie

395. Heresy is another word for freedom of thought.

Graham Greene

396. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

Billy Wilder

397. Hindsight is an exact science.

Anonymous

398. His doubts are better than most people's certainties.

Earl of Hardwicke

399. History is more or less bunk.

Henry Ford

400. History is not going to be kind to liberals. With their mindless programs

401. History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Napoleon Bonaparte

402. History suggests that Capitalism is a necessary condition for political freedom.

Milton Friedman

403. History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Abba Eban

404. Hitch your wagon to a star.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

405. Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

Thomas Jefferson

406. Hope is a good breakfast

407. Horses just naturally have mohawk haircuts.

Anonymous

408. How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?

Anonymous

409. How do you tell a communist? Well

410. How noble the law

411. How to store your baby walker: First

412. Humour is the shortest distance between two people.

Victor Borge

413. I am a great believer in luck

414. I am a jelly doughnut

English translation of John F. Kennedy speaking at the Berlin Wall

415. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W.C. Fields

416. I am honoured today to begin my first term as the Governor of Baltimore - that is Maryland. William Donald Schaefer

417. I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.

J. Danforth Quayle

418. I am not wanting to make too long speech tonight as I am knowing your old English saying

419. I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything

420. I am providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raisedà

Marion Barry Jr

421. I am ready to meet my maker

422. I am responsible only to God and history.

Francisco Franco

423. I am very patriotic. I've committed one crime in my life. John Walker

424. I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor

425. I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?

Jean Cocteau

426. I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.

H. L. Mencken

427. I believe in unions and I believe in non-unions.

George Bush

428. I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.

J. Danforth Quayle

429. I came

430. I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

Wilson Mizner

431. I cannot be fired. Slaves have to be sold.

Anonymous

432. I cannot give you the formula for success

433. I cannot live without books.

Thomas Jefferson

434. I conceive that a knowledge of books is the basis on which all other knowledge rests.

George Washington

435. I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

Steven Wright

436. I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake. J. Danforth Quayle

437. I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.

Abraham Lincoln

438. I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Mark Twain

439. I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm jut here for the drugs.

Nancy Reagan

440. I disapprove of what you say

441. I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible.

J. Danforth Quayle

442. I do not mind lying

443. I do not think that winning is the most important thing. I think it is the only thing.

Bill Veeck

444. I don't have to practice what I preach 'cause I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to!

The Book of The Subgenius

445. I don't know the key to success

446. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

447. I don't believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights

448. I don't even know what street Canada is on.

Al Capone

449. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen

450. I either want less corruption

451. I favour the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.

Ronald Reagan

452. I feel sorry for Cupid's mother. How'd you like to try to toilet-train an armed kid who can fly?

Anonymous

453. I forget what I was taught. I only remember what I've learnt.

Patrick White

454. I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.

John Locke

455. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life

456. I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

Harry S. Truman

457. I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Fred Allen

458. I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.

J. Danforth Quayle

459. I have often regretted my speech

460. I have one great fear in my heart

461. I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Oscar Wilde

462. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

Steven Wright

463. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Confucius

464. I hold it true

465. I hope I stand for anti-bigotry

466. I hope the referee's next crap is a hedgehog.

Mick McCarthy

467. I keep seeing lousy films and saying to myself

468. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought

469. I know that's a secret

470. I like a man who grins when he fights.

Sir Winston Churchill

471. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill

472. I like the silent church before the service begins

473. I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything

474. I like to give home-made gifts. Which one of the kids would you like?

Anonymous

475. I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation.

Samuel Osgood

476. I love Americans

477. I love California

478. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Douglas Adams

479. I may argue with my brother

480. I mean to live my life an obedient man

481. I never deny

482. I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.

Henry Ward Beecher

483. I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever

484. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

Albert Einstein

485. I place economy among the first and important virtues

486. I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process.

Benjamin Harrison

487. I sincerely believe... that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity under the name of funding is but swindling futurity on a large scale.

Thomas Jefferson

488. I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.

J. Danforth Quayle

489. I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders

490. I still miss my ex-wife

491. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Anonymous

492. I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

493. I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Jerry Seinfeld

494. I think that

495. I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary

496. I think

497. I think

498. I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job George Bush

499. I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session.

Gib Lewis

500. I want you to take your balls in your hand and bounce them on the floor and then throw them as high as you can. Now

501. I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said

502. I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.

Mark Twain

503. I was never less alone than when by myself.

Edward Gibbon

504. I was recently on a tour of Latin America

505. I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So

506. I will have no man work for me who has not the capacity to become a partner.

J.C. Penney

507. I wish it were possible to obtain a single amendment to our Constitution. I would be willing to depend on that alone for the reduction of the administration of our government; I mean an additional article taking from the Federal Government the power of bo

Thomas Jefferson

508. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Groucho Marx

509. I would bet that the Great San Francisco Glaucoma Epidemic of 1992 will be one for the history books.

Alan Furman

510. I would have made a good pope.

Richard Nixon

511. I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Ronald Reagan

512. I would like to express my sympathy to all those impacted by this disaster.

J. Danforth Quayle standing in front of the collapsed section of highway caused by the Loma Prieta quake.

513. I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it.

Thomas Jefferson

514. I would rather belong to a poor nation that was free than to a rich nation that had ceased to be in love with liberty.

Woodrow Wilson

515. I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.

John Keats

516. I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Anonymous

517. I'd rather live nowhere than in the suburbs of nowhere.

Lara Bliss

518. I'll get a life as soon as I can find the FTP site.

Anonymous

519. I'm enclosing a few densely written and colourfully printed sheets about the program

520. I'm hard-nosed about luck. I think it sucks. Yeah

521. I'm in favour of legalising drugs. According to my values system

522. I'm not against the blacks and a lot of the good blacks will attest to that. Evan Mecham

523. I'm so na´ve about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realised I didn't understand

524. I'm the consul for information

525. I've got a mind like a...what's that thing called that you use to strain spaghetti?

Anonymous

526. If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for

527. If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover

528. If a tree falls on a laboratory mouse

529. If all economists were laid end to end

530. If all men knew what others say of them

531. If all you have is a hammer

532. If anything goes bad

533. If at first you don't succeed

534. If God wanted me to touch my toes

535. If I ever needed a brain transplant

536. If I have a thousand ideas and only one turns out to be good

537. If I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough I would be convinced that we're in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed.

Ronald Reagan

538. If ignorance is bliss

539. If it ain't broke

540. If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind

541. If one man can be allowed to determine for himself what is law

542. If people really liked to work

543. If the blind lead the blind

544. If the car industry behaved like the computer industry over the last 30 years

545. If the children are untaught

546. If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough

547. If the human brain were so simple we could understand it

548. If the odds are a million to one against something occurring

549. If there is anything better than to be loved it is loving.

Anonymous

550. If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad

551. If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualise world peace for an hour

552. If we desire respect for the law

553. If we don't succeed

554. If you are never scared or embarrassed or hurt

555. If you are sure you understand everything that is going on

556. If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event

557. If you can count your money you don't have a billion dollars.

J. Paul Getty

558. If you can't stand the heat

559. If you can't convince them

560. If you could have a large sum of money

561. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble

562. If you don't make mistakes

563. If you hear an onion ring

564. If you judge poeple

565. If you like laws and sausages

566. If you love something

567. If you see a snake

568. If you sit down and don't see a fish at the table

569. If you think education is expensive

570. If you think nobody cares if you're alive

571. If you think you can

572. If you want to get a good idea

573. If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. John D. Rockefeller

574. If you want to succeed

575. If you were asked a hypothetical question

576. If you will tell me why the fen appears impassable

577. If you wish to be a success in the world

578. If you're not part of the solution

579. If

580. Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Robert Orben

581. Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.

J. Danforth Quayle

582. Imagination is more important than knowledge

583. If a free society cannot help the many who are poor

584. If it is to be

585. In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Laurence Peter

586. In a survey taken several years ago

587. In a way

588. In a world of private property

589. In all forms of government the people is the true legislator.

Edmund Burke

590. In an Orkin Exterminating Co. survey of what pests Pittsburghers fear most

591. In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.

Idi Amin Dada

592. In baiting a mouse-trap with cheese

593. In California

594. In case of fire

595. In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country

596. In every country and every age

597. In pioneer days they used oxen for heavy pulling

598. In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

Napoleon Bonaparte

599. In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence.

Cesar Chavez

600. In the fight between you and the world

601. In the great mass of our people there are plenty individuals of intelligence from among whom leadership can be recruited.

Herbert Hoover

602. In the long run we are all dead.

John Maynard Keynes

603. In theory

604. In this theatre of man's life

605. In this world

606. In time of war the first casualty is truth.

Boake Carter

607. In times like these

608. In war there is no substitute for victory.

General Douglas MacArthur

609. In years to come the phrase tight as Graham's Arsenal may replace the present colourful colloquialism describing someone reluctant to part with money. Paul Johnson

610. Include the success of others in your dreams for your own success.

Anonymous

611. Infinite patience brings immediate results.

Wayne Dyer

612. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Martin Luther King Jr.

613. Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. One defends when his strength is inadequate; he attacks when it is abundant.

Sun Tzu

614. Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.

T. H. Huxley

615. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?

Friedrich Nietzsche

616. Is the glass half empty

617. Is the word spec short for specification

618. Is tired old clichÚ one? Anonymous

619. It behoves every man who values liberty of conscience for himself

620. It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white

621. It is a bad plan that admits of no modification.

Publiius Syrus

622. It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data.

Arthur Conan Doyle

623. It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.

Sir Winston Churchill

624. It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability.

Ed La Rochfoucould

625. It is a sin to believe evil of others

626. It is always the best policy to tell the truth

627. It is amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit.

John Wooden

628. It is amazing how much people can get done if they do not worry about who gets the credit.

Sandra Swinney

629. It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

Harry S. Truman

630. It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.

Arthur Calwell

631. It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes

632. It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!

Emiliano Zapata

633. It is better to wear out than to rust out.

Richard Cumberland

634. It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Rod Serling

635. It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Alfred Adler

636. It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

Henry Louis Mencken

637. It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Mark Twain

638. It is good to be without vices

639. It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.

Thomas Jefferson

640. It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.

NiccolŸ Machiavelli

641. It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.

Seneca

642. It is not enough for a handful of experts to attempt the solution of a problem

643. It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.

Francis M. Voltaire

644. It is not the critic who counts

645. It is not true that life is one damn thing after another...It's one damn thing over and over.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

646. It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

647. It is only through labour and painful effort

648. It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

Clive James

649. It is said that God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions.

Francis M. Voltaire

650. It is the fight alone that pleases us

651. It is the mark of an inexperienced man not to believe in luck.

Joseph Conrad

652. It is the spirit and not the form of law that keeps justice alive.

Justice Earl Warren

653. It is true that liberty is precious - so precious that it must be rationed.

Nikolai Lenin

654. It is well that war is so terrible

655. It is what you learn after you know it all that counts.

John Wooden

656. It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

J. Danforth Quayle

657. It isn't the fact that the cats like to hang around while sex is going on that annoys me: it's those little score cards they hold up afterwards.

Folo

658. It isn't the incompetent who destroys an organisation. The incompetent never gets in a position to destroy it. It is those who have achieved something and want to rest upon their achievements who are forever clogging things up.

F.M. Young

659. It isn't the people you fire who make your life miserable

660. It isn't what they say about you

661. It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.

Arthur C. Clarke

662. It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Anonymous

663. It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday

664. It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant. Perdue chicken ad

665. It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.

Eddie Cantor

666. It was one of the things I was always going to take care of

667. It was only after their population of fifty mysteriously shrank to eight that the other seven dwarfs began to suspect Hungry.

Anonymous

668. It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology

669. It's a small world

670. It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs.

David Coleman

671. It's a tale of two systems

672. It's a very valuable function and requirement that you're performing

673. It's a well known fact that computing devices such as the abacus were invented thousands of years ago. But it's not well known that the first use of a common computer protocol occurred in the Old Testament. This

674. It's bad manners to apply cosmetics in public. It reminds people you need them...

P.J. O'Rourke

675. It's deja vu all over again.

Yogi Berra

676. It's evolution

677. It's great to be great but it's greater to be human.

William Rogers

678. It's hard to make a program foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Anonymous

679. It's hard to seize the day when you first have to grapple with the morning.

Anonymous

680. It's national clean-off-your-desk day. I think I found Elvis.

Anonymous

681. It's not that I object to people re-inventing the wheel; what gets to me is watching them re-invent the flat tire.

Todric

682. It's not what we don't know that hurts us

683. It's not your blue blood

684. It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

Tallulah Bankhead

685. It's the good loser who finally loses out.

Kin Hubbard

686. [It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.

J. Danforth Quayle

687. It's tough to make predictions

688. It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

Earl Weaver

689. Jaw

690. Jenny kissed me when we met

691. John Barrymore: you should play Hamlet. Jimmy Durante: To hell with them small towns. I'll stick to New York.

692. John Hollins has a very strong wife. It might have been better if I'd made her manager.

Ken Bates

693. Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Anonymous

694. Justice is incidental to law and order.

J. Edgar Hoover

695. Keep a stiff upper chin.

Samuel Goldwyn

696. Keep your head and your heart going in the right direction and you will not have to worry about your feet.

Anonymous

697. Kites rise highest against the wind; not with it.

Sir Winston Churchill

698. Knock

699. Labour is man's greatest function. He is nothing

700. Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability.

Flower A. Newhouse

701. Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone

702. Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

703. Language is only the instrument of science

704. Language is the armoury of the human mind

705. Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

706. Language is the dress of thought.

Samuel Johnson

707. Last night I dreamed I had insomnia. I woke up exhausted

708. Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

Victor Hugo

709. Laughter is the tonic

710. Laws that do not embody public opinion can never be enforced.

Elbert Hubbard

711. Laws were made to be broken.

Christopher North

712. Lead me

713. Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

Sam Levenson

714. Leaders get out in front and stay there by raising the standards by which they judge themselves - and by which they are willing to be judged.

Fredrick Smith

715. Leaders who win the respect of others are the ones who deliver more than they promise

716. Leadership is influence.

John C. Maxwell

717. Leadership is the other side of the coin of loneliness

718. Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

719. Learn and think imperially.

Joseph Chamberlian

720. Learn to say æno' to the good so you can say æyes' to the best.

John C. Maxwell

721. Legislators represent people

722. Leisure is a beautiful garment

723. Leisure is the mother of philosophy.

Thomas Hobbes

724. Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night.

George Allen

725. Let every nation know

726. Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is

727. Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity.

Louis Pasteur

728. Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

Mark Twain

729. Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Mark Twain

730. Liberty can not be preserved without a general knowledge among the people.

John Adams

731. Liberty consists in wholesome restraint.

Daniel Webster

732. Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

Will Rogers

733. Liberty is always dangerous

734. Liberty is the only thing you can't have unless you give it to others.

William Allen White

735. Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

George Bernard Shaw

736. Liberty

737. Life is 10% what you make it

738. Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving.

Michael J. Gelb

739. Life is a dead-end street.

H. L. Mencken

740. Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns. Charles Feidelson

741. Life is a tragedy for those who feel

742. Life is just one damned thing after another.

Elbert Hubbard

743. Life is like a cash register

744. Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute

745. Life is not worth living unless you have a choice of all the gloriously unhygienic things that mankind - especially the French portion of it - has lovingly created.

HRH Prince Charles

746. Life is the acceptance of responsibilities or their evasion

747. Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.

Samuel Butler

748. Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

749. Life is the continuous adjustment of internal relations to external relations.

Herbert Spencer

750. Life must be lived as play.

Plato

751. Life was simple before World War II. After that

752. Life

753. Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual.

Anonymous

754. Light is the first of painters. There is no object so foul that intense light will not make it beautiful.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

755. Light is the symbol of truth.

James Russell Lowell

756. Like winter snow on summer lawn

757. Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.

David Lodge

758. Literature is news that stays news.

Ezra Pound

759. Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice.

Cyril Connolly

760. Literature is the immortality of speech.

August Wilhelm von Schlegel

761. Literature is the orchestration of platitudes.

Thornton Wilder

762. Live the questions.

Rilke

763. Logic is neither a science nor an art

764. Logic is the anatomy of thought.

John Locke

765. Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.

Joseph Wood Krutch

766. Logic

767. Logic: an instrument used for bolstering a prejudice.

Elbert Hubbard

768. Looking for enlightenment is like looking for a flashlight when all you need the flashlight for is to find the flashlight.

Lew Welch

769. Loquacity and lying are cousins.

German Proverb

770. Lord

771. Lose an hour in the morning

772. Love built on beauty

773. Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.

Antoine de Saint-ExupÚry

774. Love gives itself; it is not bought.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

775. Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.

Francis M. Voltaire

776. Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over

777. Love is

778. Love is an act of endless forgiveness

779. Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

Lynda Barry

780. Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Robert Frost

781. Love is not blind - it sees more

782. Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.

Iris Murdoch

783. Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

W. Somerset Maugham

784. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

H. L. Mencken

785. Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young

786. Love: the delusion that one woman differs from another.

H. L. Mencken

787. Love's like the measles

788. Loyalty ... is a realisation that America was born of revolt

789. Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.

Woodrow Wilson

790. Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

Mark Twain

791. Luck is the residue of design.

Branch Rickey

792. Luxury is the first

793. Luxury may possibly contribute to give bread to the poor; but if there were no luxury

794. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Anonymous

795. Make voyages! Attempt them...there's nothing else.

Tennessee Williams

796. Man does not live by words alone

797. Man is not logical and his intellectual history is a record of mental reserves and compromises. He hangs on to what he can in his old beliefs even when he is compelled to surrender their logical basis.

John Dewey

798. Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

Mark Twain

799. Man will occasionally stumble over the truth

800. Man's mind

801. Mankind must put an end to war

802. Many times I find myself in a comfortable position - and I don't feel happy about it. It is...an enormous desire to go further

803. Marriage

804. Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun

805. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Anonymous

806. May fortune favour the foolish.

Captain James T. Kirk

807. May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world. The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.[Not a beacon of literacy

808. May you live all the days of your life.

Jonathan Swift

809. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Aldous Huxley

810. Meat is murder. Fish is justifiable ichthyocide. Ken Johnson

811. Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself

812. Men and women

813. Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have lies in this; when I have a subject in hand

814. Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar

815. Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

816. Men use thought only as authority for their injustice

817. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Susan Ertz

818. Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

Anonymous

819. Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Anonymous

820. Mistress (n): something which fits between a mister and a mattress.

Joe Lewis

821. Money is better than poverty

822. More irregular verbs: I address the issues

823. Mortal as I am

824. Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.

Aldous Huxley

825. Most of the luxuries

826. Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Abraham Lincoln

827. Most people who succeed n the face of seemingly impossible conditions are people who simply don't know how to quit.

Robert Schuller

828. Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.

Frank Zappa

829. Mr. Churchill

830. Mr. Churchill

831. Mr. Hussein

832. Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.

J. Danforth Quayle

833. My country right or wrong; when right

834. My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit

835. My desk is not messy! It's just decaying into a lower energy level faster than everyone else's.

Anonymous

836. My fellow Americans

837. My good friend Trevor Brookly...

Pele

838. My horse was in the lead coming down the homestretch

839. My house is made out of balsa wood

840. My pessimism goes to the point of suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.

Jean Rostand

841. Nearly all men can stand adversity

842. Nearly everyone is in favour of going to heaven but too many are hoping they'll live long enough to see an easing of the entrance requirements.

Anonymous

843. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Plato

844. Negotiation may cost far less than war

845. Never appeal to a man's better nature. he might not have one. Anonymous

846. Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.

Anonymous

847. Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.

Anonymous

848. Never chase a lie. Let it alone

849. Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.

Mathew Browne

850. Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.

Elbert Hubbard

851. Never fight an inanimate object.

P. J. O'Rourke

852. Never hate you enemies

853. Never have sex with anyone in the office. Always wait until you get home.

Anonymous

854. Never judge a book by its movie.

J.W. Eagan

855. Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.

Nelson Algren

856. Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.

Anonymous

857. Never sign a contract with someone whom you need to sign a contract with

858. Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

General George S. Patton

859. Next to being shot at and missed

860. Nice guys finish last.

Manager of Brooklyn Dodgers

861. Nil Carborundum Illegitimi.

Anonymous

862. Nixon has been sitting in the White House while George McGovern has been exposing himself to the people of the United States. Frank Licht

863. No arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.

Ronald Reagan

864. No evil is without its compensation. The less money

865. No fool can be silent at a feast.

Solon

866. No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce

867. No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did he would cease to be an artist.

Oscar Wilde

868. No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

869. No legacy is so rich as honesty.

William Shakespeare

870. No man is rich enough to buy back his past.

Oscar Wilde

871. No man knows what true happiness is until he gets married. By then

872. No man means all he says

873. No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself

874. No man's life

875. No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road

876. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

877. No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

H. L. Mencken

878. No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.

Bertrand Russell

879. No person was ever honoured for what he received. Honour has been the reward for what he gave.

Calvin Coolidge

880. Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

Ron Nesen

881. Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.

Sydney Harris

882. Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

Joe Theismann

883. Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

Anonymous

884. None are innocent. There are only those weak enough to believe they are

885. Normal is...spending all day in a sick building with windows that don't open and a thermostat that is seasonally dysfunctional in order to make the environment consistently comfy and user-friendly for the mainframe computer.

Ellen Goodman

886. Not where I breathe

887. Note: I think it's interesting that of my five children both my fifteen year old daughter and her sixteen year old brother independently chose this as their favourite.

Anonymous

888. Nothing arouses more hope than the first four hours of a diet.

Anonymous

889. Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.

Thomas Jefferson

890. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

891. Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men

892. Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

Martin Luther King

893. Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand

894. Nothing is more common than unfulfilled potential.

Howard Hendricks

895. Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

896. Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.

Henry Ford

897. Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.

John Kenneth Galbraith

898. Nothing is so aggravating than calmness.

Oscar Wilde

899. Nothing is sufficient for the person who finds sufficiency too little.

Epicurus

900. Nothing like faecal incontinence to clear a room.

Anonymous

901. Nowadays

902. Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Kin Hubbard

903. Now

904. Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to succeed. Ronald ReaganO Lord

905. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

Anonymous

906. Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.

E. Joseph Cossman

907. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

Hannah More

908. Obviously I didn't do better than last year. But I equalled it

909. Of all the things I've lost

910. Of course the US Constitution isn't perfect

911. Often

912. Okay

913. Oh! A wondrous bird is the Pelican ! His beak holds more than his belican. He stores in his beak

914. Oh

915. Oh

916. On behalf of all of you

917. On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

George Mikes

918. On the edge of destiny

919. On the soft bed of luxury most kingdoms have expired.

Edward Young

920. On the whole human beings want to be good

921. One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.

AndrÚ Gide

922. One essential to success is that you desire be an all-obsessing one

923. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.

H. L. Mencken

924. One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.

Antonio Porchia

925. One man with courage makes a majority.

Andrew Jackson

926. One of the great arts of escaping superfluous uneasiness is to free our minds from the habit of comparing our conditions with those of life are more bountifully bestowed.

Anonymous

927. One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know.

John Kenneth Galbraith

928. One of the pleasantest things in the world is going on a journey; but I like to go by myself.

William Hazlitt

929. One ought to have a good memory when he has told a lie.

Corneille

930. One should dies proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.

Friedrich Nietzsche

931. One sometimes finds advice about life in the oddest places. I saw a plastic bag the other day that warned me To avoid danger of suffocation

932. One was never married

933. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president

934. Only aim to do your duty

935. Only the winners decide what were war crimes.

Gary Wills

936. Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.

AndrÚ Gide

937. Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

Robert F. Kennedy

938. Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

T.S. Eliot

939. Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence.

Hebrew Proverb

940. Opportunity does not knock

941. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls

942. Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Sign in tailors

943. Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Laurance Peter

944. Ossie said he was the man he wanted. I don't remember him from the World Cup but I am sure he impressed me.

Alan Sugar

945. Our high respect for a well-read man is praise enough of literature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

946. Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education.

John F. Kennedy

947. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence

948. Over-seriousness is a warning sign for mediocrity and bureaucratic thinking. People who are seriously committed to mastery and high performance are secure enough to lighten up.

Michael J. Gelb

949. Patience and fortitude conquer all things.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

950. Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

Samuel Johnson

951. Peace: In international affairs

952. Peace is never a wall that separates

953. People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

Joseph F. Newton

954. People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.

John C. Maxwell

955. People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good

956. People need religion. It's a vehicle for a moral tradition. A crucial role. Nothing can take its place.

Irving Kristol

957. People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.

J. Danforth Quayle

958. People seldom know what they want until you give them what they ask for.

Anonymous

959. People who are against seats bemoan the lack of singing at Highbury but I remember 0-0 draws under Don Howe when there wasn't much singing either.

Boyd Hilton

960. People who cannot recognise a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilisation.

Agnes Repplier

961. People who know little are usually great talkers

962. People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.

Anonymous

963. Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave. Ad slogan Pepsi Comes Alive as originally translated into Chinese

964. Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right than to be responsible and wrong.

Winston Churchill

965. Petty laws breed great crimes.

Ouida

966. Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Anonymous

967. Physics isn't a religion. If it were

968. Pick battles big enough to matter

969. Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women.

Katherine Hepburn

970. Plants do not have the power of locomotion except perhaps for kudzu.

Anonymous

971. Please don't ask me what the score is

972. Please provide the date of your death.

IRS form.

973. Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.

Nikita Khruschev

974. Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards

975. Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

John Kenneth Galbraith

976. Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.

Mao Zedong

977. Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.

Richard Nixon

978. Possessions

979. Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret

980. Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Lord Acton

981. Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

J.P. McEvoy

982. Practice is the best of all instructors.

Publilius Syrus

983. Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment

984. Professor Anthony Clare: You were an only child. Do you know why? Uri Geller: My parents didn't have any other children.

985. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs

986. Proper behavior means always giving the appearance of unperturbed grace. This appearance is much easier to achieve if you really don't care about anything. This is why people always seem to be on their best behavior right before they commit suicide...

Anonymous

987. Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.

William Hazlitt

988. Prudence which degenerates into timidity is very seldom the path to safety.

Viscount Cecil

989. Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Boies Penrose

990. Public speaking is very easy.

J. Danforth Quayle

991. Put not your trust in princes

992. Put two or three men in positions of conflicting authority. This will force them to work at loggerheads

993. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute

994. Psychiatrists say that one out of four people is mentally ill. Check three friends; if they're OK

995. Q: How do you spell onomatopoeia? A: The way it sounds. Anonymous

996. Q: What do you get when you cross an Ethernet with an income statement? A: A local area networth.

Anonymous

997. Quite frankly

998. Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; Drugs cause cramp; Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You may as well live.

Dorothy Parker

999. Religious Views of Life: Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say

1000. Re: Neil Gaiman

1001. Reader

1002. Reading maketh a full man

1003. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.

Confucius

1004. Real poverty is less a state of income than a state of mind.

George Gilder

1005. Reason has moons

1006. Reason often makes mistakes

1007. Religion is a defense against the experience of God.

Carl Jung

1008. Religion... is the opium of the masses.

Karl Marx

1009. Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

John Carlson

1010. Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

 J. Danforth Quayle

1011. Results! Why

1012. Retraction: The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18 inch pizza and not a huge 18 inch penis

1013. Rewards and punishments are the lowest form of education.

Chuang-Tzu

1014. Rome was not implemented in a day.

Anonymous

1015. Roses are red

1016. Saint Valentine was martyred

1017. School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you.

John Updike

1018. Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings.

Helen Keller

1019. Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.

Muhammad Ali

1020. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it

1021. Sex without love is an empty experience

1022. Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices

1023. Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

1024. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.

Les Brown

1025. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man

1026. Simply the thing I am shall make me live.

William Shakespeare

1027. Sin has many tools

1028. Since when was a genius found respectable ?

Elizabeth Barret Browning

1029. æSir

1030. Skiing: the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.

Anonymous

1031. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Fletcher Knebel

1032. So little done

1033. So unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else.

Don Marquis

1034. Some call it evolution. And others call it God.

William H. Carruth

1035. Some men are born mediocre

1036. Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say Why not? Robert F. Kennedy

1037. Some people make things happen

1038. Some people march to the beat of a different drummer. And some people tango!

Anonymous

1039. Somehow liberals have been unable to acquire from birth what conservatives seem to be endowed with at birth: namely

1040. Something told Dorothy she wasn't in Kansas anymore. Maybe it was the colour of the sky; maybe it was the smell in the air; maybe it was the road sign that said

1041. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Sigmund Freud

1042. Sometimes democracy must be bathed in blood.

Augusto Pinochet

1043. Sorry

1044. Speaking much is a sign of vanity

1045. Spoken language is merely a series of squeaks.

Alfred North Whitehead

1046. Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides.

Margaret Thatcher

1047. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W.C. Fields

1048. Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive

1049. Status quo. Latin for the mess we're in. Anonymous

1050. Strength is a matter of the made-up mind.

John Beecher

1051. Strength lies not in defence but in attack.

Adolf Hitler

1052. Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.

George Bernard Shaw

1053. Success in marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person.

Anonymous

1054. Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.

Adolf Hitler

1055. Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Abraham Lincoln

1056. Take a breath

1057. Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.

Erica Jong

1058. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Euripides

1059. Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

Anonymous

1060. Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.

Ernie Kovacs

1061. Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. the most terrifying thing is what people do want.

Clive Barnes

1062. Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.

Napoleon Bonaparte

1063. That government is best which governs least.

Henry David Thoreau

1064. That government is best which governs the least

1065. That's one small step for man

1066. The academic community has in it the biggest concentration of alarmists

1067. The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.

Thomas Jefferson

1068. The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that J. Danforth Quayle may or may not make.

J. Danforth Quayle

1069. The art of becoming wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

William James

1070. The avalanche has already started

1071. The basic difference between an ordinary person and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary person takes everything as a blessing or a curse.

Carlos Castaneda

1072. The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy

1073. The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done

1074. The best is the enemy of the good.

Francis M. Voltaire

1075. The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life.

William James

1076. The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.

Abraham Lincoln

1077. The Bible is not my book

1078. The big majority of Americans

1079. The breakfast of champions is not cereal

1080. The brighter you are

1081. The camera cannot lie. But it can be an accessory to untruth.

Harold Evans

1082. The car has become an item of dress without which we feel uncertain

1083. The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at. George Bush

1084. The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.

Ashleigh Brilliant

1085. The Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic); the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive).

W.C.Sellar & R.J.Yeatman

1086. The cheerful loser is the winner.

Elbert Hubbard

1087. The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom.

Cyril Parkinson

1088. The cook was a good cook

1089. The couple of times I've played with cornettos

1090. The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Ellen Parr

1091. The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men

1092. The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy

1093. The decline of literature indicates the decline of a nation.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

1094. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.

William James

1095. The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength

1096. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen

1097. The destruction

1098. The doer alone learneth.

Friedrich Nietzsche

1099. The dwarf sees further than the giant

1100. The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

R. Buckminster Fuller

1101. The end of labour is to gain leisure.

Aristotle

1102. The English are a different race. They are never beaten because of their indestructible belief in their own superiority.

Giampiero Boniperti

1103. The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.

Oscar Wilde

1104. The extreme always seems to make an impression.

Heathers

1105. The farther back you can look

1106. The fewer the facts

1107. The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on.

Walter Lippmann

1108. The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Abbie Hoffman

1109. The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents

1110. The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.

Milo Bloom

1111. The fruit derived from labour is the sweetest of all pleasures.

Luc de Clapiers

1112. The future is like heaven - everyone exalts it

1113. The future will be better tomorrow.

J. Danforth Quayle

1114. The genius of the American system is that through freedom we have created extraordinary results from plain ordinary people.

Senator Phil Gramm

1115. The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.

Anonymous

1116. The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

George Bernard Shaw

1117. The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.

Adolf Hitler

1118. The greater the power

1119. The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one.

Elbert Hubbard

1120. The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions

1121. The greatest threat towards future is indifference.

Anonymous

1122. The harder you work

1123. The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection

1124. The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic.

William E Gladstone

1125. The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

Anonymous

1126. The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.

J. Danforth Quayle

1127. The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity. The rest is overhead for the operating system.

Anonymous

1128. The human race has one really effective weapon

1129. The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

Anonymous

1130. The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

Mother Teresa

1131. The idea that 'the public interest' supersedes private interests and rights can have but one meaning: that the interests and rights of some individuals take precedence over the interests and rights of others.

Ayn Rand

1132. The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

Henry Kissinger

1133. The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.

Aaron Machado

1134. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein

1135. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.

Sir Winston Churchill

1136. The injury to a man

1137. The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

1138. The issue of race could benefit from a period of benign neglect.

Daniel Moynihan

1139. The key to successful leadership today is influence

1140. The law is not a light for you or any man to see by; the law is not an instrument of any kind. The law is a causeway upon which so long as he keeps to it a citizen may walk safely. Robert Bolt

1141. The lawgiver

1142. The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed

1143. The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story

1144. The light at the end of the tunnel is usually a No Exit sign. Anonymous

1145. The little I know

1146. The longer I live

1147. The longer you stay in the mall

1148. The Lord's Prayer is 66 words

1149. The loss of life will be irreplaceable.

J. Danforth Quayle (after the San Francisco earthquake)

1150. The Loyalists say they won't just lie down and walk away. Dennis Murray

1151. The man who gets the most satisfactory results is not always the man with the most brilliant single mind

1152. The man who is denied the opportunity of taking decisions of importance begins to regard as important the decisions he is allowed to take.

C. Northcote Parkinson

1153. The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.

Thomas Jefferson

1154. The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.

Chinese Proverb

1155. The measure of a man is what he does with power.

Pittacus

1156. The mind has its own logic but does not often let others in on it.

Bernard de Voto

1157. The missus says that if someone in the street doesn't recognise me

1158. The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is

1159. The more sins you confess

1160. The more things a man is ashamed of

1161. The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.

Zig Ziglar

1162. The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.

Theodore Roosevelt

1163. The most important thing about having goals is having one.

Geoffrey F. Abert

1164. The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat

1165. The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Albert Einstein

1166. The most likely way for the world to be destroyed

1167. The most successful politician is he who says what everybody is thinking most often and in the loudest voice.

Theodore Roosevelt

1168. The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.

Anonymous

1169. The nation will find it very hard to look up to the leaders who are keeping their ears to the ground.

Winston Churchill

1170. The National Debt is a very Good Thing and to pay it off would be dangerous

1171. The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap - and they know it.

Fred Friendly

1172. The nice thing about standards is

1173. The number you have dialled is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again.

Anonymous

1174. The office of government is not to confer happiness

1175. The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

H. L. Mencken

1176. The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.

Anonymous

1177. The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.

Salvador Dali

1178. The only modest thing about Chris Eubank is his talent.

Simon Barnes

1179. The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Donald Kendall

1180. The only reason we're seven-and-oh is because is because we've won all seven of our games.

Dave Garcia

1181. The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

Wilson Mizner

1182. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

1183. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Anonymous

1184. The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

James Branch Cabell

1185. The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds

1186. The other day

1187. The paper burns

1188. The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.

L. P. Hartley

1189. The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense

1190. The philosophy exam was a piece of cake - which was a bit of a surprise

1191. ôThe predicate here is more opennessö

1192. The President is going to benefit from me reporting directly to him when I arrive.

J. Danforth Quayle speaking to oil spill clean-up workers at Prince William Sound

1193. The price of greatness is responsibility.

Sir Winston Churchill

1194. The price works so well

1195. The principal fact of life is

1196. The purpose of time is to keep everything from happening at once. It's not working.

Anonymous

1197. The pursuit of perfection

1198. The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence

1199. The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

E. W. Dijkstra

1200. The quickest and shortest way to crush whatever laurels you have won is for you to rest on them.

Donald P. Jones

1201. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

George Bernard Shaw

1202. The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it not without doubt but in spite of doubt.

Rollo May

1203. The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

Albert Einstein

1204. The reward of a thing well done is to have it done.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

1205. The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Hubert H. Humphrey

1206. The road to success is always under construction.

Jim Miller

1207. The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Professor J.K.Galbraith

1208. The scientists split the atom; now the atom is splitting us.

Quentin Reynolds

1209. The secret of success is constancy to purpose.

Benjamin Franklin

1210. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

Jean Giraudoux

1211. The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once.

Samuel Smiles

1212. The speed of time is one second per second.

Anonymous

1213. The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.

Thomas Jefferson

1214. The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures.

Jutice Earl Warren

1215. The streets are safe in Philadelphia

1216. The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.

Henrik Ibsen

1217. The successful revolutionary is a statesman

1218. The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.

Steven Wright

1219. The superfluous

1220. The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.

Thomas Wolfe

1221. The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

1222. The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

1223. The thing you really believe in always happens... and the belief in a thing makes it happen.

Frank Lloyd Wright

1224. The time to stop a revolution is at the beginning

1225. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it's natural manure.

Thomas Jefferson

1226. The trouble is

1227. The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win

1228. The true use of speech is not so much to express our wants as to conceal them.

Oliver Goldsmith

1229. The truth is not always the same as the majority decision.

Pope Jean Paul

1230. The truth is rarely pure

1231. The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.

H. L. Mencken

1232. The Twelve Months: Snowy

1233. The ultimate leader is one who is willing to develop people to the point that they surpass him or her in knowledge and ability. Fred A. Manske

1234. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort

1235. The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it

1236. The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.

Adolf Hitler

1237. The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.

William Jennings Bryan

1238. The way to love anything is to realise that it might be lost.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

1239. The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness

1240. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves

1241. The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.

Reggie Jackson

1242. The world began without man

1243. The world is full of willing people; some willing to work

1244. The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them

1245. The young do not know enough to be prudent

1246. There are 11 men sitting on yellow cards and that is a very uncomfortable position to be in.

John Motson

1247. There are a million ways to lose a work day

1248. There are four things that hold back human progress. Ignorance

1249. There are no ugly women

1250. There are some strings. They're just not attached.

Anonymous

1251. There are three kinds of lies: lies

1252. There are three types of people: those that can add up and those that can't.

Anonymous

1253. There are truths which are not for all men

1254. There are two kinds of light--the glow that illumines

1255. There are two kinds of truths: small truth and great truth. You can recognise a small truth because its opposite is a falsehood. The opposite of a great truth is another great truth.

Niels Bohr

1256. There are two schools of thought on Nostradamus: either (1) he had supernatural powers which enabled him to prophesy the future with uncanny accuracy

1257. There can be no justice so long as rules are absolute.

Patrick Stewart

1258. There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail.

Eric Hoffer

1259. There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.

Anonymous

1260. There has been in recent years excessive emphasis on a citizen's rights and inadequate stress put upon his duties and responsibilities.

Paxton Blair

1261. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love

1262. There is a Law that man should love his neighbor as himself. In a few years it should be as natural to mankind as breathing or the upright gait; but if he does not learn it he must perish.

Alfred Adler

1263. There is all the difference in the world between treating people equally and attempting to make them equal. While the first is the condition of a free society

1264. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

Nietzsche

1265. There is an inverse relationship between reliance on the state and self-reliance.

William F. Buckley Jr.

1266. There is enough in the world for everyone's need

1267. There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.

Bertrand Russell

1268. There is no distinctly American criminal class

1269. There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.

John Andrew Holmes

1270. There is no real wealth but the labour of man.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

1271. There is no security on this earth. Only opportunity.

General Douglas MacArthur

1272. There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.

William James

1273. There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.

Swift

1274. There is nothing permanent except change.

Heraclitus

1275. There is nothing wrong with Americans

1276. There is no such thing as a 'self-made' man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us

1277. There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving

1278. There is only one principle of war and that's this. Hit the other fellow

1279. There is only one sort of love

1280. There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about

1281. There is plenty of law at the end of a nightstick.

Grover A. Whalen

1282. There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.

John Erskine

1283. There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad its not a fence.

Anonymous

1284. There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

Anonymous

1285. There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true

1286. There's no future in time travel.

Anonymous

1287. There's no such thing as an over-engineered solution

1288. They always talk who never think

1289. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist

Army Officer

1290. They need help

1291. They talk most who have the least to say.

Mathew Prior

1292. They talk of the dignity of work. Bosh. The dignity is in leisure.

Herman Melville

1293. They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

Benjamin Franklin

1294. They were offered the opportunity to examine the contents of Michael Atherton's trousers but declined.

Ray Illingworth

1295. They x-rayed my head and found nothing. Jerome Dizzy Dean

1296. Things are not always what they seem.

Phaedrus

1297. Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.

William Butler Yeats

1298. Think with the wise

1299. This above all: to thine own self be true.

William Shakespeare

1300. This book has too much plot and not enough story.

Samuel Goldwyn

1301. This calls for a special blend of psychology and extreme violence. Vyvyan

1302. This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!

J. Danforth Quayle

1303. This is a great day for France! Richard Nixon

1304. This is not a book that should be cast aside lightly. It should be thrown away with great force.

Dorothy Parker

1305. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.

T. S. Eliot

1306. This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet

1307. This will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.

Elmer Davis

1308. Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.

James Matthew Barrie

1309. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

George Santayana

1310. Those who died asked for no conditions or guarantees; they gave everything and asked for nothing. Perhaps those of us left alive ask for too much and give too little.

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother

1311. Those who have easy

1312. Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

John F. Kennedy

1313. Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.

Alex Hamilton

1314. Those who would give up essential Liberty

1315. Though analogy is often misleading

1316. Though my soul may sit in darkness

1317. Thought for the day: What if there were no hypothetical situations?

Anonymous

1318. Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.

Benjamin Franklin

1319. Time is a great teacher

1320. Time is an illusion

1321. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.

Anonymous

1322. Time is the great legaliser

1323. Time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

C. Northcote Parkinson

1324. Tis my opinion every man cheats in his way

1325. To act with my clothes on is a performance; to act with my clothes off is a documentary.

Julia Roberts

1326. Tobacco exports should be expanded aggressively because Americans are smoking less.

J. Danforth Quayle

1327. To be a critic

1328. To be a winner

1329. To be loved

1330. To be sure of hitting the target

1331. To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.

Bertrand Russell

1332. To commit the perfect crime

1333. To different minds

1334. To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.

Theodore Roosevelt

1335. To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Anonymous

1336. To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's responsibility as a free man.

Alan Paton

1337. To know one thing

1338. To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.

Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibnitz

1339. To succeed in life

1340. Today is the yesterday you worried about tomorrow.

Anonymous

1341. Tomorrow is often the busiest time of the year.

Spanish Proverb

1342. Tongue: a variety of meat

1343. Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved.

Anonymous

1344. Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

Mae West

1345. Trust Everybody

1346. Truth is our most valuable commodity - let us economise.

Mark Twain

1347. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive

1348. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

1349. Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following a push-by shooting incident.

Anonymous

1350. Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.

Polish proverb

1351. Two wrongs don't make a right

1352. Unless you can find some sort of loyalty

1353. Verbosity leads to unclear

1354. Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins

1355. Victory comes from the Government

1356. Vigour is contagious

1357. Virtue is its own punishment.

Anonymous

1358. Voters quickly forget what a man says.

Richard Nixon

1359. Walter Mondale: George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologise. George Bush: Well

1360. War destroys men

1361. War has ended

1362. War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.

Desiderius Erasmus

1363. War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.

Georges Clemenceau

1364. War will cease when men refuse to fight.

Fridtjof Hansen

1365. Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.

John F. Kennedy

1366. Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war ?

Rev. William Spooner

1367. Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.

Marcus Aurelius

1368. Watch what people are cynical about

1369. Watership Down: You've read the book. You've seen the movie. Now eat the stew!

Dani Zweig

1370. We all perform...all the time

1371. We always love those who admire us

1372. We are all in the gutter

1373. We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

1374. We are here to add what we can to life

1375. We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the child at play.

Heraclitus

1376. We are not abandoning our convictions

1377. We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

J. Danforth Quayle

1378. We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

1379. We are told that talent creates its own opportunities. But it sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities

1380. We can not expect to breed respect for law and order among people who do not share the fruits of our freedom.

Hubert H. Humphrey

1381. We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

Will Rogers

1382. We compound our suffering by victimising each other.

Athol Fugard

1383. We do not inherit this land from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.

Haida Indian saying

1384. We don't see things as they are

1385. We don't want to go back to tomorrow

1386. We expect them to work toward the elimination of human rights.

J. Danforth Quayle

1387. We give up leisure in order that we may have leisure

1388. We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die

1389. We have a firm commitment to NATO

1390. We have done so much

1391. We have introduced something new into training at Spurs. Running.

Gerry Francis

1392. We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world - or to make it the last.

John F. Kennedy

1393. We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.

Epictetus

1394. We haven't had problems here about race. We just don't go for letting the coloured ones in.

Rainbow girls leader

1395. We hold these truths to be sacred and undeniable; that all men are created equal and independent

1396. We join ourselves to no party that does not carry the American flag

1397. We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.

Oscar Wilde

1398. We love your adherence to democratic principles.

William F. Buckley

1399. We must face the fact that the preservation of individual freedom is incompatible with a full satisfaction of our views of distributive justice.

F.A. Hayek

1400. We pray for MacArthur's erection. Sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo

1401. We promise according to our hopes

1402. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller

1403. We win half the battle when we make up our minds to take the world as we find it

1404. We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Aesop

1405. We

1406. We're all capable of mistakes

1407. We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

J. Danforth Quayle

1408. We're overpaying him but he's worth it.

Samuel Goldwyn

1409. Wealth is not without its advantages

1410. Welcome to President Bush

1411. Welfare is the art of taking the money you've earned and giving it to someone who hasn't.

Anonymous

1412. Well-balanced meal: to have selected items from both the left and right sides of the vending machine.

Aleccia McDonald

1413. Well

1414. Well I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

Yogi Berra

1415. Well done is better than well said.

Benjamin Franklin

1416. Were it offered to my choice

1417. What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

J. Danforth Quayle

1418. What broke in a man when he could bring himself to kill another?

Alan Paton

1419. What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

1420. What did you ask at school today?

Richard Fenyman

1421. What does not destroy me

1422. What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car ?

George Bernard Shaw

1423. What doesn't kill me better be able to run damn fast.

Anonymous

1424. What experience and history teach is this - that people and governments never have learnt anything from history

1425. What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

Aristotle

1426. What is the difference between journalism and literature? Journalism is unreadable

1427. What is the meaning of life? Life has no meaning. It's just a fortunate coincidence of carbon chemistry. Forget about it.

Anonymous

1428. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

1429. What light is to the eyes--what air is to the lungs--what love is to the heart

1430. What luck for the rulers that men do not think.

Adolf Hitler

1431. What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

Anonymous

1432. What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.

Benjamin Disraeli

1433. What we call morals is simply blind obedience to words of command. Havelock Ellis

1434. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.

Charlotte Whitton

1435. Whatever you can do

1436. Whatever you do

1437. What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped?

Anonymous

1438. When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing

1439. When a man says he approves of something in principle

1440. When all else fails

1441. When all is said and done

1442. When angry

1443. When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A.

1444. When I use a word

1445. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.

Clarence Darrow

1446. When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one

1447. When in doubt

1448. When the going gets tough

1449. When one has been threatened with a great injustice

1450. When the president does it

1451. When the tide of life turns against you; And the current upsets your boat; Don't waste tears on what might have been; Just lie on your back and float.

Anonymous

1452. When the rich make war it's the poor that die.

Jean-Paul Sartre

1453. When wealth is lost

1454. When you are angry or frustrated

1455. When you get right down to it

1456. When you have completed 95% of your journey you are halfway there.

Japanese Proverb

1457. When you have nothing important or interesting to say

1458. When you have nothing to say

1459. When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before.

Clifton Fadiman

1460. When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers

1461. Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery

1462. Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.

Harry S. Truman

1463. Whenever you see a successful business

1464. Where all men think alike

1465. Where liberty is

1466. Where self-interest is suppressed

1467. Where would we be without rhetorical questions?

Anonymous

1468. Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.

Harry S. Truman

1469. While money can't buy happiness

1470. While most peoples' opinions change

1471. While one person hesitates because he feels inferior

1472. Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.

George Orwell

1473. Who knows what we live

1474. Who will not suffer labour in this world

1475. Who will protect the public when the police violate the law?

Ramsey Clark

1476. Why can you only have two doors on a chicken coop? If it had four it would be a chicken sedan.

Anonymous

1477. Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres! Jerry Coleman

1478. Winners repeat frequently while the defeated are apt to be defeated almost continuously.

George E. Smith

1479. Winning is not everything. It's the only thing.

Vince Lombardi

1480. Wisdom denotes the pursuing of the best ends by the best means.

Francis Hutcheson

1481. Wise men never sit and wail their loss

1482. Without courage

1483. Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

Marcel Archard

1484. Women prefer Democrats to men.

Representative Tony Coelho (D-Ca)

1485. Wooing

1486. Words are

1487. Words divide us

1488. Work 8 hours

1489. Work expands so as to fill the time available for it's completion.

C Northcote Parkinson

1490. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Oscar Wilde

1491. Writers must avoid clichÚs like the plague.

Fleet Street memo

1492. Writing a book is like washing an elephant: there's no good place to begin or end

1493. Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.

Jules Renard

1494. You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

From a guest directory at a Japanese hotel

1495. You are only young once

1496. You can best reward a liar by believing nothing of what he says.

Aristippus

1497. You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

Eric Hoffer

1498. You can fool all the people some of the time

1499. You can fool some of the people all of the time

1500. You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Al Capone

1501. You can have brilliant ideas

1502. You can lead a horticulture

1503. You can never plan the future by the past.

Edmund Burke

1504. You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Jeannette Rankin

1505. You can only live once

1506. You can outdistance that which is running after you

1507. You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans.

Ronald Reagan

1508. You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.

Naguib Mahfouz

1509. You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do.

Henry Ford

1510. You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.

John Wooden

1511. You cannot be a leader

1512. You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

Anonymous

1513. You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team

1514. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Steven Wright

1515. You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.

Will Rogers

1516. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.

H.R. Haldeman

1517. You can't try to do things; you simply must do them.

Ray Bradbury

1518. You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one.

Edward Keating

1519. You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault

1520. You don't have to stay up nights to succeed; you have to stay awake days.

Anonymous

1521. You don't have to worry about me. I might have been born yesterday...but I stayed up all night.

Anonymous

1522. You either make dust or eat dust. H. Jackson Brown

1523. You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.

John Morley

1524. You manage things; you lead people.

Admiral Grace Murray Hopper

1525. You may abuse a tragedy

1526. You simply must stop taking advice from other people.

Melissa Timberman

1527. You will find it a very good practice always to verify your references

1528. You're only as good as the people you hire.

Ray Kroc

1529. Youth is a blunder

1530.